One Night, One Mistake
by Free17
Summary: AU! What if one night ended with Katniss pregnant before the 74th Hunger Games? Story will start in first book and finish in Mockingjay! Journey through pregnancy, relationships, games, and more! ALL RIGHTS GO TO SUZANNE COLLINS! I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES TRILOGY! Rated T!
1. Chapter 1: Reaping

I walk down the cinder street with my game bag slung over my shoulder. The morning humidity is palpable, the sun's heat will only make the day more unbearable, I'm already exhausted from it. I guess it is fitting that one of the hottest days of the year is reaping day. Nothing happy ever comes out of these days. For some families it is tragedy and others a relief that their children will be spared another year.

This year is one I have been especially dreading. Prim's name is in the pool for the first time. When I was her age I had my name in four times because of tesserae, but now at the age of sixteen I have twenty slips of paper with my name on it. The odds are not in my favor.

I cut through some side streets until I near Gale's house. Strangely, he didn't come out for our hunt this morning. I can't remember the last time he missed without telling me a head of time. I lightly knock on the worn wooden door, but after a while, I don't get answer and head back home.

I am caught up worrying about what happened with Gale this morning that I don't realize I have already made it home. I quietly slide through the front door walking right past my mom and heading to wash up.

Once I have all the coal dust and dirt out from under my fingernails and from behind my ears. I find that my mother has laid out one of her nicer dresses for me to wear. I slip into the blue dress happy that it is lose and very comfortable.

"Let's put your hair up too," she suggests entering the room.

I watch as her hands make quick work of the very technical braid. Once she is finished, I crouch down in front of Prim. "Got to tuck that shirt in little duck," I say and tuck the back of her white blouse in. She giggles as I tickle her side.

"You look very pretty, Katniss," Prim compliments me.

"No where near as pretty as you little duck," I say and stand back up. I look over at the clock and frown at the time. We have to head to the square. "We should go."

Prim and I walk hand in hand to the square, only separating when we have to be check in and head to the right section for our ages. I watch as she gets her blood drawn from her finger and then lose her when it is my turn. The female Peacekeeper pricks my finger, but frowns when a different beeping sound comes from the little scanner. She orders for my other hand and then repeats with the pricking and the scanning. It makes the weird sound again, but she just gives me a pitiful look and waves me on.

I am standing shoulder to shoulder with the other girls trying to spot Prim's blonde braids. I can't see her with all the younger kids, but I do find Gale. He averts his eyes and focuses straight ahead. I don't understand why he would be blowing me off, but I'll have to find out later.

The Mayor gives the same speech as every other year and then Effie Trinket comes out on stage. Effie is as pink and bubbly as ever. She goes through her monologue about the Capitol and then says, "as always, ladies first."

I hold my breath as she clicks over to the large glass bowl in her high heels. She waves her hand around for what seems like hours until she picks one slip and walks back over to the microphone. Effie carefully and clearly reads the name from the small slip.

I let out a breath that it isn't my name, but then I almost faint at the recollection at which the name belongs to.

Prim.

I watched horrified as the crowd slowly splits and I see the tail of her shirt sticking out. I have to do something. I can't have her get up on that stage. My feet won't move, but eventually I make it to the center aisle.

"Prim!" I yell and push my way through two Peacekeepers. They fight back and then I finally get more words out of my mouth. "I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!"

Prim starts to cry and runs towards me. "Katniss you can't," she pleads.

I hold her close to me. "I'm sorry Prim, but you have to find mom. Go Prim."

"No, Katniss you can't. What about the baby," she whispers.

"I'm sorry," I say again just as Gale appears picking Prim up and taking her away towards my mother. I feel the Peacekeepers pulling me towards the stage and I let them lead me. I stand stiffly next to Effie, and barely respond when she ask me my name. I can't process what has just happened. The only thing that is echoing through my mind is what Prim said, _"what about the baby." _The stupid mistake from the night of the festival that I can't shake off. I really have no luck with odds.

I try to empty all the thoughts from my head and focus on a spot in the distance keeping my face void of all emotions until the next name is announced, "Peeta Mellark!"

There are hundreds of other boys and he is the one who I will be fighting to the death with. It could have been anyone else. I watch him out of the corner of my eye shuffle up on the stage and stand on the other side of Effie.

When Effie asks for a big round of applause, I finally look at the crowd. The only response is the silent salute of everyone bringing their three middle fingers to their lips and then raising them towards us, no clapping. This is something I have only seen in times of death. This is District 12's way of saying good-bye to someone you love.

As we are both lead into the Justice Building I can't help but look at the back of Peeta's head and wonder how I was going to kill the father of my unborn child.

I sit on the red velvet upholstered couch and try to keep my emotions in check. A million thoughts run through my head. Most are about the night Peeta and I took it one-step to far in the meadow, and I ended up pregnant. As I am about to break into hysterics the door creaks open.

Prim rushes over to me and wraps her arms around my waist. I clutch her small frame trying to push the invading thoughts that this might be the last time I will ever see my little sister. I kiss the top of her head and rub her back. She looks up at me with tears clouding her blue eyes. "I'm so sorry," she croaks, and my heartbreaks knowing she feels guilty about this. It wouldn't be as bad if it was just me going to my death sentence, but I'm not just one person.

"Prim, this is not your fault. I love you. Gale will help you while I'm gone. It will be alright Prim," I fade off into a whisper not trusting my voice. Prim nods and I detach myself from her and walk over to my mother. We haven't been on the best terms since my father died, and getting pregnant this young has not helped. I can tell she is disappointed in me, but I don't really care after how she feels after she left us to starve.

"Mom, you have to be there for her. I won't be there. You are all she has left and you have to be there for her," I say and pull her into my arms. She hesitantly hugs me back at first, but then tightens her embrace.

We break apart and she says, "I won't Katniss. I love you."

I nod and turn back to Prim. "Katniss, will you promise you'll try to win. Not just for me, but for the baby."

I take one deep breath. "Prim I will try to win," I reply just as the Peacekeeper opens the door and ushers them out while I yell, "I love you" to the closed door.

Gale comes in next. He barely says anything to me, and never makes eye contact. He makes promises to watch out for Prim and make sure she never starves. I know he will stick to his promise, but I know he is mad at me. I can't imagine why he would have any reason. I haven't told him anything.

Next Madge comes in. She gives me her golden Mockingjay pin and demands that I wear it in the arena. I have no reason to say no and once the Peacekeeper takes her out. Peeta Mellark's father takes her place. He is quiet and sits awkwardly on the chair. He gave me a bag of cookies, but my stomach can't handle anything that sweet at the moment.

I feel the need to tell him that he was going to be a Grandfather. Let him know what might have been, but in the end we sit in silence until the Peacekeeper opens the door one last time. "I'll watch after your sister. I will make sure she is eating," he promises. Another piece of mind that people will take care of her when I'm gone.

We get on the trains and I escape to my compartment before anyone can see me breakdown. I cry and scream into my pillow until my stomach rumbles loud enough for me to seek out some food.

I enter the dining car and find Peeta, Effie, and a drunken Haymitch. At first, I'm assaulted with the smell of delicious food that makes my mouth water, but then something sour catches my nose. I breathe through my mouth and will myself to hold it together. I have learned that morning sickness is not just limited to the morning.

I sit heavily in the empty chair next to Peeta and settle with some bread. The three others have small talk about the Capitol, and I just ignore them and deflect all attention away from me. When I finally start to shut them out completely, Effie brings me into their conversation.

"Darling, why don't you have something else besides bread?" Effie asks me with her strange Capitol accent.

"I'm not feeling well," I answer and I notice Peeta gives me a sideways glance.

"I'm sorry. How about you go back to your room and watch the recaps there," Effie suggests as if I want to watch the recap of the reapings.

I slide my chair away from the table and silently leave, but I can feel Peeta's eyes burning a hole in the back of my head.

I'm not in my room for longer then three minutes when there is a soft knock on the door. I don't move from my the end of my bed. The knocking continues until I finally shuffle over to the door. I only crack it slightly and then walk back towards the bed. I hear the door open wider behind me, and then it clicks shut. I know its Peeta. I don't think Haymitch would actually want to talk to me.

I face him and I can tell he is thinking about something. His eyes also seem to look everywhere, but at me. "Did you want to talk?" I blurt out to break the awkward silence.

"Yeah, I just wanted to apologize," he says and scratches the back of his neck. I don't say anything and he continues, "ever since the night of the festival I have been feeling so guilty. I took advantage of you, and now this makes it even worse. I was going to apologize any way, but plans changed. I'm really sorry Katniss. I never wanted something like that to happen. It wasn't me."

I don't know what to say. I would never think that he would actually feel something about what we did. "Well, I certainly didn't try to stop it," I mumble.

"Katniss, I just want you know that I'm sorry and I'm here to talk about anything," he says and turns towards the door. I about to watch him leave, but instead I get off the bed and grab him by his arm. He spins around with a surprised look on his face.

"Thanks" With this he nods his head and leaves me alone.

Why does he have to be so nice? Even after what happened, I can't be mad at him. I can't tell what his real motives are. I shake my head clearing my thoughts and walk into the adjoining bathroom to my room. I take off the blue dress and try to figure out the shower. There are so many different buttons that I just pick a random one and hope it works.

The setting was the perfect temperature, but I now smell like a flowerily perfume. I use the automatic body dryer and look at myself in the large mirror. I haven't taken note to the changes my body is going through, but I notice everything now.

I am about two months in and what seem like a little weight gain to others looks like a huge difference to me. My breasts are fuller then they have ever been. I see the thickness around my hips that has a slight curve to it in my middle. It's not much, but its there. I walk back to into my room and find the dresser filled with different clothes. I find the simplest shirt and stretchy shorts and climb into the large bed.

I lay on my back thinking everything over. Tomorrow I want to talk to Haymitch. I feel like he should be the only one I tell about my little problem. I know that Peeta can't know and Effie would probably just tell anyone and everyone the exciting news about her pregnant tribute. I toss and turn some more until the swaying of the train lulls me to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Capitol

_**Warning: Use of one curse word in this chapter, and Haymitch says it…. **_

I don't know what time I wake up to use the bathroom, but it is still dark out. I fumble with trying to find a light switch and when I finally do, I'm blinded and have to take a minute to adjust; grumbling to myself about having the urge to pee every four hours, which interrupts my much-needed sleep.

Once I am relieved I head back to bed, but sleep evades me. With my mind up and running there will be no stopping it any time soon. I find a plush robe and socks and leave my compartment. I quietly shuffle down the hallway towards a light. Surprisingly, I find Haymitch eating alone at the table. He must have heard me come in and he acknowledges me with a grunt.

I ignore him and set off to clench my craving for something sweet. I look over the full table of food and find some chocolate cake. I cut myself a very generous piece and sit down opposite of Haymitch.

We eat in silence, but we do share the occasional glances. Once I have finished my cake I sip on my water and Haymitch sips on his coffee –which may or may not have rum in it-, and we just stare at each other. Then he breaks the silence.

"Are you pregnant?" He blurts. "I mean you wouldn't eat dinner and I know any right person from the Seam would never pass up food. Then you eat a huge piece of cake in the middle of the night."

I sit there unresponsive. I clench my jaw and look down at my hands.

"Who's is the lucky man," he says, but not in his usual harsh tone. I could almost say that he is actually trying to be nice.

"Peeta," I whisper and I don't think he hears me. To give him a hint because I do not want to say it again I turn my head towards the direction of our rooms and his eyes go wide.

"No shit," he mumbles. "You are pregnant with your district's partner's baby, and let me guess he doesn't know it! What is he your boyfriend or something?"

"No."

"The odds really aren't in your favor are they? I mean you are in one big problem as it is. Then your little sister is picked on her first shot, and you are going to the arena with the father of your baby! The Capitol is going to love this Sweetheart."

My head snaps up and I give him the deadliest look. "They aren't going to love it, because they aren't going to know about," I snap and cross my arms over my chest. He just shakes his head at me.

"Katniss, it could save your life. You need people to like you, and this will do it."

I look down at my feet. I don't want this to make people like me. I don't want people to know that I'm pregnant. I remember girls getting pregnant in the Seam at a very young age and all the looks they would get. The pity and disapprove. I don't want anyone's pity. I can take care of myself and if I were still in 12, I would have taken care of my baby. Now I don't have to worry about even it ever being born.

I look back up at Haymitch. "No one will know about this besides us. Peeta, can never know," I hiss and rise from my chair, and wordless walk back to my compartment.

The next morning I wake up and dash to the bathroom. I retch and heave until there is nothing left in my stomach. I pull myself off the cool tile floor and rinse my mouth out. I strip out of my sweaty clothes and push a random button in the shower. I am blasted with cold and hot water and smell like a flower when I'm done, but I couldn't care less. I find another lose shirt and black pants and walk to the dining car.

When I enter the dining car Peeta gives me a small smile, and Haymitch ignores me. Effie is busy talking about our busy day; I focus on keeping me stomach from churning. I manage with bits of bread and sipping water. Once I have something solid in my stomach, I have the urge to eat everything.

I load my plate with eggs, bacon, and fruit. I eat silently listening to Haymitch talk more about sponsors and about some other stuff, I don't pay attention too. I do listen when Effie says we will be at the Capitol in an hour or so, and we must be on our best behavior - as if we were going to act out like small children.

Effie leaves to readjust her make up and Haymitch goes in the opposite direction for the bar car. I finish my food and focus on the little bit of water that is left in m cup. I feel Peeta shift in his seat next to mine, and I know he is watching me. I set down my glass and glance over at him.

"Do you think Haymitch will be able to get us any sponsors?" He says with a lighter tone.

"Not if he is to drunk to talk to them," I sigh.

We sit in silence for a little bit longer until we enter a long tunnel. Then we emerge into a busy platform full of hundreds of people. Peeta gets up and walks over to the window smiling and waving. It makes me sick thinking about how all these people will be rooting for my death in just a couple days.

"Katniss, come here," he encourages but I shake my head no and hang back out of the way. Effie enters the car and smiles brightly at Peeta babbling about how he's meant to be a star.

We are lead off the train and meet with our prep teams. In the Remake Center, I am waxed, plucked, and scrubbed down to beauty base zero. My prep team apologizes in what seems like a sincere way to them, but it is truly insulting. They find it astonishing that I have never waxed my eyebrows before.

Once I am done with the torturing, I'm taken to small white room with just a thin robe on. Sitting on the cold table, I have never felt more exposed in my life. The door opens and a younger man who I am assuming is my stylist Cinna enters. He is very simple looking with just some gold eyeliner. I feel more relaxed just from his appearance.

"Hello, Katniss. I'm Cinna, your stylist," he says extending his right hand. I take it gently and give it a small shake.

"Hello, will there be any more waxing," I ask.

He gives me a genuine smile and says, "No more of that. Let's go have some lunch."

We go to another room that has a couch and a table with a chicken dish with orange sauce. I pull my robe tighter around me and slowly approach the table. I get a smell of the chicken and feel the bile rising up in the back of my throat. I clamped my hand over my mouth and run to the nearest trashcan. I lose all of my breakfast after a couple minutes of retching into the can.

I sit back and pull my knees to my chest. I can feel myself shaking and I can't stop. Cinna crouches down in front of me and I feel like I am about to break down. How am I going to explain myself out of this one? I didn't even eat anything and I threw up.

Cinna helps me stand up and lye down on the couch. He gives me a cold glass of water which I sib until my stomach settles. I take a few deep breathes and sit up. Cinna takes a seat next to me and places his hand over mine. I look up at him and I can tell he knows.

"How many times a day does this happen," he asks me.

I can feel a tear slip from my eye. Another person knows and I haven't even had to tell them. I need to get better at hiding this and quickly.

"Well, today twice," I mumble. "I don't know what I am going to do. I keep getting sick and I'm tried all the time. How am I going to get sponsors like this?"

"I can't do anything about getting sick, but I can help you make impression for the sponsors. Now let's get to work," he says.

He gives me a light dusting of make up, just enough to enhance my features without out clouding who I really am. While he works, he tells me about the opening ceremonies. Most of which I already know, but he stresses the important of how this is the first time sponsors will really get to see us.

He helps me into a black jumpsuit, and when he zips it up it is hard to breath. He can sense my discomfort immediately.

"Sorry, I will have to make some adjustments for the other outfits."

I watch him in the mirror work on my hair and then I evaluate myself overall. I look striking in the black suit. I turn to the side and frown when I can see the slight curve in my middle. I feel like a countdown is going on to when everyone will know. I just hope I am dead or a victor before that happens.

We leave the room and go down to the bottom level of the Remake center. Peeta is there with his stylist Portia in a matching black jumpsuit. Peeta and I get in our chariot and Cinna lights the suits right as we are about to leave. When the chariot in front of us exits through the big doors, our lurches forward and I almost fall off the back. Thankfully, Peeta grabs my hand before I fall and steadies me. I am about to let go of his hand, but then I have the need to clutch his hand harder. I am scared and it seems easier with someone by your side.

We go around the City Circle and everyone is screaming and pointing at us, we both smile and wave with our free hands. Once we stop in front of Snows mansion. The anthem plays and then after one more time around the circle we enter the large doors again and our suits slowly dim back to black. Peeta helps me off the chariot and forget I am holding his hand until I notice Haymitch staring at me curiously and I drop his hand and follow Effie into the elevator.

We get to our floor, which according to Effie is the best because we get the largest one. I find my room and take off the tight suit. I am too tired to find anything to wear to bed and just climb under the covers in my under clothes.

My stomach rumbling loudly brings me out of my slumber, and I note that even when I was starving hunger has never woken me up before. This baby is doing the strangest things to my body. I feel like I don't even know myself anymore.

I talk into a microphone next to the bed and order a five-course meal. An avox wheels the cart of food into my room and I attack the chicken and rice as soon as they leave. I finish off my feast with a piece of chocolate cake and then climb back under the covers, and sleep finds me quickly.

I wake early to Effie knocking on my door saying, "today is a big, big, big day!"

With a grunt, I roll out of bed and head to the bathroom. I end up throwing up twice in the shower. The second time caused by the smell of the first.

I dress into the outfit laid out on my bed. It is made of some stretchy material and the pants are the same color as the shirt. There is a number twelve stitch on the sleeve, and I notice that it is very lose fitting around my mid-section. I silently thank Cinna and leave for the dining room.

Everyone is already eating so I nibble on some bread and then eat some eggs and bacon. Once we are finished eating and getting some useful advice from Haymitch, Effie takes us down to training.

I go over what Haymitch told us over breakfast: stay away from our strengths, learn some news things, and for Peeta and me to stay together at all times. I'm not crazy about Peeta and I being attached by the hip, but it could be worse.

We are the last ones to arrive and once we join the semi-circle the instruct starts talking. She talks about the importance of not just fighting skills, but knowing about different plants and survival. She dismisses us and we decided to go to the knots tying station. I laugh as Peeta fumbles through the simple knots, and I master the more difficult ones.

After we eat lunch together in a separate cafeteria, we move to the fire building station. I take almost an hour to get a flame. However, Peeta can make a fire very quickly and without matches. I guess tending to a fire is something a baker would know.

At dinner, there is idle talk about training and the other tributes. I focus on the food and so does Peeta. At one point Effie orders a bottle of wine. As soon as I smell the wine, I have to make a mad dash to the nearest bathroom. It made my stomach flip so fast I couldn't even try to maintain my composure. Thankfully, being away from the smell settles my stomach some so I only dry heave into the white bowl.

For good measure, I splash some cold water on my face and rinse out my mouth. When I open the door, I almost run straight into Peeta. He jumps back startled.

"Sorry I was just worried because I have never seen anyone run that fast before," he tries to joke.

"It's fine. I just don't like the smell of alcohol," I mumble and his face morphs into a frown. I guess he is thinking about the festival again, and he is feeling guilty again.

"I'm going to my compartment, night Peeta," I say and slide past him and down the hallway.

"Wait," he yells and jogs after me. "Can I show you something before you go to bed?"

"Sure," I sigh and follow him up a flight of stairs to the roof. It is over looking the city and it astounds me. All the lights look like millions of fireflies and it seems to stretch on forever. The wind is cold and makes me shiver. Peeta notice because he takes off his jacket and places it around my shoulders.

"Thanks," I say and he gives me a shy smile in return.

He walks over to the railing and looks over the city. I walk over and stand next to him. He takes a deep breath and looks over to me. "You would tell me if something serious is going on, because with you getting sick at meals…I am just worried. I know it might not make sense for me to worry about you right now, but I really do Katniss."

I turn my gaze back to the city lights. Part of my brain is screaming at me to tell him the truth. Get it off your chest, but the other half is saying no. Peeta seems genuine, but he will still be fighting against me in the arena. I can't forget that in a couple of days being from the same district might not count for anything.

"I'm fine Peeta; I am just not feeling to good. I think it might be nerves," I lie and he seems to accept it. "We had a really long day, and I need some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Night Katniss," he waves and turns back towards the railing.

The next two days of training go the same as the first. Peeta and I stick together and barely talk to the other tributes. One girl does catch my attention the twelve-year-old from District 11. She remind me so Prim that for a moment I can almost envision Prim standing in this very spot training for her death.

Peeta tells me her name is Rue and after that I feel like she is right behind me every time I turn around. Peeta called her our shadow, but I can only think of the small yellow flower named Rue that grows in the meadow. I have to bite my lip multiple times to hold back the tears. Hormones can really get the best of me.

On the last day of training, I follow Peeta to the camouflage station. I feel the station to be rather pointless, but I have done everything else-besides archery- so I don't really have a choice. Peeta starts mixing different browns and greens. I stop watching him work and listen to what the instructor is saying, but when I do glance back at Peeta I see what he has done. He has painted half his forearm to look just like a tree. All the detail and the colors are perfect.

"I did the cakes at the bakery. After awhile I started to get good, I guess," he shrugs but I am deeply impressed.

On the third day of training, we're pulled from the cafeteria for our private sessions. Right before I go in Peeta tells me, "Shoot straight." I give him a small nod and walk through the big metal doors.

The Gamemakers are all drunk. I guess watching twenty-four kids so their best skills are not very exciting.

I walk over to the archery range and look over the arsenal of weapons. Bows made from wood, plastic, and materials I have never even seen before. I pick one and its matching quiver. I start with the standard bull eyes targets, and when I am ready, I make my own shooting range. I stand in the middle of the room. I shoot at the throwing knives dummy and hit right through the heart. Next, I take down a rope a holding a bag of sand that splits open on the floor. I have some of the Gamemakers attention, but not enough. To worried about their roasted pig. Without thinking, I turn and fire an arrow right through the apple in the roast mouth. The arrow making a thud when it sticks to the wall with the apple still attached to the head of the arrow. I give a little bow and walk towards the elevator with the sounds of breaking glasses as my chorus. I guess they haven't been shot at before.

I make it to the twelfth floor when I feel the tears start running down my face. I run to my room and block out the others calling me from the sitting room. I fling myself down on the bed and scream into my pillow. I have just signed my death certificate. There is no way they will let me get away with that. I'll be lucky if I get above a four.

I must cry myself to sleep, because the next thing I now I am awaken to someone shaking my shoulder. I roll over and I'm met with a very concerned Peeta.

"I thought you would rather be woken up by me instead of Haymitch," he says, I give him a nod of appreciation and follow him out of my room.

Effie is the first to ask about what we did at our training sessions and when I tell them how I shot the apple. Haymitch starts laughing so hard he can't breath, and Effie is besides herself saying how its bad manners to shoot at people. I can't help but laugh at her and Peeta joins in too.

I sit next to Peeta on the couch as we wait for our scores. Not surprising that all the careers pull high numbers and Peeta gets an eight. However when the number eleven flashes next to my name I can't believe it. I guess losing my head worked out for me.

Everyone congratulates me, and then I'm dismissed to bed thankful to be alone after today.

The next day our mentors coach us for our interviews the following day. As I enter the dining car, I can tell that something is off. Peeta and Haymitch are in deep conversation, but as soon as is it down their voices hush and they eat in silence. I don't have the energy to think about this and I focus on my full plate of food.

Once we finished eating, Haymitch informs me that Peeta has asked to be coached separately. I feel like he is a traitor, and I have to bite my tongue. He acts like my friend and then he does this. What kind of game is Peeta playing?

I just nod and let Effie take me away. She tries to teach me to walk in heels, but with much failure, she settles with just two inch ones. By the time I am with Haymitch my back hurts, my feet hurt, and I am very irritated.

Half my time with Haymitch, we just sit there while he tries to ask me simple questions, but each time I have a snappy remake. He drills me about being likeable, but nothing helps. He gives up early and I take advantage of this time for a short nap.

The next morning I'm woken up by my prep team, and ushered into the shower. I then sit still while they pluck my eyebrows, apply make up, and paint my nails, a couple hours later they let me order lunch. I gorge myself on chicken with pasta in some light pink sauce, and I regret it after my stomach starts to turn, but I hold it in.

My prep team fusses over me some until Cinna tells them that I am perfect. He shoos them from the room and unzips the bag containing my gown for the interviews. It is orange covered with gems, with tints of yellow and blue. When Cinna helps me put it on, and he finally zips it up I can barely recognize myself. I look in the mirror and see someone with full lips, perfect skin, and a full-length gown that is radiant.

"Thank you Cinna," I say and smiles at me.

"It was my pleasure, Katniss. Now how are you feeling about the interview tonight?"

"Nervous, how am I going to be charming and likeable," I grumble.

Cinna just chuckles and moves some of the stray hair out of my face. "Just be yourself. Tell the truth and act like your talking to me."

"Okay."

"Now let's go show the world, the girl on fire!" he says.

We meet with everyone else on the District 12 floor and then ride the elevator together. When we arrive, the tributes are lining up on stage. We will be last so I have to watch all the tributes do wonderful interviews and then there will be me.

I stand next to Peeta and notice that his black suit matches very well with my dress. Peeta looks over at me.

"You look very beautiful," he compliments me, and I feel a blush creep up on my cheeks.

"You look handsome too," I compliment back awkwardly and this causes him to smile more. I roll my eyes and look out into the gathering crowd. I spot Cinna instantly and take a deep breath. Just act as if I am talking to Cinna I repeat to myself.

Soon Caesar Flickerman walks onto the stage in a sparkly powder blue suit and matching hair. His voice booms over the cheering voices of the Capitol citizens. He talks a little bit about what they can expect tonight, and then begins with District 1.

One by one, the tributes take their allotted three minutes and try their best to be charming, witty, or menacing. All the careers are very confident and bold with their answer, but the others are much more timid like me.

Before I know it, Caesar is announcing my name and I don't remember telling my feet to move towards him, but they do. I can hear my pulse in my head and I feel like I might throw up, but instead I take a deep breath and make my face form a bright smile. I hope it doesn't look like I grimacing.

Caesar asks me trivial questions about how I am finding the Capitol. Of course, I panic over the smallest question and blurt, "The food!" The audience laughs, but at me more then with me.

Caesar helps me along and then he asks about Prim. "You volunteered for our little sister. What can you tell us about?"

"Her name is Prim, and I love her more then anything," I say barely above a whisper, and for the first time all night a hush has fallen over the circle. Everyone is listening to what I'm saying.

"One more thing before you have to go. What did you say to her after the reaping?"

"Well she asked me if I would try to win, and I told her I would."

"I bet you did," says Caesar and the buzzer goes off ending my interview. Relieved that I am done I walk back to my spot, and Peeta takes my place for his interview.

Peeta is so charming that he and Caesar spend half the interview cracking jokes and talking about how different the showers are in the Capitol. However, Caesar starts to make it interest.

"So Peeta is there a girl waiting back home?"

Peeta smirks and says, "Not really. I guess there is this one girl. I have liked her forever, but it's very complicated. We actually are expecting a baby together."

I have a flash of anger shoot through me. He has done this to someone else? He doesn't know about our baby, and we are certainly not a couple. What is he talking about, and who!

"Wow," Cesar says and the audience is in just as much shock. "Then you have to win to be there for you child!"

"I would love to Cesar, but winning won't help with that," Peeta says sadly.

"Why not," Cesar asks.

"Because…she came here with me," he admits and then everything erupts into chaos.

_**There it is! Things from here on out will be much different from the books! Thank you for all the reviews, and please continue to write them! Next chapter will be up within the next two weeks! **_


	3. Chapter 3: Let the Games Begin

I'm having a hard time comprehending what just happened. I don't remember any of my interview, but I can't forget Peeta's. He just told everyone that I'm pregnant, and that he has feelings for me. The feelings part is probably just Haymitch's idea for the sponsors, but how did he find out I was pregnant? Only two people in the Capitol know, Haymitch and Cinna. I know he never has talked to Cinna without me being around and Cinna doesn't know he is the father. That leaves one suspect, Haymitch.

Once the interviews conclude I stomp back to the elevator and enter an empty one and jam the door close button before anyone else can join me. I slump against the back wall with my head in my hands.

What am I going to do! This will just make me look weak to all the other tributes. I told Haymitch that this needed to stay a secret, but now this has changed everything. The whole country knows!

The elevator doors open to the twelfth floor and I storm out and bump into Haymitch, perfect. I slap him as hard as I can across the face.

"What was that for?" He yells at me.

"For telling him you idiot, you can't do this! He wasn't ever supposed to find out," I scream and it ends as a strangled sob. I turn away from Haymitch as the tears fall, and that's when I hear him approach.

"You weren't ever going to tell me," Peeta whispers.

I can't find my voice to answer him so I just give a small nod, and he gives me the worst look. It isn't a look of anger, it's a look of sadness. His shoulders slump forward and he looks down at his shoes.

"Katniss you should have told me. I could have helped you."

I shake my head and wipe the tears from my eyes. "I'm sorry Peeta," I say and run down the hall. I need to get away from everyone. I just need to be alone.

I end up on the roof just staring over the railing wishing I could just jump and end this nightmare, but the force field would make that impossible. I should have never told Haymitch. I should have just kept this to myself and then everything would be less complicated. I guess I should have suspected something was up. Haymitch had reasoning behind us acting like best friends in public. He is going to sell us as a tragic love story when all we really are stupid teenagers. Who had one drunken night, not lovers or soul mates, just stupid kids.

I look down at my stomach and place my hand over top of the slight curve of the growing baby. The baby that has made me sick and exhausted and I will never get to meet them. Prim will never get to meet her niece or nephew. I remember when I told her and mom. Prim was so happy that she would get to be an aunt. I was crying while I told them, but Prim managed to make the situation seem like this was suppose to happen and that it was the best thing in the world. The only positive thing about this baby was how happy it made Prim. I would do anything to make her happy, but now I guess the one thing I could do to make her happy is impossible.

I'm jerked out of my thoughts when I feel someone touch my shoulder. I jump away from the railing and turn around. Peeta is standing there looking very defeated. I don't know what to say to him. I turn away from him and bite back the tears.

"Katniss I think we should talk," he says gently. I don't respond.

"Katniss what I said tonight was true. I have always cared about you. Remember the bread," he says.

"Of course," I croak and wipe the tears out from underneath my eyes. Damn hormones make me cry all the time.

"I have always cared about you, and the night of the festival was my teenage self taking advantage of you. I'm so sorry that I put you through this. Ever since Haymitch told me, I have been kicking myself because I left you to deal with something so much bigger than the two of us. I'm so sorry Katniss. Please just let me help you make it out of the arena. Let me help you again, and if not for you. For our baby," he pleads and takes two steps closer to me.

I don't move away from him. I look deep into his eyes, trying to read his mind to see if he is telling the truth. I can't find anything but remorse and guilt so when he opens his arms I don't stop myself from walking into them. I need someone to hold me together for a minute. I am too tired to do it myself.

With Peeta's strong arms around me, I cry. I don't know how long he holds me, but it feels like hours when I finally pull my head off his chest. "Why are you such a good person," I wonder aloud. Peeta cracks a small smile and runs his hand up and down my back, and his touch sends shivers down my spine.

"I care about you Katniss, and when we go into the arena tomorrow, please remember that. I am not going to be the one to hurt you or watch you get hurt. I know you probably won't want my help, but I am going to help you any way. Promise me you will keep that in mind?"

"Okay Peeta," I answer and lean my head back onto his shoulder. I feel like I could depend on him, but only one person comes out alive and right now, I don't know if that can be me.

Peeta holds me until the wind starts to pick up, and he leads me downstairs to my room. He takes me to my door, kisses my forehead, and walks across the hall to his own room and slowly shuts the door behind him. I look at his door for a minute thinking over what he said and then shove mine open. I strip down and climb under the covers. Even though tomorrow starts the real nightmare, sleep the darkness of sleep pulls me under quickly.

I wake up the next morning slowly and for a minute, I forget the horrible that lies ahead of me. I stare at the ceiling trying to melt into the bed and never come out, but my prep team, burst through the door and ushers me out of bed. Thankfully, Cinna tells them to leave and it's just him and I. I take a quick shower and then dress in the brown pants, black shirt, and lace up the leather boots Cinna set out for me.

When I am changed, Cinna takes me up to the roof to board a hovercraft that will take me to the arena. I have a tracker imbedded in my arm, and we sit in silence until we're guided off the hovercraft and into the small launching room. Cinna forces me to eat some bread and drink two glasses of water.

Right before I enter the glass tube, Cinna puts a light jacket on my with my mockingjay pin attached. I take a seat on the small couch and focus on the lump from the tracker in my arm.

"Do you want to talk," Cinna asks me.

I shake my head no and wipe the sweat from my hands. A voice tells me its time to enter the tube. I shakily stand and Cinna wraps his arms around me.

"Remember what Haymitch said, and Katniss know that I am betting on you," he says, before I enter the tube. It seals shut and after a few seconds slowly rises up enveloping me in darkness.

The sudden bright light blinds me, but when my eyes finally do adjust, I am very hopeful. The arena is similar to my woods in 12. To one side a large lake and to the other dense woods, that is where I have to go. A countdown begins as I look around at the other tributes. Peeta is about five to my right. His gaze flickers over to the woods and then back to me. He wants me to run away, but not too far in front of me are some backpacks, and most importantly a sliver bow. I'm fast I could get there and towards the woods before anyone else gets me. I look back over at Peeta and he must be reading my thoughts because he shakes his head no, and looks back towards the woods. He isn't going to consider getting caught in the bloodbath, and I should do the same.

Soon the minute is up and Claudius Templesmith's voice booms, "Let the 74th Hunger Games begin!"

The gong rings and I take off towards the woods. I change my path slightly to grab a pack. As I am approaching the pack, the boy from nine reaches it too. I am preparing for a fight when his blood splatters on my face and I turn just as a knife goes whizzing by my head. The girl from two, Clove throws another but I stop it with my backpack. I turn and sprint hard until I am beyond the tree line. I don't hear anyone behind me, so I slow down to a jog.

I jog for a long time until I feel like I might pass out. I rest on a stump and go through my pack. I have one thin sleeping bag, crackers, dried beef strips, iodine, matches, and a plastic water bottle, no water. As I am putting, the contents back into the pack the first cannon fires. I count as they continue. When I get to twelve and the natural sounds of the woods resume, I assume that the bloodbath is over. I am suddenly afraid that one of those cannons might have been Peeta. I could have lost him already, and this thought scares me.

I push the thoughts out of my mind and focus on my next objective, water. The ground is moist and there is plenty of green, but I haven't seen any large sources since the lake.

I securely strap the pack around my back and find a tall tree. If I can get an over sight of the arena hopefully I could figure where it is turning downhill, possibly to a stream. I climb the large oak careful not to lose my footing. I get to the highest spot possible without the branches creaking under my weight. From my perch, I can see that the forest stretches on for what seems forever. I know it has to stop somewhere, but from here, I cannot tell where. I do notice a decline straight ahead of me, and I figure it's my best chance. I scamper back down the tree landing softly on my feet. My sweat is making my shirt cling to me, and I already feel my mouth getting dry. I need to find water today or I'm not going to be of any use.

I take a straight path down the slight incline and eventually I do cross with some small animals and I know I have to be close. I walk for two more hours until I need to stop and pee. I continue on my journey, and I can feel fatigue setting in. I use to be able to walk for hours without breaking a sweat, but not pregnant. I am about to cry or scream out in frustration when I finally see a small pond about twenty yards ahead of me.

I quickly take out the water bottle and iodine. I fill up the container, and put two drops of iodine in it. I shake the bottle of water; wait a minute before I start taking small sips. Refreshed, I look up at the sky, night will be falling soon. I can't sleep on the ground so I am going to have to risk sleeping high up in the canopy of trees. I fill the water bottle again, two more drops of iodine, and I look around for a tree.

I pick a large oak and start my ascent. About half way to the top, I find a very thick branch that will work perfectly. I get out the sleeping bag, and the rope. I pull the sleeping bag up to my waist and then tie the rope around my thighs. This way I won't fall out of the tree.

I settle against the trunk and start thinking about tomorrow. I will defiantly need to set up some snares for game. I don't want to dip into the food in my pack just yet, but I might have to soon. I also want to put some more distant between the others and me.

My rumbling stomach snaps me out of my thoughts. I look down at the belly and sigh. I have barely eaten and it looks bigger. I lift up my shirt and trace little circles off the bump. I haven't felt the baby move, but it feels strange touching my stomach. I still cannot wrap my head around that another human being is growing right under my hand. I rub my stomach some more, and then I remember the cameras. They are everywhere in the arena, and are probably loving this.

I sigh and pull down my shirt. I zip my jacket up to my throat and pull the hood over my head. No doubt, it's going to be a very cold night. I close my eyes and let the sounds of the woods lull me off to sleep.

I wake with a start later from the booming anthem. I rub my eyes just as the first face flashes across the sky, Glimmer. I guess being from District 1 did not help her at the bloodbath. The faces continue with both tributes from six, seven, and eight. One tribute died from the districts three, four, five, nine, and ten; none from eleven and twelve. I let out a sigh of relief Peeta has made it through day one. I wonder where he is, if he is alone or if he has some allies. I just hope he found some water and I hope I get to see him again before one of us dies.

_**Tell me what ya think! I don't plan on dragging the games out, because I feel like it will get boring! Next chapter will be up within the next two weeks! Thank you for reading and please review! **_


	4. Chapter 4: Found You

The next day I set some snares and manage to get a rabbit. I walk for probably three more miles until I settle in for another night in the tree. Half way through the night, I wake to the sound of the cannon. I look for a hovercraft and after a few moments, one appears a couple hundred yards away from me. I freeze and stay tight to the truck of the tree. I watch as the claw drops down and picks up the dead tribute. I relax some as the hovercraft disappears, but tense again as I hear voices approaching. I look down to my left and spot the career pack. Clove and Marvel are laughing at something Cato said, but then they stop and look behind them. I almost fall out of the tree when I see whom they are waiting for, Peeta.

"You sure you can find her," Cato asks Peeta.

"Yes I can find her, and I know she didn't go this way. She would stay close to the lake," Peeta states and I'm confused. He jut told them the last thing I would do. Why would you stay near the area that every tribute is familiar with, it's the fastest way to get killed. Peeta knows that I'm smarter then that. Is he trying to lead them in the wrong direction, I guess it would make sense for him to do that from what he told me the other night, but is he really going to stick to his word? I just hate how much Peeta confuses me! I can't tell if I can trust him, be his friend, or whatever else you call the father of your baby. I wish I could sort of my thoughts, and go with my gut, but I can't. The boy with the bread is unreadable to me.

There is a small argument between the three careers about whether to go the way Peeta suggested or not. Meanwhile, Peeta hangs back and seems to have sensed my gaze because his head snaps up in my direction. He must make me out because his face forms a concerned look and then focuses back on the other three arguing. Eventually they turn around from the way they came and what I'm assuming back towards the lake. I relax back into the sleeping bag and look back up at the sky that just showed the female from district 8. That means that ten there are left after day two.

He next morning I wake up; eat some left over rabbit and start on my way. At around noon I stop and have a small snack of water and dried beef. As I am munching on my food, I start to smell smoke. I glance over my shoulder and jump up. There is a wall of fire steadily moving towards me. It isn't natural either, this is the product of some sick Gamemakers imagination.

I throw all my supplies back into my pack and run as fast as I can away from the approaching blaze. I run straight, but soon the smoke and flames starts to surround me. I turn and run parallel with fire, but a tree falls in front of me, I brush my pant leg against it and have to smother the flames before I can continue. I can tell it has made some damage, but I can't stop now.

I make it to a clearing and see a stream up ahead. I run and plow right into the water, gulping some water to stop my coughing. I soak my hair find that some of it has burnt off. I take in my surroundings and start to hear loud voices. I see Marvel and the rest of the Career pack running towards me.

I stumble of the pond and limp away from the approaching pack. I won't be able to lose them on foot so I have to go up. I find a tall tree with thin branches and climb as fast as possible. I go as high as I can while the careers circle the bottom of the tree. Cato tries to climb, but ends up just falling on his back. All of them are too heavy to make it to me, so I am safe for now.

"Why don't you just give up," I tease Cato as he brushes the leaves off his jacket. This sets him off and he takes the bow from Clove, knocks back an arrow. He firers and the arrows sticks about ten feet above my head. He throws the bow and quiver twenty feet into the brush cursing.

"Why don't we just wait her out? It's going to be dark so anyway," Peeta, suggest. Well he did buy me some time, but I don't know how I make my escape with them camping at the base of the tree.

Cato thinks this over. "Alright we'll wait," he says.

They all split into setting up a fire and settling down for the night.

I sit with my back against the trunk and access the damage to my leg. The burn is about four inches wide and six inches long. It's already blistering, and when I pour some water on it I have to hold back my scream.

"Haymitch I need something," I mumble and look up at the sky. If I don't get some kind of medication I won't be able to walk.

Almost instantly, a parachute appears and lands in the tree. I pull myself up next to it. I open the container and find a cream. I rub some on the burn and relief is immediate. "Thank you," I whisper and finish applying the cream. I find a more comfortable spot and hunker down for the sleepless night. Two faces flash in the sky that night the girl from 4 and the boy from 10 marking fifteen dead. These games are moving quickly.

I feel my eyelids starting to get heavy when I hear my name whispered rather loudly. I look down to the other side of the tree and see Peeta motioning for me to come down. I look down at the sleeping Careers. This is a moment where I will find out if he is really being loyal or a backstabbing jerk, I go with the hopes the Peeta really is as good as he seems, and I climb down to talk to him.

"Grab the bow and run," he whispers and looks from me back to Cato. "Just go and don't look back. I'll fight him if he wakes up. Just go."

"Why are you with them," I ask.

"To protect you," he says, "now go before they wake up. Please just go."

I take his advice and creep over towards the bow. I sling the quiver over my shoulder and just as I am about to run away I notice that Cato is no longer lying on the ground. "Peeta," I yell just as Cato raises his sword above his head. Peeta blocks it with his spear and tries to knock Cato off his feet.

"Go," he yells at me and I hesitate before taking off away from him and the other careers. When I look back I can just make out Clove and Marvel getting up to see what was going happening.

I make it back to the small pond where I was the other day when I stop to rest just as the sun is rising. As I am applying more cream, I notice a large figure I above me. I look up and spot her dark hair from behind a canopy of leaves.

"Rue," I whisper and I she moves from out behind the leaves. "I'm not going to hurt you. Do you need help," I ask and move towards her tree.

"I got burned in the fire," she says and holds up her right arm. "I haven't seen anything to help burns either."

"I have some burn cream. I can help you," I offer. She looks at me for a minute deciding to trust me or not, and then climbs down the tree. I get out the container with the cream and give it to her as soon as her feet touch the ground. She takes a small amount and puts it on the blistered burn. It looks just like mine did yesterday.

She smiles when it starts to work. "Thank you," she sighs and I motion for her to take more.

"You need it," I encourage her and she takes a larger amount. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Almost two days ago I ran out of dried fruit."

"I have some rabbit and now that I have a bow I could get another in an hour or so. How about we help each other for awhile," I suggest.

"Okay," she answers.

"I'll be right back," I say.

I walk fifty yards away from where I found her and start to tune into the sounds of the forest. I manage another rabbit and head back to Rue. She has a small fire going and I start to skin and the gut my kill. We cook the meat and then feast on dried beef and rabbit. I sit back against the fallen tree and Rue just stares at me.

"Is it true," she whispers. I raise my eyebrow at her.

"What is?"

"That you're pregnant," she states like it's most obvious answer.

"Yeah," I sigh. "I don't look like it, but I really am."

"How far along are you?" She ask me and I have to do some math in my head.

"Probably ten weeks," I say. She nods and picks some more meat off the bones of our meal.

"What about you and 'him'," she grins. I have to roll my eyes again.

"Yeah that too," I try to hide the blush but it doesn't go unnoticed by her. "How are we going to stop the careers?" I ask her to change the subject.

"Well they have all their supplies piled up by the lake," she says.

"Do they have anyone guarding it while they are out hunting us?"

"They just have the boy from 3," shrugs. We talk some more and eventually come up with a plan. She will create a distraction while I take out the supplies.

That night, we find an ideal tree and share the sleeping bag and I haven't realized how much I have missed human contact. Sharing the sleeping bag with Rue reminds me of the nights when Prim would have nightmares and sleep closer to me. It also makes me think that I will never have to comfort my own child. I will never get to hold them. My hand drifts down to my stomach as I think of all the things I will never get to do with my child. Getting pregnant wasn't in my plans, but now that the Capitol is taking my unborn baby away from me I feel robbed. I have some desire to meet my baby, but then there is the chance that my baby could end up in the same position I'm in now twelve years from now, and the desire fades slightly. I never want my child to suffer, and I don't know if winning games will help that.

At the break of dawn, we set off with our plan, gathering large green branches for the fires, and then my long hike to the lake. I go to the spot Rue told me about and I get a perfect view of the Careers camp. I notice the turned up dirt around the pile of supplies. They set up a trap of what I don't know. As I'm waiting for the first fire to light I watch Foxface take a certain route. She takes two apples, and then takes the same route safely away from the camp. The Careers never notice and take off running when they see the smoke from the first fire. I wait and then step out into the clearly and take aim at the bag of apples. The first shot rips the bag, then the second arrow makes the apples go rolling down the side of pile, and when two hit the ground, the whole thing blows up.

I'm thrown back and I brace my fall with my arms and land roll onto my back. I have to keep moving or the Careers will surely kill me now. I stumble through the woods until I manage to find my way back to the third and final fire. It hasn't been lit. I know something is wrong when I whistle her four-note tune and I get no response.

"Rue," I call out and only hear a scream in return. I run towards the screaming and find Marvel holding Rue by the throat with a knife to her stomach.

"Little late," Marvel says before plunging the knife into to her stomach and then ripping it out. He barely has time to blink before I shoot him through the temple. He falls and I run over and catch Rue. I slowly lay her down and place her head in my lap. With her clutching my hand, I softly whisper sweet nothings to her that really means nothing now. I can tell she is fading and I start to sing the valley song. When I finish the finale verse, her hand goes slack. I carefully zip up her jacket and place her hands on her side. Once I close her eyelids, I lose it. I scream and cry. I manage to pick some wild flowers and place them in her hands and I make sure that she gets the best burial she can get.

As I am walking away from the dead bodies, I turn and face where I know a camera is watching. I bring my three middle fingers to my lips and raise them towards Rue, District good-bye to someone I loved that didn't deserve to die, was killed because of where she was born and who runs this horrible country, the same one that my own child might be born into and might die at the hands of. I feel so helpless that this damn government is has and is trying too to take away my father, my mother, my sister's childhood, and thousands of innocent children.

I continue to weep and sob until I throw up, and then slowly laying on a soft bed of moss I drift off to sleep.

I wake up sometime late in the afternoon to the voice of Claudius Templesmith. "Attention tributes. There has been a rule change. If two tributes originate from the same district, they both can be crowned victors."

"Peeta," I yell before I register what I'm saying. I have to find him. I could never leave him to die. I may not know what I feel for him, but I want him to be safe and make it back to District is probably still hurt from Cato; I just hope it isn't too bad. I go towards where I know he would be far away from the camp, but close to water. I get to the stream and find a blood trail. I can tell someone tried to clean it up. I keep following the trail, but then it stops.

I look around for anything as I am about to give up I hear, "don't step on me."

I look down and right next to my boot and Peeta. He has camouflaged himself to blend into the boulder. I bend down and gather him into a hug. "Thank goodness I found you," I mumble letting the waves of relief wash over me.

"How are you, the baby," he croaks.

"We're fine, much better that I found you," I admit. "Let's get you cleaned up."

I help Peeta roll into the stream, and then I start to peel off his mud-crusted clothes. When he is just in his underwear, I wash his shirt and pants and let them on the rocks to dry.

"I guess I should just rinse everything, do you think you could get those off," I ask him motioning to his boxers. He raises his eyebrows at me. I guess he doesn't expect Katniss Everdeen to be comfortable with taking his clothes off. "It's not like I haven't seen it before," I mumble.

"True," he says and I notice how hot his face gets while he pulls them down to his knees, and I have to pull them all they way off. He covers his with my jacket while I work out the rest of the mud, I think back to the last night I did see him naked. The Spring Festival was something that the district had to celebrate making it through another winter. It was late May and the weather has been wonderful to hunt, but Prim forced me to go to the festival when I could have been in the woods. Anyway I went for her, to make her happy. I danced with Prim, and at some point during the later hours, the punch was spiked and I didn't notice. Never having one sip of alcohol before I didn't know the difference anyway, stupid on my part. I got tipsy before I realized it and some how ended up dancing with Peeta. He was a horrible dancer. I laughed when he stepped on my feet during the slow songs and the fast songs his feet tangled together and he fell flat on his face.

When the music was over we started walking towards the meadow, and the next thing I remember we were kissing and then running deeper into the meadow away from the path and then clothes were lost, and I never once said to stop. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't stop myself. I remember how any of it was. I just remember waking up a couple hours naked spooned against his back, pulling my clothes back on and stumbling home. I avoided him since, and was hoping that nothing would come of it, but then I was getting sick, my cycle was late, and I counted the weeks and then I figured out I was pregnant.

I take his socks out of the stream and lay them out on the rocks to dry. I check is pants and shirt and they are dry. I help him get back into them before I look at his leg. The rip in his pant leg should prepare me for the wound, but it doesn't. I get one good look at the gash and I lose the little food I had in my stomach. I rinse out my mouth and turn back to Peeta.

"That bad," he asks.

"No, this kid makes me sick all the time," I mumble and hold breath as I examine his injury.

It is bright red around the cut, and his leg is very swollen. It looks badly infected. I take a shaky breath and sit back on my heels.

"We need to move somewhere that will give us cover. Lets get you fully dressed and then we will move," I instruct him.

Once he has all his clothes on, I scope the any and find a small cave about twenty yards from our position. I help Peeta stand up and end up half dragging him to the entrance of the cave. I lay out the sleeping bag and get him settle while I work on some dinner outside the cave. Once we eat, we just sit in silence trying to figure out our next move. I do think to but some of my burn cream in his leg for inflammation, but my healing skills that's as far as I get.

"Katniss," he whispers.

"Yes Peeta."

"If… I don't make it," he starts but I cut him off.

"Don't even say it, Peeta. You are not leaving me now. I don't know how, but I'm not losing you."

"Okay, but you can please just come here," he begs. I set down my bow and lay down next to him. With my head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped around, I listen to his steady heartbeat and pray that it never stops.

We both fall asleep, but awake to the anthem and I stick my head out of the opening of the cave in time to see Marvel's face, the boy from three, and I return to Peeta before they show Rue. He opens his arms for me, and I snuggle against him. I haven't had anyone hold me like this since my father died, and I haven't felt this safe in anyone arms since either.

He plays with the end of my braid, and when I feel myself slipping in unconsciousness of sleep, I feel his hand slowly move down to my stomach. He places his big hand over the slight roundness; he takes a sharp breath in and says "wow."

I open one eye and look at the look of awe on his face. "What is it?"

"It's just…its there. I didn't think you were showing or anything, but I can feel it," he says with amazement.

"Yeah, it's small but there. Actually my pants feel tighter everyday," I sigh and reach down and unbutton the top button of my pants. I let out a deep breath and instantly realize how much pressure was on my stomach. "Much better," I say and I feel like my stomach doubles in size without my pants holding it in.

"Those were really holding you back," he grins; I roll my eyes and put my head back on chest.

"Just get some rest."

"Okay," he whispers and kisses the top of my forehead. His touch lingers with pleasant heat that I have never experienced before; I lift my head off his chest and place my hand under his chin so I can look him in the eyes. I slowly close the distance between our lips and gently meet his for what feel likes the first time, but its not. The kiss is quick and very surprising, but it lights me up, and I'm craving more. It's the strongest feeling I have ever had before, and I can't tell if I like it or not.

Peeta doesn't say anything in his daze state, but lets me get readjusted in his arms.

The next morning I check Peeta's leg, and notice that the swelling has gone down, but now it has some oozy stuff coming out of the cut and the redness was turning some strange color. I had hard time holding down my breakfast. He also had started a fever. I put him in the sleeping bag and use a piece of my shirt as a rag to wipe his forehead. He is battling to stay awake.

"Just go to sleep Peeta. I'll be alright," I encourage him and kiss his cheek. He nods slightly and then turns on his side.

I take watch at the mouth of the cave looking back at Peeta every occasionally. I can see him physically shaking from my post, and I know I need to do something. I need a sponsor to send us something.

"I need something Haymitch," I mumble to myself, but this time nothing comes. I know he has to have some sponsors for us. He probably wants me to work for it. I take a deep breath and go to back to Peeta's side. I gently rouse him and he smiles when he sees me.

"How are you feeling," I ask him and feel his forehead. It's still too hot.

"I could be worse."

"Well, I wont allow you to get any worse so that's good." He smiles at me and his hand finds the end of my braid.

"Did I ever tell you the first time I saw you," he says.

"No"

"Well it was the first day of school. You had two braids in your hair, and in music class, you sang the valley song in front of the whole class, and from that day on, I always would watch you. I watched you walk to and from the Seam every day. I watched you and Prim stare at the cakes in the front window. I wanted to talk to you every time I saw you, but I never had the courage too. I should have just said hi."

"Peeta that doesn't matter now, what matters you getting better so we can all go home." I state firmly and the corners of his mouth twitch up slightly at my mind set.

"I'll do my best to make sure that it happens."

"Good because in a couple months someone else is going to need you too," I whisper and start thinking about what would happen if I did go home without him, if he did die in this arena, and I had the baby without him. I have to swallow the lump in my throat and suppress the feelings. This baby will know it's father. I know what its like to not have one, and its one of the worst things in the world. I could have everything in the world, but something is always missing.

Peeta places his hand on the back of neck, and I met him halfway in another kiss. This time I don't pull away. I let it go deeper and longer. As it gets more intense, I feel something in my stomach ignite and it heats me up. I keep kissing him, and I realize that I never want to stop. I feel his hand creep up the front of my shirt and his fingers leave a trail of fire behind them. His touch makes me feel alive. I have to physically pull myself off him so we don't go farther.

Even though he doesn't feel well, I have never seen him smile so bright. I think I just made Peeta Mellark the happiest person in the world.

"I love you Katniss," he admits and I feel like I might be sick. We are defiantly on camera right now and everyone will be waiting for response. I have trained myself to never love anyone else so I can't find any words to respond.

"I don't know what to say to that," I whisper and he takes my hand, slowly rubbing circles on my palm with his thumb. "There's just some much going on and I can't think straight when I'm around you," I explain and he just grins.

"That's fine, you being here is enough for me," he says and I know he is telling the truth. He never expected me to return his I love you. He is just happy that I'm here with him.

I give him another kiss and as soon as we pull apart a large parachute lands outside the cave. I jump up and run over to our gift. I open the package and inside the package are broth, bread, and some fever pills. Also, a note that says, '_Nice job Sweetheart-H'. _I guess I put on a good show for everyone, but I wasn't acting for that at all.

I give Peeta the broth and pills. He already looks better by the time the sun is setting, but his leg still needs attention. Right before we fall asleep we hear this announcement, "Tomorrow there will be a feast at the Cornucopia, you all need something and we are going to be very generous guest."

"You are not going," Peeta says to me.

"I have to go or you are going to die. I am not letting you die Peeta. I will be fine," I snap and stand up gathering my things for the long hike back to the cornucopia. I will take me the night to get there and I want to get back as soon as possible. "Please just trust me."

"I can't let you go," he argues but I just shake my head no.

"Let me do this, please it is better for all of us," I plead and I know I got him.

"If you get hurt I will never forgive myself," he says.

"I know, but you won't be alive long enough to stew in it," I grumble. "I'm going."

"Fine," he says flat**l**y. I give him a small peck on the lips. "I love you."

"Save it for when I come back," I counter and leave the cave before he argue some more.

I make it to the Cornucopia just as the sun peaks over the tops of the trees. I take coverage behind some brush and try to work out my next move. I know that I'm not alone, but I have no idea where they would be. It will be messy either way so I should just sprint grab what I came for, and sprint out.

I wait until the ground splits open and slowly a table rises up with four bags sitting on top, each with the district numbers on them. I take one-step out of my cover and freeze as the girl from district five dashes out from inside the cornucopia, grab her bag and sneaks back off into the tree line. Not only does she look like fox, but she is smart like one too. I should have made a solid plan for when to attack, not just hide and wing it.

I have to go now, with one deep breathe I take off for the table. I get there grab the bag numbered twelve and turn back to the woods, but I stop dead in my tracks. Clove flings a knife at my head and I duck under it, load an arrow and fire, just missing her. She starts to charge me, and I get off to more shots both missing. Right before she can tackle me to the ground, the boy from eleven clothes lines her and slams her on the ground. I stand stunned at what I'm watching. Clove screams and claws at his arm, but she is no match.

Thresh turns and looks at me and says," This is for Rue." With that, he takes Clove by the throat and with one blow to the head cannon fires in the distance.

I stumble backwards away from him in a daze; I can't believe that he just saved my life. He just killed her for me. I jog halfway back to the cave before I stop wheezing against a tree. I have to get back to Peeta. He needs this more then anything. I force myself to keep going. Finally, as the sun is dropping lower in the sky I make it back to the cave. Crawl down next to a sleeping Peeta, take the syringe of medicine, and stab him in the arm. I just stay conscious enough to see Peeta's blue eyes flutter open, and then I can only remember darkness.

I slowly wake up with the feeling of something hold me down. I my eyes open and the brightness hurts my head. I close my eyes again, but I hear my name. I open my eyes finally able to see that Peeta has him arms wrapped tightly around me, and is whispering my name. "Peeta," I croak and crane my neck to look behind me.

Peeta's eyes are red and puffy probably from crying, but he looks much better then the last time I saw him. He smiles down at me and crashes his lips onto mine. I relax into him, but then pull away. "What happened?"

"I woke up after you gave me the medicine, and then you passed out," his voice wavering. "I didn't know if you ever were going to wake up."

I find his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. "How long was I out?"

"You have been passed out for almost a day."

"I'm sorry, but are you feeling better. Did the medicine work?"

"Yeah, the fever is gone and my leg is starting to heal. Look at it," he says moving his leg so I can get a look at the now healing wound. It lost all redness and now is a thin line. "We could win this," he whispers. "We could go home."

"Together," I add.

"All together," he smiles and places his large hand over my stomach. I smile too and give him another kiss.

"Tomorrow lets regroup and then figure out how we are going to win," I state and lean my head on his shoulder.

"Sounds perfect," he mumbles and kisses the top of my head.

The next day we start by seeing how Peeta's leg is with walking, and after he walks for a couple minutes, I hunt and he purifies water. We work together making a small fire to roast my kills and I make tea with some pine needles. We stay mostly silent, but in a very comfortable silence. The only thing disrupting our day is when Peeta finds some nightlock. I tell Peeta how dangerous they are, but it doesn't stop me from taking a handful and storing them away in my jacket. Maybe Cato will misidentify them too.

It has to be the most relaxed I have been in weeks. Focusing on the simple tasks and then moving onto the bigger one, winning. I have hope, but I know the Capitol could still take all of it away in the blink of an eye. However, it doesn't stop me from clinging onto the dream of making it out of here alive with Peeta still by my side. We have come too far for only one if us to come out.

That night there are no faces in the sky, and when I settle next to Peeta I can only feel dread. We will have to leave the safety of our cave and face the rest of the tributes. I wish we could just stay right here together. No one can hurt us and no one else has to die. I'm so sick of death I just want to go home without anyone dying, but it doesn't work like that.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when I feel Peeta undo my braid and runs his fingers through my hair. He carefully combs out the knots and his fingers make me melt. I lean into his side a little more and soon I am fast asleep.

The sounds of birds rouse me from my deep sleep, and when I look up, I am surprised to see Peeta looking down at me. He has dark bags under his eyes, and he looks like he hasn't slept at all.

"Did you sleep?" I ask.

"No," he answers. "I wanted to keep watch just encase," he explains and I know there is nor arguing. Now that is he healthy I have no doubt that he will do anything and everything to make sure I am all right.

"Peeta you need to-," I start but am cut off by the sound of a cannon. I look at Peeta and he frowns at the sound. "That means there are only four of us left."

"Yeah, we should get some more water and then keep moving," he suggests and I nod in agreement.

We gather our things and head to the stream, but to our dismay, we only find the dry riverbed. "Must have drained it over night," he mumbles.

"Yeah and they seem to have cranked up the heat too," I say wiping the sweat off my forehead. "We need to find one of those small ponds, and if they are dry we will have to go to the lake."

"Lead the way, Katniss."

Like I suspected all the ponds are bone dry too. They are corralling us to the lake. Get us in a small area and force us to fight, no more hiding in these games.

Peeta and I hike to the lake and I find no signs of anyone. We sit on the far side of the lake with us facing the woods and our backs to the lake. We listen for anything, but all we hear is silence. I re-braid my hair and we munch on our left over food. I highly doubt that we will need it after today. Either we die today or we leave this arena.

Just I am about to ask Peeta what we should do there is another cannon; there are only three of us left. Then out of the trees burst someone running straight towards us. We both jump and I load my bow. As they get closer I can tell its Cato, but he has no interest in us. He brushes right by us, and goes to the cornucopia, climbing on top as fast as he can. I give Peeta a questioning look, but all my questions are answered when the mutts come crashing out of the brush.

I start running towards the cornucopia pulling Peeta behind me. The mutts are nipping at our heels as we get to the base of cornucopia. I throw my bow up and then Peeta gives me a boost, and once I am up I turn and help pull he up too. The mutts jump and claw at his feet. Just as I am about to pull him to safety, one of the smaller mutts jumps and gets one good lash at his leg. I can see the blood trickle down his leg as I pull him the rest of the way and he collapse next to me onto the metal horn. We both lie there trying to catch our breath, but then Cato grabs Peeta by the shoulders and puts him into a head lock. I roll over and grab my bow. I knock back and arrow and aim for Cato's head but I know that if I shoot him, they both will fall down to the awaiting mutts.

Peeta looks at me with pleading eyes as Cato talks, "I can easily do this. Make your choice girl on fire."

I watch as Peeta taps the back of Cato's hand, and I get the idea. I fire at his hand and Cato loosens his grip just enough for Peeta to wiggle free and push him over the edge. I hear Cato hit the ground and the mutt's growls and snarls grow louder as they attack. I rush over to Peeta and look down at the frenzy. The wolf creatures I notice are each a little different. Some have brown hair and some have lighter hair. It's not until the one with a number five on the collars makes eye contact that I know that these are the tributes. Each one represents one of the fallen. I stumble away from the edge and into Peeta's chest. He wraps his arms around me as Cato's cries fill the air. I don't know how long we stand there and listen to his agony before I can't take it any more. I pick up my bow, and once I get a clear shot I end Cato's suffering.

We both stand in stunned silence. We did it we won, but there is no hovercraft, no music. What are they doing? Peeta's leg is bleeding profusely he is losing to much blood what are they waiting for.

With the late afternoon sun glistening off the metal horn we both slide down the side and once our feet touch the ground the announcement happens.

"The pervious rule change has been revoked. Only one can be crowned winner."

I turn to Peeta defeated. They have done it again, completely ruined everything. I have allowed myself to let my guard down and now one of us has to die. Well, that won't happen.

I throw down my bow and arrows, and stand mere inches from Peeta. "They can't do this us," I state firmly and reach into my jacket pocket for the nightlock. I push some into Peeta's hand, he looks down at them and I clamp my hand over his. "Please trust me."

"No, you have the baby to think about. Are you willing to kill her too just because of me?"

"I am not leaving this damn arena without you Peeta. Please trust me they either get two winners or none."

"Please-," he argues but I cut him off.

"No Peeta, now on three. One," I whisper and look at his eyes. I can see tears willing up clouding the crystal blue, but we have to do this. They will not win. "Two," I admire the feeling of him playing with the tail of my braid. I give him a small kiss.

"I love you Katniss," he whispers.

I take one deep breath. "Three." We both take the berries to our mouth and right as we about to swallow our death Claudius Templesmith's voices yells.

"No stop, may I present to you the victors of the 74th Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!"

_**All right, I made this a very long chapter, but I want to move onto more interesting things! I do hope you all enjoyed! The next chapter will start moving towards Catching Fire, but the six months the books skipped, I will not be skipping! I will be back within the next two weeks! **_


	5. Chapter 5: Heading Home

I barely comprehend anything besides that I get to go home. I wrap my arms around Peeta, he squeezes back, but it turned into me holding him up. He has lost a lot of blood and he needs help now.

"Peeta stay with me," I plead and bury my head into the crook of his neck.

"Always," he gasps.

I don't hesitate to grab onto the ladder leading to the hovercraft. I hold onto Peeta like a vice, his face pale and he is fighting to stay conscious. We're both pulled up into the hovercraft and people in white uniforms rip me away from Peeta. I have to stay with him. I claw on the strong arms holding me back, and scream Peeta's name. They lay his limp body on a rolling cot and when the large door closes him out of my view, I stop fighting. The guards lead me to another small room, and I don't even realize that they have taken off my clothes when I feel the soft cotton grown tied around my neck. I'm taken to a large tiled room, and instructed to take off the gown. I'm then bathed in sweet smelling soap and warm water. The water going down the drain is brown, and I'm rinsed multiple times.

I'm then dressed in another gown, and lead back to the small room again. I lie down on the bed and watch as the doctor pulls up my gown to expose my stomach. I'm shocked to see that my bump is actually a bump. It gives me some relief that the baby is still growing. I hadn't even thought of how great the risk of me losing the baby in the arena was until now. I'm surprised that I haven't had any complications yet. Between not eating enough and running around dehydrated, it's kind of fascinating that my baby is still hanging on.

As I start to add up all the things that could have done damage to the baby, the doctor rubs some blue gel on my stomach and then takes a white plastic wand and starts moving it over my stomach. I'm suddenly so nervous and worried about the baby, so when a strange sound fills the room and that doctor smiles at me, I'm very confused.

"What-," I start but am cut off when a picture appears on the wall across from me. I have never seen anything like this before, but I think I know. It looks like a little creature with what I think looks like a head and maybe arms. "Is that my baby," I wonder aloud to myself and the doctor answers with a smile.

"Yes your healthy twelve week old baby. Their weight is a little on the low side, but no need to worried," she tells me and wipes the gel off my stomach.

I stare at the ceiling and start to think about what we happen next. The baby is alive, and healthy. The weight can be very easily explained from the fact I haven't ate much in a couple weeks, and I don't get very far with my thinking, because I feel a slight pinch in my arm and then nothing but darkness.

I jolt up in my bed, but all the wires attached to my arms pull me down. I try to move, but I feel something cool injected into my arm and darkness consumes me again. The next time I wake, there are no wires in my arms slowly I sit up. I must be in some sort of hospital in the training center. I highly doubt they would take their precious victors anywhere else. There is a small bowl of oatmeal next to my bed. I take the bowl hesitantly and eating it as slowly as possible. This has to be the first thing I have eaten since getting out of the arena, and who knows how long that has been. It might have been days or weeks.

As I raise the spoon I notice that all my scars form the back of my hands are gone, even the ones from hunting through out the years have been wiped clean. Even the smallest cuts have disappeared. It scares me that they have some medicine to take away all my marks from hunting, some I have had for years and they took them away in an instant, another way that the Capital has changed me.

I'm startled when the large door slides over, and Haymitch walks in followed by Cinna. Haymitch sits down in the chair next to my bed, and props his boots up on my bed.

"How you and the cub doing," he slurs, taking the flask out his coat pocket.

"Fine, I guess. What are you doing here," I grumble and cross my arms over my chest.

"Cinna is here to make you all pretty for the re-watching thing tonight, and I just want to remind you to be careful out there, and be your ever so charming self," he says sarcastically and shuffles out of the room.

"How's Peeta," I ask hopeful that Cinna will tell me the truth.

"He's fine," he says with a bit of hesitation, "now let's get you out of this bed."

Cinna takes me to the twelfth floor and gets me back to beauty base zero. The only thing I can think of is how he vague he was with his answer about Peeta. If is really is fine why make it seem like he isn't? Just tell me and then move on! Why do people feel the need to hide stuff from me, and then make me figure it out on my own?

I can continue to rant and worry about Peeta as he applies some light make up, and makes my hair into lose curls that float down past my shoulders. He pulls out a pale pink dress and now I understand what angle he is going for.

"Trying to make me look innocent?" I ask and raise my eyebrows at him, Cinna chuckles.

"More like pure," he explains and helps me into the dress.

"Well I'm not what you call pure," I mutter and motion to the small bump. Cinna shakes his head.

"In the Capitol's eyes you are," he says and hands me a sliver pair of flats. "What do you think?"

As always, Cinna has turned me into something of beauty. The light pink dress is knee length, with a sash tied under my larger bust line, and then flows down the rest of the way. I turn slightly and the light catches the smalls gems scattered across the skirt.

"Thank you it's beautiful," I admit, Cinna just waves me off with his hand.

"Just doing my job," he says humbly and leads me out of the room, and down the hall towards the elevator, alone.

I'm surprised that Effie or Haymitch isn't here with Peeta or his stylist. I figured they would get him ready here too. I can't shake the nagging feeling that something is wrong. Why would they make us wait until days after the games to see each other? Probably some act set up by Haymitch to make us seem so desperate for each other.

Cinna takes me to the same place where we did the interviews before the games. To watch the recaps we will do it in the city circle, and tomorrow we will do our final interview, and then back to twelve. It's strange to think that within the next three days I could be back home with Prim and my mother.

Cinna leaves me on the side of the stage and tells me to walk out after Cesar announces our names. I wait impatiently taping foot. I can count on re-watching the games will be dreadful, but I keep reminding myself that Peeta will be there too, and that makes me feel better.

After an eternity, I hear Caesar Flickerman come out on stage with his very flamboyant personality, first he calls my name and I have to force my feet to move from out of the side wing. The bright lights blind me, but I put on my best smile and wave to the crowd. I easily spot Cinna sporting his encouraging smile pushing me on. The applause is so loud I don't hear Peeta's name announced and for some reason my heart leaps into my throat when I see him. He looks so much better then when I last say him, full of life, and not dying. I can't stop myself from half running into his arms. I hit him so hard I almost knock him over, and then I notice the cane.

"Why do you have a cane?" I press, while holding him in a tight embrace.

"Leg is still hurting," he whispers back into my ear. He pulls back and places a kiss on the top of my head. "Let's get this over with."

We both go to the small couch and I can't help but notice Peeta very significant limp. I entwine my fingers through his and sit tight to his side. With his hair slicked back, he looks very handsome and his blue suit goes well with my dress.

I avoid talking or making comments throughout and when it comes to Rue, I bury my face in Peeta's chest to hide the tears. I can't stand thinking about her. I'm afraid that if Caesar ask me a question I will snap and bite his head off. During the recap I do notice that they cut out the part with me picking the wildflowers and go right to when I call out Peeta's name. When the part replays when I yell his name, Peeta looks at me with a look of awe and kisses my forehead. I feel my cheeks heat up and I can't meet his gaze. The coward makes some 'awes' and gushy sounds that make we want to puke.

Finally when they get to the part of when the hovercraft pulls us up Caesar starts talking about Peeta's leg.

"I'm sure it must be a hard adjustment," Cesar starts and I am utterly confused. What's hard about adjusting to your own leg?

I don't bother to ask what happened. I just reach down and pull up his left pant leg, and instead of flesh, its metal. I can feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes. He lost his leg because I didn't pull him up fast enough. I'm also enraged that I wasn't told before this.

"You didn't know?" Cesar says pointing out the obvious.

"No," I croak and Peeta wraps his arm around me. I try to control my breathing so I don't breakdown in front of the whole country, but a few tears do slip out.

When the recap is finished, we're ordered to stand as President Snow walks out for the crowning. I'm holding onto Peeta's hand so tight, that I think I might break his fingers off, but he doesn't mind.

A podium rises up from the stage and rest one crown. I'm frozen scared that he will refuse to crown both of us, and some how one of us is going to die right here on this stage, but President Snow twist the single crown, and it turns into two. I breathe a little easier as Snow sets the first crown on top of Peeta's head and gives him a firm handshake. When the president comes towards me, I can't get past the looks in his eyes. All the hate and loathing that I see in his eyes gives me a warning that we have messed up.

"Your district must be very proud of you Miss Everdeen," he says with an edge in his voice.

"I would like to think so Mr. President," I reply coolly with a smile. He gives me a smile in return, but it looks more like a grimace.

He turns back to the crowd says something else and then walks back off the stage. We're ushered off soon after, and when we get to the elevators a man in a black suit is waiting there.

"Excuse me Miss Everdeen you have to come with me," he says and I can feel Peeta tense next to me, and when I try to let go of his hand, he holds mine tighter.

"Where too," Peeta ask him.

"President Snow would like to speak to her, now," he says and I look up at Peeta.

"Just wait for me in my room," I whisper, and he lets go of my hand.

I follow the man down multiple carpeted hallways until we get to two large wooden doors. He pushes one open and motions for me to walk inside. I enter the room, and I can smell the President before I see him. The fake rose mixed blood makes me want to be sick. I breathe through my mouth and sit down in the chair across from his.

"Katniss I must say you did a wonderful job tonight," he says. "I must congratulate you on your pregnancy too; I'm surprised that you did so well in the games considering your condition."

"Thank you," I say barely above a whisper. "What was it you wanted to speak to me about?"

"Well you see, you and Peeta both making it out of the arena alive was a mistake. There are many reasons for only one victor to make it out, and technically three made it. This could result in problems for both of us, and I just wanted to make sure you and I were on the same page. You need to understand that you and Peeta will be watched very closely, as the 'star-crossed lovers'. I have noticed that you and Peeta have different ideas about your relationship. You didn't pull out those berries for love. Some viewed that act as rebellious," he says pointedly.

"There aren't any differences, and it was for love," I say but he cuts me off.

"Don't lie to me. The Capitol people might be fast to fall for your lies, but I am not. None of your promises or excuses will make me believe your love for that boy. You must show me, and make me see what they do. If you do not prove to me that, you are indeed in love with that boy. I will make certain arrangements for your child, that I assure you will not like. Are we clear?"

"Yes," I hiss through gritted teeth.

"Good you are dismissed," he says and waves for the suited man to take me back to my room.

When I get to the twelfth floor, I ignore Haymitch and Effie. I have to talk to Peeta alone. I go to my room and find him sitting on my bed as I asked him too. I make sure the door's locked before I walk over to him.

"What did the President want," he asks me.

"He wants me to prove that I love you," I croak with tears welling up in my eyes.

"Oh," is all Peeta says in response.

"He also said that if I don't prove to him that it wasn't an act. He'll kill the baby."

"Well it wasn't all an act right?" Peeta says.

"Some of it was real Peeta, I swear to you it was. I do really care about you."

"I guess then we get to be a family," he says as if it really is that simple.

I don't know how to answer him. I excuse myself and change in the bathroom. The dress is suddenly suffocating me I need to breathe. I change into some nice loser clothing and splash some cold water on my face.

Now what do I do? I have to prove to President Snow that I love Peeta, but I don't know how! I can't say I love Peeta like he does me, but I do know that I care for him. I know that he makes me feel safe and stable, something I haven't felt in the longest time. I also know that I will need him. I can't raise a child on my own, and I'm certainly not going to raise a child without the father deeply involved. I want Peeta to be there too. I really do, I just hate the feeling of not doing it on our own terms. I hate how I will have to prove it to others. I need time to sort out my life. I have to think about preparing for a baby and a relationship seems like the last thing to worry about. Something could've formed over time between us, but now me not being crazy in love could result in the lose of my child. If I just act as if I love him dearly in front of cameras, and we are only friends when we are alone it could work. If he can just be friends it will give me time, and save the baby.

I shuffle out of the bathroom and sit down next to Peeta on the edge of the bed. I can feel him waiting for my answer, but I don't know what to say. I don't make eye contact with him, I stare at my feet hopelessly waiting for something to break the silence.

"I can't read your mind Katniss," he sighs and places his hand on my lower back, slowly rubbing circles working out all my tension from stress.

"I know…," I mumble. "I don't know what my feelings are towards you, but I need to prove that it wasn't all an act. Right now, I just need us to be friends when we are alone, but in front of the cameras, I guess I will have to act. I wish I didn't have to, but I need to for now."

"I'm sorry too, but we need to protect the baby," he says. "If you need anything I'll be right across the hall," he tells me and pulls me tighter to his side. I relish in his warmth, and the feeling of steadiness he brings to me in every situation. Too soon, he pulls away and lets me sitting alone in my room.

I climb under covers and try to sleep, but I can't. No matter how many blankets I curl up in, I'm still cold. I can't repaying the conversation with Snow over and over in my head. I won't be able to fall asleep like this. I know the one thing that will help is Peeta. Now that I think about it, this will be the first night I haven't slept with Peeta. I miss his arms keeping me safe. I miss how his heartbeat would lull me to sleep, and I'm afraid of what nightmares might haunt me tonight.

I slowly creep out of my bed and across the hall. Surprisingly, Peeta's door is cracked. I knock lightly and then enter. Peeta is sitting with his back against the headboard. He smiles at me, but then I notice his leg next to the bed. He follows my gaze and when his cheeks redden, I am shocked that he would be embarrassed. He makes a move to move it out of sight, but I rush over to stop him.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," I tell him, but he just shakes his.

"Its not that… I just keep trying to scratch my foot, and its not there," he sighs. I fell as if my heart's being ripped in half. The strangest thing is he doesn't look sad, he looks angry. I thought he would be mournful about losing a part of yourself, but I guess to him it doesn't matter that much.

"Can I see," I ask and sit down on his bed. He nods and carefully pulls back the bedspread. He gathers up the empty pant leg and where his knee used to be is a nub, then nothing. I take a shaky deep breathe. "I'm sorry," I croak.

Peeta gathers me up in his arms. "It's nothing you did Katniss."

"I just hate that this happened to you. I hate that this is happening to us," I try to explain, but it comes out as a sob. I wipe away my tears and laugh at myself. "I can't stop crying!"

Peeta laughs and shakes his head at my insanity. "Just relax. Why did you come over here? Did something else happen? Not that I don't mind you just coming over here or anything, but I'm just," he rambles and I put my hand up to stop him.

"I just didn't want to be alone," I shrug. "Do you mind?"

"Of course not you can stay in here all night. You need your rest," he says and opens his arms. I don't hesitate to rush into his embrace and tuck my head under his chin.

With his arms wrapped around me, I instantly start to feel drowsy and soon I feel my eye lids slipping closed. I'm startled when Peeta ask me how I have been feeling.

"Fine, did I tell you how I got to see the baby and I heard the heartbeat," I tell him my voice thick with sleep.

He smiles at me," that is truly amazing. I wish I could have been there. What did it look like?"

"It was kind of hard to make out, but it looked like a little creature."

"Can I," he asks and motions towards my stomach. I bite my lip and nod.

He rolls up my shirt past the little bump; he looks back up at me for permission. I give him another small nod and he carefully paces his large hand on top of my belly. He smiles and rubs small circles on my stomach.

"Do you want to be a dad?" I ask him. He seems surprised by my question; maybe I should already know the answer.

I am relieved when he says, "Yes, I always wanted too. Maybe not this young or under these circumstances, but now that's it happening I'm excited. What about you?"

"Terrified," I sigh and lay my head on his bare chest.

"Considering everything going on that is very understandable, but know that I will do my best to protect you and our child," he says and runs his fingers through my hair. "Why you don't you get some sleep?"

"Good night Peeta."  
"Night Katniss," he whispers.

The next morning I'm shaken awake by Peeta. He is sitting up dressed, and by the late morning sun shining through the window, I know I must have slept in. I must say that it has been the best sleep I have had in years. No nightmares and I don't think I moved at all.

Peeta hands me a steaming cup of tea, and I take it gratefully. I sip on my tea and find that it has a touch of mint and something else. "What's in this?"

"It's a recipe that helps with nausea. I know that morning sickness wasn't bad during the games, but I didn't know if it would be worst now that you are actually eating," he explains.

"Thank you, but I think I'm done with the sickness. I guess now I just eat more," I shrug and Peeta grins.

"Well then I guess we should order some food then?"

"Yes we should and a lot of it. I am starving," I emphasize and set my tea on the nightstand. I watch as Peeta orders our and as it magically arrives we get comfortable on the bed to eat. We feast on lamb stew, different types of breads, fruit, and my favorite is the large piece of chocolate cake.

I eat three plates and have to stop myself from filling another. Peeta seems amused at how much I ate in a short amount of time. I could careless. I just felt like eating everything that was set in front of me.

I lean back stuffed, while Peeta puts the plates near the door for someone to come and pick up later. I'm not surprised when a loud knock comes from the door, and Haymitch burst in.

"Glad to see someone got up," he grumbles. "Prep will start in about twenty minutes and interview is in an about an hour."

"Since when do you know what the schedule is," I snort and sling my legs over the side of the bed.

"Since I got to stupid kids to keep in line," he snaps. "Just be ready for later."

"We will thank you Haymitch," Peeta says as he shuts the door behind him.

"Are you ready to be asked a million questions by the ever so charming Cesar," Peeta ask me in a ridiculous Capitol accent.

"No I hate interviews," I moan and flop back down onto the soft mattress. "I just want to crawl into bed and never get out."

"I know that you would rather sleep, but just think about getting to see Prim when this is over. Think about home," he says calmly trying to give me some comfort, but he has actually done the opposite. I start to think not only about seeing my family, but Gale too. I can't even imagine what he thinks of me now. In a relationship and expecting mother, either of those things I ever planned to be apart of, but life never goes as planned.

Right as Peeta is about to pull me out of bed my prep team burst through the door followed by Peeta's team. They shoo me out of the room and back to my room to get ready. My team chatters about the all the latest Capitol drama, and I start to form a headache from all their fussing and gossip.

I'm relieved when Cinna takes over and it's only him and I. He works quietly and diligently on my hair, and then another make over with a light dusting of make up. He made me a simple sundress with matching sandals. After some final touches, he releases me to the hands of Effie. She babbles about how I need to be on my best behavior for this interview, and what else is expected of me. I tune her out, and look for Peeta. Thankfully, I don't have to look to far as he enters the living room and walks right over to me. He is wearing a simple white button down, and black slacks. Once again, he looks very handsome.

"Anything you don't want to answer just send it my way," he whispers in my ear grinning as he pulls back to look at me. Everyone else in room thinks he is whispering some seductive message in my ear, when really he is trying his best to comfort me. I give him a side ways smile and a small nod. He smiles back and reaches out for my hand. I clasp my sweaty hand around his and take a shaky breath.

Effie leads us to a very formal living room. There are multiple cameras set up, bright lights, and three large lounge chairs. The director takes us to our seats, but I squeeze next Peeta. I need to be close to him encase anything happens. He is good with words, and I am not. Any hole I dig myself into he will pull me out with ease.

We settle into our spots Peeta with his arm draped around my shoulders, Cesar adjusting his powder blue wig, and all the camera people with the lighting. I'm sitting so close to Peeta that I might as well sit on his lap. Everyone else will think it's adorable, but for me he is my life line. I could never imagine doing all these horrible interviews by myself.

"So how are you two or might I say three doing," Cesar ask us. I'm a little startled that he actually wants to talk to us before the cameras are rolling, but thankfully Peeta answers for us.

"We are doing just fine," he answers and looks down to me. "Aren't we?"

"Just fine," I agree and return his bright smile with one of my own, expect it's forced. All the other times since the games, I haven't felt that way around him. Last night was the most content I have ever been, none of which was forced or strained. It was so easy and natural, but now I really feel like I'm acting, and he notices it too. I keep seeing Snow and his snake eyes threating me, and I can't relax.

We don't get into any other mindless conversation because the director calls action. Cesar introduces us, and then gets down to the questions. Most of the questions are about the games and our feelings during the course of it. I answer in a truthful manner that will reflect well on the Capitol and my unedifying love for Peeta. Peeta of course turns on the charm and steals the show.

I'm again taken off guard when Cesar ask about my late night creep into Peeta's room last night. He says that I must have gotten 'lonely' in a seductive way, when I really was just lonely.

"I almost lost him once, so I felt it would be a waste to spend the night across the hall from each other," I reply and know that I said the right thing. I thread Peeta and mine's fingers together and give him a small smile. This smile more natural then before and Peeta looks pleased at my slight shift in mood.

The rest of the interview goes by uneventful and finally they call cut and we're released from our torture. We leave everyone behind us and slowly walk down towards our rooms.

"So did you mean what you said in the interview about how you thought it would be a waste to spend the night away from each other?" Peeta ask me with an edge of hopefulness in his voice.

"I couldn't get comfortable, and I was afraid that if I was alone the nightmares would be terrible. That's why I came over," I shrug and look down at the floor.

"I just didn't know if it was all an act…," he explains and I shake my head.

"It's not all an act I promise its not. Now let's go to bed," I demand and grab his hand.

I take him into my room and while he changes in the bedroom, I go into the bathroom. Once I'm changed I walk back into the bedroom to fine Peeta already under the covers. I crawl up next to his side and nudge my way into his arms. We sit in silence for a while and then Peeta ask me, "What are your nightmares about?"

"They used to be about my father dying or Prim, but now they are about the games and the baby. Mostly losing anyone I love," I tell him. "What about yours?"

"Most of my nightmares are about losing you, but I'm fine when I know that you're here." He admits with a sad smile.

I don't know what to say next so I just lay down next to him and curl into his side. I close my eyes and try to fall asleep, but I'm to focused on Peeta's movements next to me. He leans over, turns off the lamp next to the bed, and then scouts down next to me. I open my eyes to meet his shining blue ones. Even in the dark room, I can tell how blue they are. He takes his right hand and slowly traces a line with the tips of his fingers along the side of my face and down to the corner on my mouth. He settles with his hand on the base of my neck. He looks down at my lips and back up at my eyes. Slowly he leans forward until our lips meet in a hesitant and short kiss. He pulls away quickly to get my response from his action, but instead I kiss again.

I kiss him gently, but then the next time with more force. He bites at my lower lip, and I let out a moan that I have never heard before. He repeats it again, and gets the same response. Our lips move in harmony with each other. Each time we kiss, it keeps getting deeper and with more determination then before. That spark I felt in the cave was there again and I was so hungry for more of his touches, and more of him. My hands roam his bare broad chest and I knot them in his curls anchoring me to him. I don't want to stop.

When we finally break apart, I notice our position. I had been so lost in this moment that I didn't notice that Peeta had rolled onto his back, and I was hovering over him. We are both trying to catch our breath and Peeta whispers, "I love you Katniss, and I know you said you just wanted to be friends. I don't think I can handle that."

I'm at a lost for words again. I move myself from on top of him and lay next to him on the mattress. If he wants to be more then friends then I guess that would make him my boyfriend, but that title doesn't feel right. He would be so much more then that childish name. However, do I really want to take that step? I feel stupid for not knowing how I feel about him, but I don't! Why can't it just be simple, and uncomplicated? I feel like there is so much at risk, but would me actually admitting that I might like him the same way he likes me really hurt anything further? It would actually do nothing but help our situation. I can deny that there are feelings towards him. That kissing wasn't any kind of acting. There aren't any cameras on us or any one around. That was only for us, and friends don't do that. We already took that huge step and I'm pregnant. There isn't anything holding me back, so why not.

I turn onto my side so I can look Peeta directly in the eye. "I want to be more then friends too," I whisper and I can feel my cheeks burning a bright red. Peeta looks at me confused, and then he looks skeptical.

"Is this all because of what Snow said," he asks me.

"No," I say sternly. "Peeta I just made out with you, I sleep with you every night by choice, and I have been sleeping with you since before Snow's threat. I'm doing this because I want too. It also wouldn't do anything but help our problem."

"Okay I'm sorry for assuming the worst it is just something I never thought I would ever think would happen," he grins and gives me a small kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"Peeta… I hate when you say that," I groan and roll onto my back.

"Why? You just said you wanted to be more then friends?"

"Its just that my whole life I have been dead set on never loving anyone like my mother did, because when my dad died so did a part of my mom, and she hasn't been the same since. I don't want that to happen to me, so I signed off on loving anyone besides Prim."

"You're afraid to fall in love," he whispers sadly.

"I don't want love to make me weak," I gasp and swallow the lump in my throat. These damn hormones only make me cry!

"Love doesn't make you weak Katniss, it makes you stronger. I promise you that."

"Whatever," I mumble.

"How about this, I won't say those three words to you. Until you feel like you can say them to me. Are you alright with that?"

"I'm fine with that," I agree.

The next morning we're taken to the train station early, and the whole time we are boarding and waving to the Capitol citizens from the platform I never let go of his hand. I hand onto him like my lifeline. Something about going home has me all flustered and anxious. Facing everyone I know pregnant and with the father of my baby. I'm not ashamed with the pregnancy, but it's the best thing I have ever done. I would definitely call it a mistake, good or bad is yet to be determined, but it was a mistake.

Peeta and I are close the whole train ride, and I know that Haymitch notices. When the train stops to fuel, and he motions for us to follow him outside I don't question him, but follow him out into the warm air. We are getting close to District 11. It is very humid and there are very little trees for shade, so it is almost uncomfortably hot.

"What's changed, because you two are being very chummy all of a sudden? I know it's not just because of little cub. Did something happen with Snow?" Haymitch ask me more directly then Peeta.

"He doesn't think I love Peeta. He thinks that everything has been an act to save myself," I tell him and he nods his head in understand meant. "He threated the baby."

"Oh, well what do you have to do?" He asks both of us.

"I have to prove to him that I love Peeta, and since I have to do that. We decide that being more then friends wouldn't hurt, and its something we both wanted anyway. Do you think we could do anything else?"

"There really isn't much else. How would you feel about living together? Snow would love that," he snorts, I look over to Peeta.

"It's all up to you Katniss," he shrugs.

"Would we still get two houses?" I ask Haymitch.

"Yeah, so it's settled. You two will live in Peeta's. I assume Peeta you won't want to move your family in anyway. So it's settled and next time, tell me about things like this sweetheart," he finishes and walks back to the train.

"Why wouldn't you want to move your family in," I question and take his hand leading him back to the train.

"Well my mother wasn't the nicest growing up. She would get a little physical when she got angry. Like when I burnt the beard for you she hit me," he recalls the painful memory with a grimace. "But it was the best thing I ever did."

"You saved me," I acknowledge and give him a small smile.

"Well you certainly returned the favor," he retorts as we board the train.

"I never thought I would be able to."

"Well you did, and now we get to go home."

Peeta and I are eating a late lunch when the trees of District 12 come into view. I smile and walk over to the window with Peeta by my side. A couple minutes later, the train starts to slow and pull into a very crowded train station. Effie and Haymitch lead us off the train and onto the platform. We wave to everyone, and when my eyes land on Prim I take a huge deep breathe and run off the platform towards her. She meets me half way and I gather her up in my arms. She giggles as I hold her tighter, and when I pull back, I can't do anything but smile. Prim looks the same as when I left. Maybe she got a little taller, but in good health.

"I missed you so much," I say my voice raspy from trying not to cry.

"I'm just so happy you made it home. I love you Katniss."

"I love you too, and I have someone you should meet," I smile and take her hand.

I find Peeta saying hello to his three brothers, and when he spots us, he comes over and sticks his hand out to Prim. "Hello Primrose, I'm Peeta."

"Hello Peeta, it's nice to finally meet the father of my unborn niece or nephew," Prim teases and I elbow her in the ribs.

"So Katniss never let out who the lucky guy was," Peeta teases.

I roll my eyes. "I didn't tell anyone. Only three people knew that I was pregnant," I huff and leave those two to their devices and say hello to everyone else.

I say hello to many people from the Hob and most are happy that I made it back and don't acknowledge anything else. Gale is awkward and doesn't look me in the eye, and barely says anything but a sullen 'hi'. His brother and sisters give me all hugs and his mother Hazelle gives me a big hug.

After the station we both do some small interviews about what it feels like to be home, and then it comes time for the houses in Victors Village. We don't make a big scene about us living together, and I almost feel like everyone expected that to start with. Our houses our right next to each other, and are ten times the size of my old house. Each one with running water, and electric that never turns off. My mother isn't crazy about us living together, but still agrees that it's fine. Prim loves that we are living together, and continues to talk about how cute we are.

When the cameras finally leave and we're left alone in our new house I flop down on the couch, and Peeta follows suit.

"Now let the real games begin," he mutters and I crack up.

"We really aren't safe are we," I giggle madly and Peeta just shakes his head.

"No we aren't, but I will do everything in my power to protect you," he states and leans over to give me a kiss. "Now let's go to bed."

_**There it is! A very long chapter and ended at a strange spot, but I just couldn't cut it off any where else! Please review and I will be back within the next two weeks! **_


	6. Chapter 6: Warning

"Katniss you do," Peeta argues from our bed. I shoot him a death glare and continue to struggle.

"I don't want to get a bunch of new clothes," I whine and throw my shirt over my head. We have been home for almost a month and none if my clothes fit. There aren't exactly many places to buy clothing in twelve so I have been wearing Peeta's shirts and stretchy pants to hold me over, but it's very clear I need something else.

"Katniss just call Effie or Cinna and they will send you plenty of clothing," Peeta assures me. "You're only going to get bigger, and if you do it now you won't have to do it again"

"Whatever," I mumble and start looking for one of his clean shirts. I find a clean grey one and pull it over my head, and lay down next to him on the bed.

"Have you talked to Gale," he asks me, slowly stroking all the stray hairs off my forehead.

"No the other day I tried to explain to him what is at risk, and he wouldn't let me talk," I sigh, "I don't know why he can't just be my friend!"

"I don't know. I'm going to call Effie and see what I can do about your clothes. I'll be right downstairs. I think you should talk to him though," he tells me and kisses my forehead.

I watch him walk out of the room and I listen to his heavy footfall down the stairs. I roll off the bed and go to the bathroom to pee. I swear I pee three times an hour and maybe more some days. Along with my over active bladder I have been gaining weight at a rapid pace. I have gained back all the weight I lost during the games and some. Peeta is happy that I'm doing so well and so is my mother. I worry all the time that something is wrong, but Peeta always reminds that I'm fine. Between worry about Snow and the baby that depends completely on me, I don't get much sleep at night. I usually just watch Peeta sleep, and then during the day I take short naps. I don't want to risk going into the woods, so I have a good amount of free time for napping.

I have this routine that I spend here with Peeta, but I feel as if like it isn't getting my child any closer to safety. The only thing that I can use to my advantage is the victory tour, but that is three months away. I we will just have to hope that us being together on the tour will be enough. If Snow doesn't believe us, I don't know what we are going to do.

I stop my destructive thoughts and walk downstairs. I can hear Peeta on the phone in the office so I wander into the kitchen to find a snack. Peeta makes it a habit of keeping many different kinds of pastries in the house, and I have come to love the little things. He never complains when he has to cook dinner. How he always goes out of is way to help me. Honestly, he makes me feel bad because he does everything without thinking, and it's a struggle for me to give him a compliment.

I look through the bowl of breads on the counter and fine three cheese buns, which are my favorite thing Peeta makes. I munch on them gaze mindlessly out the window over the sink. It looks nice outside and a perfect day to hunt, but I wouldn't risk it.

I get so lost in my own thoughts that I don't hear Peeta walk up behind me, and wrap his arms around my waist. He sets his chin on my shoulder and kisses the spot behind my ear. I smile and turn around in his arms. "So what did Effie say?"

"I will get a shipment of maternity clothes on the very next train," he says in a high-pitched Capitol accent. We both laugh, but then I grow concerned by what she might send me.

"Did you stress the point of clothes that I would actually like," I groan and Peeta chuckles.

"Yes I made sure to mention to send some plain shirts and pants," he reassures me and leans in for a kiss. I respond by moving my lips in time with his, and when the kiss deepens and he traces my bottom lip with his tongue I allow him access. I always thought it would be strange to use your tongue when kissing someone, but everything with Peeta is so, right. I hook my fingers in his hair, and he picks me up and sets me on the counter. The best thing with living together, we're never interrupted. We haven't done anything more then kiss, but I still like the privacy.

"Oh, and I also talked to my father and he would like to have us over for dinner, with my whole family," he draws out the last part.

"Your mother hates me," I point out and Peeta shakes his head.

"She hates everyone, but I would like you to meet my brothers," he says trying to persuade me.

"When would this dinner be taking place?"

"I told my dad tonight," he tells me quickly knowing I won't like it.

"Okay, I have to find something to wear. Let me go talk to my mom and see if she can help. Besides I'm sure everyone would love to see the two of us walking through town together," I add and Peeta frowns.

"I guess," he sighs and looks away from me.

"I hate that we can't do this at our own pace, but we don't have a choice. I'm sorry Peeta."

"It isn't anything you did. I guess if I hadn't said those three words in the arena to you we wouldn't be in this situation." He says and then takes a deep breath and looks at me again. "I just don't want you or the baby to get hurt, and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that you are both safe."

My stomach fills with butterflies as he proclaims this, and I know that he means it. His words comfort me, but scare me that he would probably be willing to give his own life for mine. It makes me shudder at the thought of not having Peeta here. I really don't think I could survive without him, and that is something I have been thinking more and more about lately. How much I have been depending on him since the games. Every nightmare he has been there with a warm embrace and even kisses. He always is putting my needs before his own. All his wonderful qualities amaze me that even though a horrible woman raised him, he is still so kind and gentle. I have known since the games that I have cared for him deeply, but I just thought that it was because of everything going on and our history. However, this past month he has done nothing but show me how much he truly loves me. He has never said it, but I can tell, and I think I might be falling for him too.

I give Peeta one more kiss and then hop down off the counter. "I will be back hopefully with an outfit soon," I smirk and he smiles too.

"Tell your Mother and Prim I said hello," he hollers at me as I head for the front door.

"I will," I yell back and start across the lawn.

I know they should be home so I don't bother knocking on the front door. I walk right into the kitchen to find my mother stirring something over the stove and Prim sitting at the kitchen table with Buttercup in her lap.

Buttercup hisses to announce my arrival and Prim jumps up and runs over to me.

"Katniss!"

"Hey Prim," I say giving her hug, and then sitting down at the table in the chair across from hers.

"So what brings you over here," Prim questions me.

"Well I have to go to dinner tonight with Peeta's family, and I need something to wear. Nothing really fits anymore and I cannot sew," I explain and Prim nods and looks over to my mother.

"Well I have some old dresses upstairs," my mom says but I crinkle my nose.

"Any way to not wear a dress," I mumble and my mom smiles.

"Of course, you two watch this stove while I try to come up with something," she says and walks towards the stairs.

"Thank you," I say, she smiles and walks out of the room.

I sit back in my chair and look at Prim who is smiling like a fool. "What?"  
"I just think it's funny that you don't fit in to your clothes anymore, and just thinking about you waddling around makes me laugh," she laughs as I scowl.

"Whatever," I mumble under my breath, and cross my arms over my chest.

"Relax Katniss I thought you would be happier now that you guys are done fighting for your lives," she teases, but I stiffen at her words. She has no idea what is really going on. I decided too spare her and my mother of knowing the dangerous details.

I try to play off my reaction, but she sees right through me. "While Mom is working on your clothes why don't you and I take Lady for a walk to the meadow," Prim suggest innocently, but I know she wants to talk without the risk of my mother over hearing us.

I follow her outside and watch as she gets Lady, and we slowly walk in the direction of the meadow. "What is going on," she questions me.

"Nothing you need to worry about," I answer her, but she isn't satisfied. I don't ant to tell her what is really hanging on our backs so I have to think of an excuse. "I think I'm going to head back my legs are really sore." Which really isn't a lie.

"You promise you would tell me if something was wrong," she says with skeptical look.

"Yes," I lie. "I will talk to you later," I say to her before walking back in the direction of Victor's Village.

Instead of going back to my moms, I go to see what Peeta's up to. I walk through the front door and it doesn't take me long to find Peeta in the kitchen. Whatever he is making smells delicious so I hop up on top of the counter, and swing my feet while I watch him work. It looks like he is making a four course meal, and I'm slightly confused as to why he would be cooking when we are going to dinner in a just a few hours.

"My father called and said that my mother didn't want to cook. So now I am coking dinner for us here," he explains as he turns back to the stove.

"Oh, well I'm having an outfit made so I should be good by the time they get here."

"That's good because I don't mind you wearing my shirts, but my mother might have a few comments if she saw you," he sighs and moves across the kitchen next to me.

"I think there will be comments no matter what I wear," I retort and he nods his head in agreement.

"Just try to ignore her," he asks me.

"I'll try but I don't know how long I will be able to go without punching her right in the face. I mean what kind of person beats their kids when they make a mistake. Makes my blood boil," I hiss. Peeta sets his hand on my knee and slowly rubs up and down my thigh. I hadn't realized how sore I really was until he started to massage my leg. "Please continue," I mumble and he chuckles.

"Would you like a foot rub," he offers.

"You really want to rub my feet?" I ask him in disbelief.

"Of course I notice they looked a little swollen this morning and I highly doubt wearing your hunting boots helps any," he points out and helps me down off the counter.

I walk into the living room and settle myself on the couch and Peeta kneels in front of me. He starts to untie my laces, but I stop him. "Really I can get my own shoes off."

"Just sit back and relax," he instructs me and I don't argue.

I lean back into the plush cushion, and already feeling better when he gets my boots off, but when he starts to knead my foot I moan and my eyes roll into the back of my head.

"This is wonderful," I yawn and he works up from the arch of my foot to my ankle, and then my calf. He keeps rubbing and kneading my feet and after ten minutes, he gets off the floor and sits next to me on the couch. "Thank you," I whisper.

"Your welcome, now what do I get as payment," he teases me and pokes my side.

"I am not rubbing your feet, but I guess I could give you a kiss," I mumble my cheeks growing redder by the minute. I'm still uncomfortable with 'romantic' moments. I'm so awkward and usually end up ruining everything, but Peeta like everything else he does is perfect.

Peeta smiles down at me and meets my lips halfway in a sweet and gentle kiss. I smile against his lips and pull away from him. "Good?"

"Not yet," he says with a devilish grin and pulls me in for another kiss. Once we stop for air, I settle my head on his shoulder and listen to his steady breathing. Soon my eyes start to get heavy. I'm fighting the drowsiness with little success, but thankfully Peeta starts talking.

"Someone's here," he tells me and gets off the couch. I watch as he walks out of the room and I hear the front door open and close. He enters with what I'm assuming is my outfit for tonight, and I happy at what I see.

I got my mom a sewing machine a week or two ago and she has put it to good use. She took some blue denim pants and put a six-inch wide elastic waistband at the top. The shirt is a plain long sleeve dark green. "Perfect," I say and take the clothes from Peeta.

I wash up and then go back into the bedroom to change. The pants fit loosely, and the waistband goes up past my belly button. I pull the green shirt over my head and re-braid my hair before looking in the mirror.

My eyes go right to my stomach. This is the first time I'm actually wearing a shirt my size and I realize how much I've grown outwards. When I turn to the side, you can see the distinctive bump. It's still small, but on my skinny frame it looks strange. I'm basically the same every where else, and then I have this gut sticking out on the front of me.

I hear Peeta coming up the stairs and he smiles when he sees me dressed. "Your Mom did a good job."

" Yeah, but I think I 'popped'," I say and he examines me closely.

"I guess you did, but that means that the baby is doing well, just remember that. My family will be here in a couple minutes," he tells me and I nod as he rushes back downstairs.

I sit down on the bed and start to prepare myself. Last time I saw Peeta's mother was a week after we got back, and she clearly showed her dislike for me. I didn't even say anything and she got an insult or two in. Tonight's guaranteed to be brutal. I grunt when I hear the loud knock at the front door, and force myself to move from our bedroom. I drag myself down the stairs and manage to put a happy smile on my face as I see his Father and Brothers walk in and then his Mother.

"Hey son," his Dad says giving him a hug. "Katniss," he greets me and pulls me into a hug as well. His Dad is strange to hug because he looks so much like Peeta. The only difference is how his face is aged and worn, and his blond hair darker mixed with a slight graying.

His brothers say a friendly hello, and his Mother just turns her nose up at me and walks towards the dining room. Peeta and I follow behind them, and once they're settled at the table I help Peeta with carrying out the food to the table.

"Just let me handle her," he reminds me and kisses my forehead. I give him a reassuring smile and follow him back into the dining room.

I am sitting as far away from his Mother as possible, but I don't think it will help much. It's hard for me to ignore her glares and nasty looks. I just look at Peeta who is sitting next to me and keep biting my tongue.

Dinner progresses well until his Mother brings up a very touchy subject.

"When are you two going to get married," she asks us in her cynical tone.

I look over at Peeta and decide to plow ahead. "We aren't panning on rushing into anything," I tell her and she doesn't seemed pleased with my answer.

"You already knocked her up, why wait?" She pushes back and Peeta finds my hand under the table and entwines his fingers with mine.

"Mom, please. We are taking it one thing at a time, and we aren't going to get married just because of the baby," Peeta shoots back and she just shakes her head.

"Good cause she will probably leave you anyway once it's born. Dump it on you, and then run back to the Seam," she curses and I can't take it anymore. I push my chair away from the table and storm out of the room. I hear Peeta calling after me, and I also hear his mother say," look already running away from her problems!"

I turn on my heel and march right back into the dining room. "What is wrong with you? I would never leave my child. I am not with Peeta just because of the baby! I am with him because he is the only reason I haven't given up! The only reason I am still alive! I know that he loves me more then anything else in the world, and I'm starting to think I love him too! You are a horrible person and would never understand what that feels like, and you will never be near our child," I yell and look at the stunned table. I look at Peeta and I know that I crossed the line. "I'm sorry Peeta," I whisper and run out of the house.

I start running and don't stop until I get to the meadow. I curl up under a tree and start to cry. I probably ruined everything by yelling at her. I know he doesn't like his Mother, but I over stepped my boundaries. In addition, I almost told Peeta that I love him! It has only been a month and I almost said that! It scares the hell out of me, because this isn't me at all, but I have too. If I don't let myself love him then Snow will do the unthinkable, and I'll be damned if I'll let him kill another innocent child.

Through my clouded vision I make out the shape of someone walking towards me, and when they call my name I know it's Peeta. He sits down next to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. "I'm sorry," I sob, but Peeta stops me.

"You did nothing, but stand up for yourself. I have wanted to do that for years," he says and wipes the tears off my cheek. "Let's go home." He says and as he stands up he lifts me into his arms, and I don't try to get away. I let him carry me all the way home.

It has been a week since the dinner with his family and Peeta hasn't been into work, and has stayed home and been hovering over me. He constantly asks how I'm feeling and it is very annoying. The only relief I get from his over bearing care is when I go for a walk one afternoon. I don't walk to town, but instead head to the Seam. I walk past my old house and then past Gales. No one is home this time of day, so I continue onto the Hob. I haven't been here since the morning of the reaping and Greasy Sae is more then happy to give me a big steaming bowl of soup.

As I'm chatting at Sae's booth I fell a strong hand land on my shoulder. "Hey Catnip," Gale greets me.

"Hey Gale," I say back surprised he isn't working.

"Could we talk, alone," he asks me, and motions towards the door. I nod and drop some coins on the counter and follow Gale outside. We stop a few yards from the fence and face each other.

"How's everything in family land," he snorts eyeing up my protruding stomach.

"It's not like that Gale if you would just let me explain," I start, but he cuts me off.

"How you're pregnant and living with your boyfriend?"

"Yes! Just shut up. Snow threatened me that if he wasn't convince that I am actually in love with Peeta… He will kill the baby."

"So you're living with him just to protect your little mistake," he snaps.

"Don't say that," I hiss. "Just because it wasn't planned, doesn't mean I want it killed."

"So do you actually love him or was it all an act," he asks his lips set in a firm line.

"I don't know," I mumble and cross my arms. "It's what I have been trying to figure out."

Gale takes one-step closer to me, but I don't back away. He leans down slightly and before I can stop him he crashes his lips onto mine, and it takes all my might to push him off me.

"I just had to do that once," he says.

"Gale it could never be like that between you and me. It just wouldn't work, and I want you to understand that I just want you as a friend."

"Well being your friend isn't what I want to be my whole life," he mumbles and without saying anything else, he walks away from me.

I take a deep breathe and try to gather my composure. I never knew that Gale liked me like that. I have always though to of him as a brother or as the Capitol portrays him my cousin. The way he kissed me felt so wrong, and rough. I just want to erase the memory from my mind. It was nothing like how I feel when I kiss Peeta. How I'm light headed and the butterflies in my stomach. It makes me want to kiss him again. Gale's kiss was so forced and no one ounce of love was in it. I feel so bad because what if someone just saw that. It would for sure get back to the Capitol and we would be doomed. I have to tell Peeta, but then again I don't want to hurt him or give him the wrong idea. This would take us ten steps backwards instead of forward.

I turn on my heels and walk back home, and when I walk through the front door, I can smell Peeta's cooking. I take off my boots to relieve some of the pressure on my aching feet; maybe Peeta could give me another foot massage that would be nice. I smile to myself while walking into the kitchen, and take a seat at our kitchen table.

"How was your walk," he asks pouring me a glass of water.

"It was fine," I say evenly and Peeta looks at me for a long second before deciding not to point out my lie. I don't feel like talking about everything right now, and I definitely don't want to argue with him.

I'm quieter than usual during dinner, and I elect to go to bed as soon as the dishes are done. Peeta says he wants to do some things and then he will be up.

I slip into bed and know I won't fall asleep until Peeta joins me, but I do shut my eyes and manage to lightly doze for awhile until I feel the bed dip from his weight and wrap his arms around me. I nuzzle my face into the crook of his neck and his free hand finds my stomach and rubs small circles. He has made it a habit of his to stroke my growing belly. I think it's strange, but relaxing at the same time, so I don't complain.

"Are you feeling alright," he asked me.

"Yeah why," I said in response.

"It seemed like something was bothering you after you got home from your walk. Did something happen?"

"No"

"Please don't lie to me Katniss."

"Peeta seriously drop it," I beg, but with no success.

"Katniss it can't be that bad. Just tell me and then we will go to sleep."

"I saw Gale," I admit. "I tired to talk to him, but he… kissed me."

I finish my sentence and dead silence falls between us. This has to be the longest thirty seconds of my life and I start to ramble to save myself. "I didn't kiss him back. He just did it before I could move away, and I pushed him off me. I swear Peeta, and I hated every bit of it. I just didn't want to tell you, and you get hurt. I'm sorry. I will understand if you don't want to be around me tonight," I start but he cuts me off. His blues look dark with rage not towards me though.

"Katniss just stop. I'm not mad because he threw himself at you. I'm mad because you didn't tell me. This is something I should have known about right away. Not because of the action, but because of what this could mean for us," he says in a stern voice.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "I should have told you, but I thought it would have been better if you hadn't known."

"Stop apologizing. Just promise me from here on out you will tell me everything, no matter how small, if it affects the three of us in that sense. You have to tell me."

"Okay."

"I am mad at Gale though," he said, "he shouldn't have acted out. I want to punch him for all the damage he could have caused."

Peeta's tone when he says this scares me. He sounds so certain that beating Gale would solve our problems. It's not his usual sweet and understanding self, he sounds like an over possessive man, the kind that talks with violence instead of words. It makes me uncomfortable thinking about Peeta and Gale fighting. I know Peeta could win, but I don't want it to come to that.

"Please don't fight him."

"He can't get away with that. You would really forgive him for forcing himself on you?"

"I never said I forgave him," I said, "I just don't want violence. Promise me you won't do anything stupid."

"No promises," he mumbles.

I have had enough with his stubbornness. I untangle myself from his arms and storm out of the room. I stomp into the kitchen, find the first thing that is sweet, and fling myself down on the couch. With the bag of candy balanced on my stomach, I slouch down and start to pop the chocolate candies into my mouth. I wish I could go out to the woods and blow off some steam, but it would be asking for a death sentence.

With the lamp on next to my seat, I look out the dark window, but end up looking at my own reflection in the glass. I look disheveled and tired, dark circles forming under my eyes. You can't exactly call it the pregnancy glow.

I finish my bag of candy and then find a more comfortable position on the couch. I'm surprised that Peeta hasn't come downstairs yet, but I'm glad he hasn't either. I pull a fleece blanket up around my shoulders and prepare for a restless night.

I wake up sweating and panting repeating to myself, '_it was just a dream. It was just a dream.'_

I fumble with the blanket that's wrapped around my legs and stumble out of the living room. I fly up the stairs and go straight to our room. I dive under the covers and snuggle into Peeta's side. Even in his sleep, he opens his arms for me and holds me close. The dream was so vivid and I swore I watched Snow kill Gale and Peeta by hand.

Peeta's steady breathing has ceased I know he must be awake. "It was a dream." Is all I said and he knows that I need him to hold me.

"I promise I won't punch him," he said and stroked his hand up and down my arm. "I promise I won't."

"Thank you."

For a while, I stay very close to Peeta. Every time he leaves the house, I am right beside him. He doesn't mind my company, but I'm really trying to prevent a run in with Gale. I know he said that he wouldn't do anything, but Peeta is over protective and wouldn't let something like that go so easily.

However, the one day I stay behind while Peeta retrieves my new maternity clothing from the train station. He is gone for about twenty minutes before he comes bursting through the front door, with Haymitch in toe.

He puts the large box done, turns, and runs in the other direction. "Haymitch what is going on," I question and he doesn't answer. Instead, he shuts the door and blocks my route to follow Peeta.

"Sweetheart why don't you go lie down, no need to stress while you got little cub in there," he says sweetly and motions towards the living room.

"I'm pregnant not dying," I snap. "What is going on?"

"Nothing, just let Peeta handle it," he says and when I see a large group of people coming towards us I start to worry. I start to panic when I see that they are carry someone who looks bloody and I know they are going to my mothers. I start to breathe slightly when I see that Peeta is helping carrying the person and not the one on the board. It doesn't stop me from running around Haymitch and towards the group. I start to run towards Peeta when I finally realize who they are carrying, Gale.

I look at his back and I can see individual lash marks red and raw running the length of his back. He is moaning in pain as I move along him. I lock eyes with Peeta and I notice that he has a gash on the side of his face.

"New Peacekeeper, over fifteen lashes," Peeta pants as they reach my mothers house. I run ahead of them and yell for my mother and Prim.

They both come rushing down stairs alarmed, but I point to the group behind me, and they wave us to the kitchen. After clearing the table, they transfer Gale over leaving him in the hands of my mother.

I get some ice out of the freezer and wrap a piece of cloth around. I gently apply it to Peeta's face. "What happened," I ask him, as my sister injects morphine into Gales back, and within moments, he is dead to the world.

"Apparently, he was caught poaching, but he wasn't out there. He was walking home from work, and was dragged to the square Ripper saw the whole thing," Peeta whispers and I nod. Snow did this. He must have saw that kiss and sent Gale a message.

I start to feel lightheaded and have to balance by reaching out for Peeta. He leads me to a chair and I put my head in my hands. I look down at my stomach and I know that I have just killed our child. Nothing could make up for this. It might not have been a long or returned kiss, but it was still a kiss. In Snow's eyes, this has only convinced him that I am nothing but a liar.

I look up at Peeta and I can tell he is thinking the same thing. This was just a warning shot, the worst is yet to come. I sink down in my chair and look over at Gale sleeping at the table. He may have been my best friend for so long, but after the danger he put us in. I don't know if I could ever trust him again. He said it himself he couldn't be friends, he needs more then that.

"Come with me, please," I ask Peeta quietly. He nods and follows me into the living room. I sit down on the couch and when Peeta settles in I bury my head in his chest and the tears start to fall. "I'm scared Peeta, this was just a warning."

"I know," he agrees and wraps his arm around me, "but that will never stop me from protecting the two people I love the most."

I sigh and give him a pathetic look. "I remember out agreement, but Katniss. Right now I just want to say I love you."

The words rolling off his tongue so naturally, it makes me wonder if it would be the same for me saying them back, and seeing what Snow did to Peeta it makes me wonder how much time we have left in this world. If I keep trying to figure out my feelings, and taking too long, I might miss the chance to say those three words back, and I could never imagine Peeta going without knowing how I really feel about him. I can't imagine not waking up next to him every morning, falling asleep without him besides me. I can't see my future with anyone else. I miss him even when he is just at the bakery for a few hours. I am happy when he is around, and I know he loves our unborn child to pieces. I might die soon anyway, so I have to get if off my chest. I have kept my feelings in too long.

"I," I start but am cut off when my mother enters the room.

"I'm sorry but he is awake. I thought you would like to talk to him," she said, then walked back out of the room.

I don't move from my spot next to Peeta. He sighs and stands up. He moves in front of me, and holds out his. "Go, it's the right thing to do."

Of course, Peeta would be the voice of reason in this situation. He still respects that Gale is or was a part of my life. I take his hand and he lifts me to my feet. He leans down and rests his forehead against mine. I close my eyes and take in his smell, the calming mix of vanilla and cinnamon. I lean into him more when he gently grazes his lips with mine. "Talk to him," he urges me one last time.

I take a deep breath and walk into the kitchen. Gale is lying on the table face down, and doesn't notice my presence until I take a seat in the creaky chair next to the table. He smiles through the daze of drugs and said, "hey Catnip."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fuzzy," is all he says. "You got bigger."

"Thanks for telling," me I snort.

We sit in silence for another minute and his eyes start to drop. "Sleep," I whisper and get out of my chair. I find Peeta sitting in the living room, and there is nothing more that I want to do then go home and fall into bed.

"Let's go home," I say and pull him with me out of my mother's house.

The next morning I go back over to check on Gale. He is still lying on the table, and I find Prim tending to his wounds. She looks at me from across the room and smiles, "he's much doing better."

"That's good," I say. "Could we have a minute alone?"

"Of course," she says and skips out of the room.

I sit in the same chair I was in last night and I look over the bandages on his back, and the wounded look in his eyes. "Gale this was a warning," I whisper leaning towards him. "I'm sorry, but I think it would be best if we just kept our distance. That thing you did a couple weeks ago caused this."

"Katniss, we don't have to worry about that if we do what we talked about, run," he said and winced at the pain from talking.

Running is absolutely out of the question. There are too many people to take, and whoever is left behind will be killed instantly. I have no doubt that anyone who any contact with us would be tortured for answers then killed. Besides, I can't live in wilderness with a baby on the way. Stay here or running has the possibility of death either way.

"I have other people to think about now," I reply. "I'm sorry, but it's what's best."

I leave before he can say anything else. Instead of going back home, I walk towards the fence. I don't dare go under, but I walk along it, looking into the woods with longing to visit when I feel the flutter. It's a short an fleeting feeling, but it makes me worry. Is this normal, or is something wrong?

I start walking home, and when I get halfway there I feel it again, and I pick up my pace. My breathing is labored when I barge into our house and practically run into Peeta as he came running down the stairs.

"What's wrong?" He asks his eyes scanning my body for any injuries.

"I just need to talk to my mother," I mumble and turn towards the door, but he stops me.

"She's in the kitchen. I called her over for some muffins I made while you were out."

"Oh," I say and follow him into the kitchen. Sure enough, my mom is putting half a dozen muffins into a paper bag. I don't waste any time and blurt, "mom on m walk I felt like this fluttering, and it happened twice. I didn't know if it was normal or if it meant something was wrong." I pant and brace myself against Peeta.

My mom smiles and looks at Peeta then back to me. "Katniss stop worrying. You probably felt the baby's movements for the first time."

I feel my face redden because I freaked out over something that is good, but then everything sinks in. I am going to be a mother. I am going to have a baby in less than five months. I knew that before this, but now it seems so real. The bump isn't just a bump, but it's out baby. I start to hyperventilate again, and I stumble down into the nearest chair. Within seconds, Peeta is in front of me telling me to breathe.

I focus on his voice and how it's gentle and stern at the same time. I close my eyes and he keeps telling me to breathe, and after a few minutes, I gain my composure.

"Sorry," I said to him and placed my head in my hands. "It's just so real now, and it scares me because now it isn't moving. How am I going to know if something is wrong? Shouldn't it still be moving?"

I hear my mother stifle a chuckle and Peeta shoots her a look over her shoulder. She wipes her expression clean and says, "The baby is small. It can't move constantly. When it does move take it as a good sign."

"Okay," I huff, but I know it will be hard. Having the reminder that this little human being is depending on not to screw it up is a lot of responsibility.

"I'll be going now, and Katniss don't be afraid to call or come over," she tells me and then I hear her footsteps echo down the hall and out the front door.

"Sure you are alright?" Peeta asks crouching down in front of me. He takes both my hands in his, and rubs small circles on my palms.

"Yeah, I just feel like there is so much weighing on us, and now that I could feel the baby. It scares me even more what Snow might do. I can't fail this baby."

Peeta gives me a sad smile, leans in, and kisses my forehead. "You will never fail our child. You are and will be the best mother."

"How do you?"

"Katniss you are protective, strong, and love so fiercely. I don't anyone more capable of becoming a mother."

I roll my eyes at his compliments, but I also don't argue. I just want to lie down and sleep. I have had enough of this day already and it's only a little past noon.

I wrap my arms around Peeta's neck and mumble 'bed' into his chest. I don't have to say anything else before he picks me up bridal style and easily carries me to our room. He helps me take off my boots before tucking me under the covers. He turns to leave but I stop him.

"Where are you going?"

"I was just going to finish cleaning up, but…," he trails off.

"Don't leave me," I whisper and I sound so exhausted that he doesn't bother taking another step away from the bed.

He crawls up tight to my side and wraps his arms around me. I use his chest as my pillow and listen to his steady heartbeat. The strong and consistent beats giving me the feeling those as long as he is breathing he will always try to protect me, and with that in mind, I slowly fall asleep.

_**That's it for now! A little slow going with this story, but once school is over with, I plan to have one chapter a week! Please leave a review! **_** I love all of them so please please please review! Until next time… **__


	7. Chapter 7: Step it up

I try to roll out of bed, but Peeta's arms stop me. He is holding me so tight that I forcefully pull him off me. I make it to the bathroom just in time, and once I wash up and shuffle back towards the bed. Peeta is sitting with his back against the headboard, looking dazed and confused.

"What's wrong?" He asks his voice still heavy with sleep.

"Had to pee, always have to pee," I grumble and he nods.

I curl up under the covers and get back to where I was before; I hear a knock at the front door. I look over my shoulder at Peeta and he looks just as confused as I am. Anyone who comes to our house has a key or would never stop by this early.

Peeta reluctantly gets up to answer the door. I hear the front door creak open, multiple voices and then Peeta reappears in the doorway. He seems very tense, and I know something is off. "Could you get dressed into nicer pajamas and come downstairs?"

"Sure," I say and he quickly walks back downstairs.

I find something that is somewhat presentable to wear. Then I bound down the stairs, but stop at the bottom step. There are three men dressed in black suits standing in the foyer. I peek outside and I see a black car parked out front. They are defiantly from the Capitol, probably some of Snow's personal minions. I wouldn't be surprised if they were here to arrest us, and take us away, or if this is Snow keeping his promise about my child's final ultimatum. I take a shaky breath and look to Peeta who is standing tensely next to the tallest man with gray and white hair. His hands fidgeting at his sides, I can tell he is ready to make a move to fight them if needed. However, I highly doubt that would help any.

"What's going on?" I step off the bottom step and move closer to Peeta. He places his hand on the small of my back. His touch relaxes me, and stops my body from shaking.

"We have been ordered by the President to complete a health examine of you and your child," the tall man says monotone.

"Oh we weren't aware of your visit," Peeta states. "Where will…," he starts but the large man stops him.

"The living room would be sufficient for this examine." The three suited men turn and walk right towards the living room as if they have been here dozens of times before.

Peeta and I lag behind the trio shooting weary glances back and forth. He laces his fingers through mine and his free hand rubs my belly quickly giving me a sad smile. He is thinking the same thing I am, our time is up we failed.

We enter the living room and find that they have set up a small folding table. A machine with a small screen that looks similar to the one I had used on me after the games, and several over instruments. I start to panic and I feel as if my stomach has dropped down to my knees. This can't be happening. It has barely been enough time for me to prove him my love. We haven't had the chance. There aren't any events or parties that we can parade around our love and appease the Capitol. This isn't fair, bur really what is fair about this whole situation.

"Miss Everdeen would you please take a seat on the table," the shorter man with brown hair says. I nod once and head towards the table, Peeta never lets go of my hand.

The short man starts to rattle of different questions like how I'm eating. Have I had any fatigue, sleeping patterns, and every other detail of my life. He then orders me to lay back and pull up my shirt. I start to prepare for the worst, and as I do, the baby gives a solid kick, and moves around some more while the person rubs the gel on my taunt skin. He must feel one of the kicks because he jumps slightly, and then makes a disgusting shyly smile. I just want run away from him, but unfortunately, there isn't any where to go.

He takes the small wand and slides it over my stomach until there is a beep, and then the faint sound of the heart beat. It sounds so much stronger then last time, and when the screen projects the picture of the baby, my world stops. I stare wide eyed at my, _our _baby. I can see the head, feet, arms, and it actually looks like a baby. My panic starts again that they will give us this tease, and then kill the baby. Let us see how good it's doing and that it's healthy, and then take it all away. I look over to Peeta with tears in his eyes. At first I think he is having similar thoughts, but the tears aren't from sadness, they are from joy. He looks so happy. Even with the tears running down his face and considering how dangerous this could become. He pulls his eyes away from the screen and down to mine.

He leans down and kisses my forehead and whispers, "amazing" into my ear.

"You are twenty weeks along, and progressing nicely. I'm sure President Snow will be very happy with your condition," the short troll says and cleans my stomach.

"That is all for now. I'm sure the president will be in touch for anything further," the tall one says and I hop off the table right into Peeta's side.

Peeta wraps his arm around my shoulders, and within minutes, the three have packed their equipment and are out the door. I hear the hum of their car start and move away from our house, and I finally breathe once I can no longer hear the engine.

I shuffle into the kitchen dazed and get a cup of water. I can feel Peeta watching me as I gulp down my drink in three sips. I set the cup down on the counter and freeze. There is a crisp white envelope addressed to me lying perfectly innocent next to my glass. I hadn't even noticed one of them slip it there while they were packing up.

"What is it," Peeta asks and moves across the kitchen to me.

"I don't know."

I carefully pick up the envelope and slowly rip open the tap. Inside is a folded letter. There isn't much writing, but it still shakes me to my core.

_Dear Miss Everdeen,_

_ Our agreement still stands, and I have not been impressed. You don't have much more time to prove yourself. After all, how long should it take if you really do love him?_

_ -President Snow_

I push the letter towards Peeta, and let him read it too. Once he is finished he sets it back down on the counter, and we both are silent, not knowing what to say. What could we do differently? We live together. I barely go more then two hours without seeing him, and we out in town together a couple times a week. We aren't being broadcasted on television twenty-fours hours a day, so how could he truly know what happens behind closed doors. For all he knows I could have jumped his bones every day since we got back from the games.

"What are we going to do," he says and places his hands on my shoulders. I lean forward and bury my face into his chest.

"I don't," I say my voice muffle against the soft cotton of his shirt. "I guess we have to step it up."

"What?"

"Step it up, I guess us living together isn't enough. Us trying to be normal isn't good enough," I state.

"Katniss I don't want to put on a show for him," he says seriously and I take a step back.

"Peeta we don't have a choice."

"I don't want to act out because he wants us too. I want us to be real."

"I'm sorry, but we're doing this for the baby. We have plenty of time for us after we prove him wrong," I say sternly and Peeta nods his head in defeat. I don't like this any more then he does, but I'm desperate. However, the look in his eyes is killing me. I feel like I have hurt him more then its worth. I know he loves me, and I'm starting to feel for him too. Some days I can't think of any reasons why I shouldn't love him, but other days I'm not sure. Would I feel like this if I wasn't pregnant? Am I just using him for comfort? My feelings confuse me and scare me. I wish I could sort my own feelings out. I haven't had the chance to think about anything without having someone pressuring me to do what they want. I have the urge to say the hell with Snow and do what we want, but I can't. We're being used as pawns, and I have no control over any of it.

"Peeta every time I kiss you, grab your hand, or hug you it's because I want to. It isn't because someone a thousand miles away wants me to. It's not because of the baby either. I want to be with you. I want to be near you. I care so much about you, and I don't want to hurt you," I whisper and brush the side of his face, clearing the hair out of his eyes.

He shakes his head. Either to clear the bad thoughts or to disagree with me, but I'm not completely sure because he leans down and gives me a kiss. "I know and I'll be right besides you no matter what we are."

"Thank you," I sigh and rest my head against his shoulder.

We stand there in the middle of the kitchen for a long time, both holding each other in silence. We both know that we are in this alone. No mentor or escort could save us; we have to dig our selves out of this hole.

Eventually he suggests that we get out the house and take a walk. We both change and soon we are out the door walking down the path towards town. Our entwined hands swinging in between us, and our steps in sync as we stroll through the coal encrusted streets, while skinny children run past us. Even though it is summer, town seems so gray and dismal compared to the well-trimmed Victor's Village.

We eventually wander towards the meadow and Peeta smirks down at me. "Don't think its going to happen again."

"I know I'm just teasing," he assures me.

We find flat spot in the field of tall grass and Peeta pulls me down into his lap. We sit in the warm afternoon sun while the breeze moves the tall grass in waves. The leaves are just starting to turn to brown and oranges, and soon the cold days will come when I can't get out of the house. Of course, now I don't have to worry about food, but I will have a baby to take care of.

I take a deep breath and roll my head back. Peeta fiddles with the end of my braid, wrapping it around his fingers, and then unraveling it again. "Do you think they have secret cameras in the Districts? They have them in the games what would stop them out here," he whispers in my ear.

I mull over this idea. It seems like something the Capitol would do. Keeps an eye on their laborers making sure they produce and stay well behaved. They probably have the houses in Victors Village bugged too. I'll have to see what Haymitch says about that.

"I wouldn't doubt it," I mumble. "Do you think we should start watching what we say in the house?"

"Wouldn't hurt would it?"

"No I don't think it would."

After the visit from Snow's people, we're tightly lipped around the house. We stay away from the topic of Snow. We take walks almost every day. Most walking through town laughing, kissing, and making a big show of how '_happy' _we are. When in reality we are both spent. We are both tired of looking over our shoulders and analyzing everything we do. The real relationship has taken a stand still, and I don't think it will continue until we are in the clear.

Peeta stays home with me everyday. He bakes, cooks, and we both clean. As we get closer to the Victory Tour, we both have to come up with a talent. Peeta of course chose painting, but I have nothing. Considering archery is illegal and I will not sing. I have tried everything from instruments, Peeta trying to teach me how to paint, and Effie giving me suggestions. However, Cinna comes up with a great idea, clothing design. He calls me twice a month to see if I need any more clothing to accommodate my expanding stomach, so now he has started working on my own clothing line. He told me not to worry everything will be taken care of.

Besides talking to him about my 'talent' and sitting watching Peeta bake or paint I do nothing. I am nearing the seventh month and I am starting to feel very uncomfortable. I can only sit a certain way, and I can only sleep a certain way. I hate it because I can't use Peeta's chest as a pillow, but for now his arm will have to do. I can't remember the last time I saw my toes and my balance is long gone.

Like right now as I sit on the padded kitchen chair, I want to get up and move to the couch because our walk this morning felt longer then usual and a nap would be great, but I don't feel like pulling my rotund self up.

Peeta is busily working on some dough for a new pastry innovation he said I would love, which I don't doubt. Any food is good food. He is stirring and tasting and I finally get his attention. "Care to give me a lift?"

"Sure thing," he says and easily pulls me up with one hand. I walk into the living room with him following grabbing a blanket and extra pillows. He helps me get comfortable and then sits on the floor next to the couch.

"I was thinking about a nursery," he says.

"We should start to prepare," I agree and he continues.

"I was wondering if you would let me do the whole room and let it be a surprise to you."

"What ever you have in mind will be perfect anyway."

"Okay," he grins and stretches up to give me a kiss. "I'll start tomorrow. The room right across the hall from us."

"Okay," I yawn and he looks so excited. I close my eyes and it doesn't take long for my drowsiness to win over.

The next morning after we have our daily walk through town to please Snow, Peeta disappears upstairs to start his work. He comes downstairs for lunch with smudges of paint covering his shirt and pants. I try to get him to tell me something he is doing, but no success.

"Why don't you get out of the house," he suggest while finishing his sandwich.

"Where exactly would I go? Haymitch isn't one for company." Peeta laughs and takes our plates to the sink.

"Prim will be home from school soon, and I know she misses seeing you every day. Go and invite them over for dinner I should be done painting by then."

"Now I have to get dressed," I complain.

Peeta shakes his head at me and ushers me towards the stairs, "No peeking."

"No promises."

As soon as I walk through the front door of my mother's and Prim's house I'm attacked. Prim has her arms wrapped tightly around me with her head flush against my stomach. She talks to the baby and shushes me when I try to talk to her.

"How have you been feeling?" Prim ask pulling me towards the kitchen.

"Alright nothing major ," I shrug and sit down across from her. Her hair seems longer without it braided and she looks much older without it too. Her blonde waves go down past her shoulders. She looks so happy and healthy.

My mother sets a steaming cup of tea in front of me. "That's good have you had any pains," my mother says and I can't help but feel like I'm at the doctors office. Both of them in healer mood won't let me slide with vague answers.

"No just sore. It's getting harder to sleep."

"That's normal. When are you two leaving for the tour?" My mother asks me.

"End of this month."

"Are you excited to see the other districts," Prim asks.

"I guess I would rather stay here."

"I know, but I'm excited to see all the pretty dresses Cinna will put you in." Prim then starts to babble about dresses and colors. Then she starts talking about the parties and all the other festivities that come with the tour.

I don't won't to ruin her happiness by telling her how I'm dreading to stand in front of the districts which tributes I killed, flaunting how three of us got out, but there friend or child did not. I don't know how I am going to handle saying lies and expressing are '_gratitude_' towards the Capitol. The remakes and wardrobe will be enough for me to lose it.

I sit through another hour or two of her gushing over the tour, the baby, and rambling off a million different baby names. Eventually I get to the point of inviting them over for dinner and of course, my mother and Prim accept. Peeta has obviously worked very hard on this meal. Even though said it was no trouble at all. He receives many compliments from Prim and my mom. Peeta also made a desert and after they help us with cleaning the kitchen, they make their way back home. I wander up to bed before Peeta. I shower and change into one of his undershirts before burrowing myself under the overs. I find a comfortable spot and with the weight of the heavy quilt, I start to drift off, but as soon as my eyes drop closed, the baby starts to move. I sigh and roll onto my back. The movements usually starts every night, and last long enough to make it hard to fall back asleep. I rub my hand over the movements and wish that it would stop so I could get some sleep. As I run my hand up and down my stomach, I start to hum. It sounds like a song, but which one I can't remember. After my father died singing was something I saved for Prim. Soon the words come to me with the tune, and softly and lowly, I start to sing. I'm so focused on the song that I don't notice when the movements die down to a slight fluttering. I smile to myself and turn back onto my side, and I'm met with a pair of blue eyes. "You're so beautiful," he says and walks to the bed. He sits down on the very edge, and looks down at me. I can feel my cheeks tint pink and lips morph into a smile that I can't control. "You're just saying that to make me feel better. I'm getting fat and I have stretch marks. It isn't what you consider beautiful." Peeta laughs and shakes his head. "You're not fat you are carrying our baby, and those marks show that the baby has grown and is still growing," he says and receives my finest scowl. "Scowl all you want, but I will always think you're beautiful."

"Even when I get so big I can't walk?"

"Even when you can't walk I will think you're beautiful."

With that, he leans down and crashes his lips onto mine. I pull him towards me, so he is hovering over top of me. Our kisses are deep and make my toes curl. His hands slowly inch up my shirt, and I move my hands from his hair to the hem of his shirt. I give it a little tug upwards and he pulls it over his head. My eyes scan over his board chest, and he slowly leans down to kiss the side of my neck.

"Like what you see," he whispers and placing light kisses up my neck to my jaw and then the corner of my mouth.

I'm blushing furiously when I admit, "maybe."

He smiles and gives me one final long kiss that seems to linger on my lips. He slides down next to me, and he motions for me to get closer. I end up lying on top of him with our legs tangled, his arms wrapped around me, and my head in the crook of his neck. Slowly both of us fall asleep, but not before I hear him whisper an 'I love you' under his breath.

The frozen ground crunches under my feet as I move under the barren trees. I pull my scarf tighter around my neck and continue my hike towards our meeting place. I haven't been out in the woods since before the reaping, but I snapped. I needed an escape. I spent the last week cleaning and pacing around the house. Peeta finished painting the nursery a bright yellow and I have spent the whole month since organizing all the things Effie has sent on the train.

I finally make it to the rock and sit down against a tree. I'm completely exhausted and my feet feel like they are going to bust out of my boots. They have swelled up twice the normal size. I am now eight months pregnant. Only one more month until the baby is born and I have no idea what Snow is going to do. We have gone out of our way to be public, but nothing since the letter.

I pull the thermos Peeta made me with tea from my bag and wrap my cold hands around it. Peeta fought me so hard about coming out here, but I needed too. This could be the last time I get to be in my woods.

I don't know how long I wait until I hear a twig snap to my right and then a hand clamp down on my shoulder. I look up at Gale and I don't know how I get to my feet and pull him in for a hug. I have missed my best friend. He is like a brother and I missed our hunting time.

I pull out of the hug because I don't want to give him the wrong idea, but I am happy to see him.

"When does the tour leave?" He asks with an edge in his voice.

"They should get here at noon." He nods his head.

"Care to join me? It would just be the snare line. It is much shorter then before. Working in the mines has had its drawbacks."

I mull over his offer. It was hard enough getting out here but one last time would be nice.

"I'm a lot slower these days. I wouldn't want to be a burden," I say and he shakes his head.

"Come on." He holds out his hand and I hesitant before taking it.

Gale does all of the work and I just follow him. Whenever he has to reset a snare, I rest and he laughs when he has to pull me to my feet.

"You're enjoying this a little too much Hawthorne, exactly like Peeta," I grumble.

"I never thought I would see the day when Katniss Everdeen can barely walk. Actually, it's more like a waddle," he teases and I try to punch his arm, but I miss and almost fall over. Gale catches me and sets my back on my feet. I scowl and move on towards the next snare.

He finishes and we walk in silence towards the fence. When we get there he says," I'll watch after Prim. I'll make sure she keeps out of trouble."

I give him a smile. "Thank you and be careful yourself. I'll see you when we get back."

I gave him one last hug and then find a hole big enough under the fence and start back home. I don't walk more then forty yards from the fence when I feel an arm wrap around my waist. I smile when Peeta buries his head into my neck.

"How long have you been waiting out here?"

"I followed you out of the house," he admits.

"You didn't have to. I am perfectly capable of walking home."

"I didn't want you to have to walk all the way home," he tells me but before I can ask how I'm going to get home without walking. He scoops me up into his arms.

"Peeta stop I can walk! I hate when you do this!" I try to scold him, but I end up squealing like a little kid.

"Yeah you hate this," he grins and trudges on towards home.

"Fine I hope I break your back," I huff and this makes Peeta laugh even more.

We make it home and Peeta is walking up the front steps with me in his arms, and the front door swings open.

"Look at these two! Aren't they just adorable?"

Let the tour begin.

_**There it is! Please leave a review! **_


	8. Chapter 8: Tour

Effie instantly pulls us apart to different rooms so we can stay on schedule. My prep team fawns over me and how much I've grown. I force smiles and remind myself that they think I like all of this attention. It's not fair to them for me to chew their heads off. They think I love the Capitol and I am so excited for the tour. That could be the farthest thing from the truth.

My prep team continues to chatter away as they pluck and polish me to perfection. I do notice some complaining about shortages in the Capitol. They complain about not having enough seafood for their parties, and not having the newest music chip. I keep my opinions to myself about their complaints, but I do find it interesting.

Once they have gotten me down to beauty base zero, Cinna steps in and I have missed him dearly. He looks very much the same, the same gold eyeliner and plain clothes.

"How are you?" He asks me and both of us take a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Stressed and worried," I huff. "I don't really feel up to traveling around for two weeks."

"I figured as much that's why I made sure all the shoes are flats and every dress is loose and roomy. I'll also lighten up on the make up. Wouldn't want the girl on fire to burn herself out?"

"Thank you," I grin. "Shall we get moving so Effie doesn't yell about the again schedule? I swear one of these times I'm going to snap."

Cinna laughs and unzips the first of many garment bags to come.

When I'm finished I find Peeta, Haymitch, camera people, and both prep teams downstairs. The preps touch up on our make up while Effie coaches us about big smiles, speaking clearly, and be ourselves. Alternatively, be my better self.

Right as we are about to walk outside Peeta finds my hand and leans in close. "Anytime you feel stuck or don't know what to say grab my hand. I'll try to help you. We do this together."

"Together," I whisper back and he gives me a kiss on the forehead.

Effie opens the front door and practically pushes us out. There are bright lights and multiple cameras. Peeta puts on his dazzling smiles and I follow suit. Some how we can here the crowd I'm assuming is in the Capitol. I squeeze Peeta's hand, and as he looks down at me, I reach up on my tiptoes and crash my lips to his, setting the tone for the whole trip right now. I pull back with a cocky grin on my face. Snow is going to have to see this is real.

After waving to the camera, we're lead to the train station. I board the train with shaky legs. The memories from the reaping the games are so fresh. I stretch my hand out behind looking for Peeta. I find his hand quickly and hold on for dear life. This is going to be so much harder then I thought.

We both excuse ourselves to our compartment and I immediately take off the nice outfit Cinna put me in and find some softer pants and t-shirt. Peeta changes too and orders some food while I go to the bathroom.

I awkwardly climb onto the bed and prop myself against the headboard with a bunch of pillows. Peeta waits until the food arrives to get comfortable. He puts the full tray on the bed and fills me a plate of roast, potatoes, noodles, and peas. I devour the meal, and then I eat another helping and then a piece of cake with creamy filling and chocolate icing.

"That was really good," I comment and Peeta hums in agreement.

"You ate so much. I mean look at you," he says and pokes my stomach. I laugh and bat away his hand, but I feel a kick or a jab close to where he poked me. The baby has been moving, but that was a more focused hit.

"Peeta poke me again, but then keep your hand there."

He looks at me strangely, but after he pokes my belly and feels the kick under his palm, his face lights up. He keeps the game of tag going until the baby stops responding and I'm grateful because I feel like a punching bag.

We both burrow down into the fluffy bed and do nothing. We don't talk. We don't move. We just relax. I forget about what tomorrow is going to be like, and focus on Peeta. The steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes, and how warm and safe I feel in his arms. It's honestly the only place in the world I want to be right now.

I doze in and out of sleep and Peeta slowly strokes my stomach or run his fingers through my hair. We share a small kiss before saying goodnight and both of us silently praying for no nightmares tonight.

_I'm in a white room. I can hear a beeping and crying, but everything is fuzzy. I try to move, but I'm strapped in place. I can't see anyone else, so I strain my neck to the side. I see a baby swaddled in a blanket. I can't tell if the baby is a boy or a girl, but I can see it's eyes. That is our baby. Only one other person in the world has those same exact eyes, and that's Peeta. _

_ I try to yell or make a noise but nothing comes out. I try to move again, but I can't. I try to do anything to get there before they hurt my baby. I stop for a moment and that's when Snow enters the room. He ignores me and walks over to my baby. Gently picks up the squirming infant, he admires the face and then with an empty hand pulls out a large knife, and places it right under the baby's chin. I try to scream or move, but the only thing I can do is watch and cry. I see him start to cut and the crimson red pours from the perfectly pink skin. I feel something clamp down on me. I can feel myself starting to move, but something is stopping me from get out of this bed and killing Snow. _

My eyes fly open. I draw in a big breath, and then start sobbing. It was just dream, Peeta is holding me and whispering something into my hear, but I can't hear him. Having Peeta holding me is fine for now. I reach down to feel my stomach, and I poke it a couple times until I get a kick I can feel, and I finally start to calm down. The baby is safe inside of me. Snow will have to kill me before he does anything to my baby.

I wipe the sweat and tears off my face and slowly get out of bed. Shuffling to the bathroom, I can hear Peeta hobbling behind me. I get to the sink and splash some water on my face. I brace myself against the counter and hang my head over the white sink. That was the worst nightmare I have had in months. I have had some very weird dreams, but nothing that terrifying. I look over at a concerned Peeta leaning against the doorway.

"Want to talk about it?"

He always asks this question after a nightmare. I don't want to relive that nightmare, but I need to let it out. I found that this is better then keeping everything bottled up inside.

"I watched Snow kill our baby," I squeak and I can feel the tears gathering at the corners of my eyes. Peeta looks at me confused. "He killed the baby. I couldn't move, you weren't there, and it had your eyes, Peeta. The same blue and everything, I can't do this."

I break down and sink down to the floor. I wrap my arms around my stomach and cry. I feel Peeta next to me, but I don't reach out to him. I cradle my baby dreading the day it's born. When it's inside me, I can keep it safe. No one could take it away from me, but out in the world. So many things could go wrong.

I continue to cry until I start to hiccup and I have a pounding headache. I look up at Peeta and I realize that he was crying too. His red-rimed eyes hide nothing. I try to stand up, but fail miserably. Peeta gets up, but he can't pull me up with one leg. I watch him go back, get his prosthetic, come back and hull me up to my feet.

I wrap my arms around his neck and overcome with such thankfulness that he is here with me. If he would have died in that arena, I don't think I would have been able to keep going. I'm would not have been strong enough to push through this alone. Still with him here, it's hard, and I hate this feeling of being so powerless. I'm going to crack! This is too much for me. I can handle feeding a family, but protecting them from Snow is some sort of impossible.

"Peeta I can't do this anymore. I can't live in fear. I'm scared of being a bad mother, failing our child, or hurting our families. Some much is riding on me, and I can't do it," I choke and he slowly rocks us back and forth.

"I know this is a lot, but you can do it. You're so strong. I would do anything to change this, but I can't. I love you so much Katniss. You will be a great mother, and our families will always support us. I hate to see you hurting like this."

I can feel more tears starting just from him saying that. He has been here for me, and never complained. Stood up for me, protected me, and has loved me. I haven't done anything for him in return. I care for him so much, and I couldn't live without him. I see no future without him. I need my boy with the bread. So when I tilt my head up and whisper, "I love you Peeta." I don't miss the relief and pure bliss that washes over his face. He kisses me so hard and long, I forget how to breathe, his salty tears mixing with my own. It is the best kiss we have ever shared. Those three words that I have struggled to get out for so long, rolled so easily off my tongue. I have loved him for longer then I think. All my confusion for how I felt about him. All the times I was scared about what I felt about him. It was love all along. I love him as a person, as the father of my child, and as my partner. I don't know what to call him. To call Peeta my boyfriend feels so childish, and he is so much more than that. He is my Peeta. I know I haven't made a mistake. I am doing this because I love him. I absolutely love him and I am doing this for me, no one else.

The next morning Effie rouses us early, and I'm scolded when I sleep an extra twenty minutes while Peeta showered.

"You must get up! We are going to be behind!" She said and I just rolled over onto my side to face away from her.

I heard the water shut off and Peeta came out of the bathroom and some how persuaded Effie to leave me alone.

"How did you get her to leave?" I asked once I rolled out of bed.

"I gently reminded her that you are eight months pregnant and very grouchy when you don't get enough sleep."

"Thank you. I guess I should go to the other compartment and surrender myself to Cinna."

"I guess," he said coming over and giving me a kiss. "See you soon."

Prep that morning is just as Cinna promised short and basic. He lets my hair down naturally and lets me chose between a green knee length dress and a blue one. I go with the green one. Effie collects me from the room and soon after I am ready, we pull into District 11's station. I seek out Peeta's hand and try to suppress my thoughts about Rue. We haven't even made it off the train and my composure is wavering.

Haymitch, Effie, Peeta, and I escorted from the train to an armored vehicle by armed Peacekeepers. There are three peacekeepers in the car with us and I feel more like a criminal then a Victor. Peeta keeps me close. Effie huffs about it all the way to the justice building. I wait for Haymitch to say something about Effie's outrageous wig or a snide comment towards me, but he keeps quiet. He hasn't had much to say at all recently, but I have notice that the smell of alcohol is almost gone. Maybe he's waiting for the good stuff from the different districts, I don't know.

Effie and Haymitch do give us some prep for the speeches. Effie gives us cue cards, but Peeta takes his and mine. I give him a smile in gratitude and he kisses my forehead whispering, "careful" as he pulls away. I nod and we unload from the car.

The air is warm outside and I realize how south we have gone in a day. I hold onto Peeta and we follow behind Haymitch into the building. The Justice Building is aged and has ivy grown up the side of the marble structure. Inside it smells wonderful near the kitchen where the feast is being prepared, but it doesn't completely mask the smell of mildew.

We're taken towards the entrance which will lead out to the verandah- Effie calls it that- where are speeches will take place in front of the town square of people. I can hear the anthem beginning to play over loud speakers outside. Nervous sweat gathering on my palms, I break contact with Peeta and move my hands to message my aching back muscles. I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth to calm myself and prepare to put on the act of my best self.

Peeta looks at me concerned, but before he can ask, I hear the mayor announce our names. I latch onto his left hand and the large doors open. Effie nudges us forward with the advice of "Big smiles!"

Slowly we move forward towards the loud applause of the crowd. It isn't the yelling or whistling like in the Capitol and the clapping dies quickly once we get to the microphone. There are large banners hung to hide the neglected state of the buildings. The square is huge, and packed with people, however only a fraction that truly live here.

I look out and see the platforms that hold the families of the fallen tributes, and I'm unprepared. I see Rue's family. Both of her parents with tear stained faces clutching onto many younger siblings who all resemble Rue so closely.

I can feel my throat starting to close up with grief, and I give Peeta's hand a hard squeeze just as he starts the scripted speech. He goes through his part and just as it comes to mine, I don't have a voice. Thankfully, Peeta finishes my part and then moves onto his personal comments. He concludes with his and I still have nothing to say. I tried to write something before the tour, but I finished with a blank piece of paper every time.

There is a silent moment and I feel like the whole crowd is waiting on me. I look back over to Rue's family and I know I have to say something. Peeta said wonderful things about Rue and Thresh, but they don't look happy or changed in any way.

I move quickly up to the microphone. "I want to thank the tributes of District Eleven. Both of them saved my life. I wouldn't be here if Thresh hadn't spared my life. I only had spoken to him once, but I respected him. I respected him for being true to himself, and not playing the Games on anyone else's terms." I look towards Rue's family now and muster up every ounce of strength I have to get these words out before I crumple into a sobbing mess.

"Rue I did know. I think of her all the time. Everything that is beautiful brings her to mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the meadow by my house, the mockingjays that sing in the trees. I also see her in my little sister, Prim." The tears and now sliding down my face, but I am almost finished. "Thank you for your children, and the bread."

With the last sentence, I turn around to Peeta, but stop when I hear someone whistle Rue's four-note tune. The tune that meant we were both safe in the arena. I turn back to the crowd and find an old man. I meet his tried eyes and then in unison everyone in the crowd presses their three middle fingers to their lips and extends them to me. The last good-bye I gave Rue in the arena.

The baby picks this time to give me a solid kick. I place one hand on my baby and hold tight onto Peeta's hand with the other. I know this will only worsen things with Snow, but I can't make a move to stop it or show that I am against it. The thought of them saluting a girl who defied the Capitol will not go over well. I might have ruined everything and it's only the first stop.

Peeta leads me back inside the building, and I feel so lightheaded. "Peeta I need to sit."

He doesn't question before helping to ease myself down onto the floor right inside the Justice Building. I don't care if it's improper, but I can't stand or I might pass out. Just before the doors shut, I see two Peacekeepers drag the old man up onto the verandah, forcing him to his knees, and without hesitating putting a bullet through his head.

I gasp and turn fast enough so I don't vomit all over myself. Peeta must have seen it too because he easily scoops me up as several Peacekeepers step in front of the doors.

"Sorry she hasn't been feeling well today," he says smoothly acting as we hadn't just seen a man shot in cold blood.

The peacekeepers leave just as Effie, Cinna, Portia, and Haymitch swarm us.

"What happened? The feed went dead right after Katniss' speech and Haymitch thought he heard a gun shot! Did she get sick! What happened?" Effie hurries over to us.

"Katniss got sick, but I think a truck back fired," Peeta lies just as two more shots ring out in the square. I wonder whom they shot now. Was it one of Rue or Thresh's family members?

"Come on you two lets let Katniss lie down," Haymitch says and waves for Peeta to follow.

We go through many hallways and twisting staircases until we find an abandoned room with dust covering all the random pieces of furniture. Haymitch clears off a small couch for me to rest. This room hasn't be touched in years. I know Haymitch has only been here once before, but he found this without any trouble.

"What was that?" Haymitch paces back and forth.

"Snow threatened us." Peeta starts. "He doesn't believe that Katniss acted out of love in the arena. He thought she was just doing it out of rebellion. He said that if she doesn't prove to him that she loves me. He…" he stutters. "He's going to kill the baby or something else. What just happened out there wasn't part of the plan."

"I figured he did. It would explain why the sudden change in your public appearances." He mutters. "I know why you pulled out those berries, but Snow has bigger problems. Most of them starter when you pulled out those berries. Snow is scared. He has Districts ready to revolt and you two meant to be the distraction. You two have to make everyone forget about the real problems. Whatever you have to do to make him happy, do it."

"Are the Districts really ready to fight back?" I ask and Haymitch nods.

"From what I've heard, yes. Now for the rest of this trip, hell the rest of your lives if you want to survive you must play your parts and be a nice little family that has nothing against the Capitol. Can you handle that?"

"We will do whatever it takes," Peeta reassures our mentor.

"Good now get sweetheart something to eat."

I let the warm water running down my back praying that my prep team will never collect for me remake. I have caused so much trouble. At least one man died today because of me. Snow already gave warnings with Gale's whipping. I never imagined me wanting to survive would cause so much damage. I never intended for it to stir things up.

I hear a knock on the door and I begrudgingly turn off the water. I wrap myself in a towel and plop down on the closed toilet. I zone out looking at the titles floor when the doorknob twist open.

"Sorry I was…" I start but stop when I see that it's Peeta. "Hi"

"Hey are you feeling okay?" He asks crouching down in front of me. He takes both my hands on his.

"No," I confess.

"I'm sorry. I'll see if Effie will let us leave early tonight."

"Okay."

"Do you really love me?" When he says this, I'm taken back.

"I said it, didn't I?"

"Yeah I know you did, but do you really love me," he pushes.

"I do love you Peeta. I really do."

"That's all I needed to hear," he whispers and stands up giving me a kiss on the cheek.

When Peeta leaves confused in the bathroom when my prep team comes in. They are all bubbling over with excitement over the dinner. None of them has any idea what happened today.

I keep seeing the man dragged up the stairs repeatedly in my mind. Each time I know it's my fault. If I had just died in the arena, I wouldn't be in this mess now. I survived mainly because I was pregnant and Peeta would have never let me die as long as he was alive, but did it mean safety for us? No. We are in more danger now more than ever before.

I practically run after Cinna releases me from prep. I need Peeta. The baby keeps kicking my ribs I started getting some of those practice contractions, and I feel like crawling in a hole and never coming out. I need him to carry me through tonight and get back onto the train as soon as possible.

I find him talking with Haymitch and I instantly loop my arm through his. I must look miserable because he kisses my forehead, and unhooks his arm from mine and slowly starts to knead my lower back with his hands. I melt at his touch.

"Thank you so much," I say and he just smiles and finishes off the massage with going all the way up to my shoulders.

"No problem. Are you sure, you're feeling alright? Effie was very understanding when I asked if we could leave earlier."

"I'm fine. Once we are sitting down I will feel much better." I try to wave him off, but he sees right through me.

The dinner is a blur the only thing I focus on is Peeta always touching me. Whether he is holding my hand, standing close enough that our shoulders are touching, or when he sneaks small kisses while we eat. He never takes both his eyes off me.

When we are lying back in bed on the train heading to the next district, I curl up next Peeta while he lightly caresses my stomach. I don't dare to sleep, because the nightmares will surly haunt me tonight. I stay awake by the baby kicking, and Peeta talking softly to me about the baby.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you looked tonight?" He whispers wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer so that I half lying on top of him.

I get comfortable with my head on his shoulder, and roll my eyes. "Yeah I'm about as beautiful as a whale."

I can feel Peeta shaking his head at me. "No you really are. Try to get some sleep now," he whispers.

"Please don't let go of me," I whimper. "Nightmares…" I start but he stops me.

"I know, just rest."

The tour continues and I feel the pressure building. We stay to the scripts, but every district I feel a boiling. The crowds push forward and take a long time to settle down. Some yell at us and tell us to drop the script. A few times, we have to stop and wait for the peacekeepers to remove citizens. Each day we get closer to the Capitol and I feel so hopeless. I barely sleep from the nightmares. I only eat enough so Peeta will stop nagging me about how I have to eat. He even goes as far as making sure there are cheese buns at every meal.

I cling to him and let him do the talking. He always greets the people Effie tells us to talk with such charm; I'm polite, but not much more. I feel bad that I am leaning so heavily on Peeta, but I feel terrible. I cry at random times and whenever Haymitch even looks at me the wrong way, I snap.

We are getting to the Capitol tomorrow and I know I have to be my best. However, when Peeta wakes me up early it is starting on the wrong foot. He kisses me awake just as food appears next to the bed.

"It smells amazing, but sleep is better," I groaned and rolled onto my back. Lying on my back doesn't last long because I feel like my belly is going to crush me.

I can hear Peeta moving the dishes around, I open one eye, and I'm met with an overflowing plate of bacon and cheese buns. My stomach wins and I struggle to prop myself against the pillows. I take the plate, using my belly as a table, and munch on the crispy bacon.

"I knew bacon would you get you." He says grinning at me as he works on his own plate.

"The baby wanted it not me. I wanted sleep, but we both know the baby doesn't like that."

"Sure" he teases.

We eat and then separate for prep. At one point, the train stops and Peeta pokes him head.

"Hey we stopped for refueling, could I steal her for a minute?" Peeta asks my team. They all nod eagerly letting me free.

I'm about to ask where we're going when he opens the door and steps down off the train. He helps me down and starts to walk away from the train. We make it a couple hundred yards away when Peeta finally stops and looks down at me.

"Today I'm going to do something you won't like very much."

"Peeta, what are you going to do?"

"I'm… going to ask you to marry me." His last words hand in the air and I have to take a step back. Marriage is huge. Something I have feared, but why fear it now. I only use to fear it because I didn't want to have kids, because marriage led to children and I never wanted to bring an innocent life into this horrific world, but everything has changed now. I'm pregnant, we will have to be together for the rest of our lives anyway, and I love him. I never thought I would let love in, but Peeta broke down my barriers.

However, is he doing this because of Snow? I thought he said he didn't want to put on an act? Now he wants to.

"Peeta don't just do this for Snow. We don't have to do this," I say. He smiles and shakes his head.

"I'm not Katniss." He then bends down onto one knee and takes my left hand. "Katniss I have loved and admired you since I was five years old. I watched you every day and helped you whenever I could. You having my child, well that's something I could only dream about, but now it's real. You saying you loving me, well that's a thing I never thought I would hear either. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to wake up next to you, fall asleep next to you, and be able to call you mine. Katniss Everdeen will you marry me? Not for anyone else, but for real?"

I am left mouthing hanging wide open. He is actually asking me. No act, no cameras, just us. I can feel the tears prick the corner of my eyes as I slowly nod. "I love you Peeta."

He jumps up and wraps me in the tightest huge kissing me. "I'm sorry I don't have a ring, but I needed to do this for us. I'm going to do it later on camera, but I needed this."

"Peeta I could never live without you," I whisper. "Besides we have done everything except this." I motion towards my stomach and he laughs.

"I guess we have." He looks back at the train and frowns. "We should get back."

"Yeah," I agree and he scoops me. "Let me go!"

"I'm never letting go of you now!" He grunts carrying me back to the train.

The minute we arrive at the Capitol it is chaos. Effie introducing us to important people, and I have to smile and act as if I care. We got photos and sign autographs. Strangers keep fawning over my stomach and I have to restrain myself from smacking their hands away. I want to keep my child as far away from the Capitol as possible.

Right before we do our first interview with Caesar. Peeta and I decide to fill Haymitch in on our plan.

"So you are going to propose to Sweetheart?" Haymitch says looking at Peeta.

"Yes I am. Don't you think this is going to help?" Peeta ask.

Haymitch stays tight-lipped and nods. "It might be the best thing you two have done yet. Just make sure your reaction is up to Capitol standards," he says pointing at me.

"Don't worry," I huff.

As I said, I acted as if this is the only thing I have ever wanted in my life. I muster up some tears of joy and kiss Peeta until Cesar has to cough and pull us apart. Peeta does have a ring and it's simple with a round diamond set in the middle of little diamonds. I have never been anyone for jewelry, but I do love the ring he has picked. If I move my hand just the right way in the light, the middle of the diamond looks just like a spark. For a second it gains an orange and red hue, and then nothing.

When the crowd settles after our announcement President Snow makes an appearance and makes a promise to throw us a huge Capitol wedding after the baby is born. While President Snow is talking and congratulating us, I look for his answer, but nothing. I'm eager to see if us getting married will change his mind or if he made up his mind already.

Tonight is the night of President's Snows party. It will be the biggest event so far, and our last stop before returning home.

On our way to the party, Effie is in the highest spirits about how everyone will be attending, and how happy she is for our engagement. I am happy that Peeta asked me, but the actual wedding in the Capitol is another thing.

We arrive at the mansion and it is incredible, hundreds of people crowding the marble rooms. There are at least fifty tables of food, and there is a small orchestra floating on clouds above the dance floor. I imagine it's rigged with wires and such, but it does give the look of them floating in mid-air. Effie leads Peeta and me around to different people. I'm forced to make conversation, most only want details on my pregnancy and question about the baby. I keep it polite, but my answers very short.

Eventually we get away and I pull Peeta onto the dance floor. This is the only place people will let us be for now.

We quickly find a rhythm, but I keep stepping on Peeta's feet. He just smiles and laughs, but it makes me scowl even more.

"I can't see my feet, so I don't really know where they are related to yours," I mumble and he pulls me closer.

I lean my head against his chest and look down at my stomach pressed up against him. "How can you even get your arms around me?"

"I just have really stretch…" He teases and kisses the top of my head.

We continue in this position just swaying back and forth. Peeta holding me tight and our baby wedge in between us. I can block out all the other people at this party and pretend it's just us.

My dream is short lived when Effie finds us and drags us to meet more people. I lose interest until she introduces us to Plutarch Havensbee the new Head Gamemaker.

"May I steal your beautiful fiancée for a dance," he asks Peeta and of course, Peeta says yes. Why can't he be more like me with people for once and shoot him down?

I shoot him an ungrateful look and he quickly adds. "Might want to make it quick I don't think it would be good for her to be dancing for to long."

"I have to agree," Plutarch says and holds out his hand. I hesitantly take it and let him lead me to the floor.

Unlike how I danced with Peeta, I keep the gamemaker arms length away, and he gets my point.

We talk about the party and then the games come into the conversation. "We are now working on the flavor for the Quell now." Plutarch starts and I wonder why he is telling me this. "Actually I have a strategy meeting at midnight," he says and suddenly flips out a pocket watch and when he runs his finger over the face of the watch, it illuminates a Mockingjay.

"I will see you again Katniss and best of luck with the baby," he says and quickly walks away.

I'm confused about everything that just happened, but I snap back to Peeta when he wraps his arms around my waist.

"The President's arrival," he whisper and I nod meeting his eyes. This is what we have been waiting for. This is the time for Snow's final answer.

Snow enters the party down a large marble staircase and makes a big show of toasting our recent engagement and the best of luck to our future together. Just as he finishes behind us, a large cake's rolled out and while everyone is admiring the flaming desert I lock my gaze Snow, and with only the slightest shake of his head, I know what he thinks. He still doesn't believe us. We have failed.

I grip Peeta's hand tighter and cradle my stomach. If he thinks, I will just fall apart from his disapproval and cower because my baby isn't safe. He is very wrong. Who knows if he would have let us be even if he believed us? He still could have had us killed. Snow giving me an answer now only makes my mission even clearer. I will project my child no matter what.

He must notice the fire in my eyes because his disgusting grin he wore just moments ago is gone. Now he looks worried. Worried what I will do to protect the people I love. If he ever kills my child, I will kill him. I don't know how or when, but I will kill Snow. I will burn down this whole damn country if I have too.

I stay in the staring match with President Snow until Peeta gets my attention.

"Can we go? I'm not feeling well. My back is really hurting from all the standing," I lie to him and he doesn't hesitate before finding Effie. I guess it isn't really a lie my back always hurts, but I just need to leave. I have nothing to prove any more so why would I continue to endure this horrible event, all this food at one event when it could feed a whole district for a month.

Effie is a little frazzled that we want to leave, but she doesn't argue. She simply sends Haymitch with us and says she will meet us on the train.

All three of us get in a car that takes us to the train and as soon as we board the train, I drag Peeta to our compartment bathroom. I turn on the shower and the faucet. The noise from the running water should help drown out of voices. I sit down on the toilet lid and motion for him to come closer. He gives me a questioning look, but kneels down in front of me.

"Snow doesn't believe us," I say in a hushed whisper.

The effects my words have are immediate on Peeta's face. He looks scared and drops his gaze to my stomach, but he looks up at me, and changes completely. He now has a look of pure determination.

"He won't touch our child," he hisses and I nod in agreement.

"We have to be ready for anything. Besides do you really think he was going to let our child live? If it wasn't now it would be the first year him or her's name is in that reaping bowl. Snow always gets his way."

Peeta smirks and laces his fingers through mine. "Yeah, but not when is comes to us."

"Exactly, and that is not going to change now."

We talk some more and decide to being Haymitch in on this too.

"He doesn't believe us and now anything could happen," Peeta tells Haymitch and the first thing he does is reach for the flask in his jacket pocket and takes a long drink.

"I'm not sure what we can do," Haymitch says this with such defeat I deflate from all the anger I had when Snow gave me his answer. "If there's a fight we fight. If it's…I don't know Sweetheart. We will do what we always have. Stay alive." Peeta and I both nod numbly and our mentor slips out of our room.

Both of us dazed and wrapped up in our thoughts take off the fancy clothing from the party and huddle down on the sheets. Peeta holds me tighter then ever before and I get as close as possible. I can't shake the feeling that the most dangerous games are just about to start.

_** Sorry about the wait! I have a hand injury that makes typing harder and this chapter I rewrote multiple times! Please, please review! I need to know what you all think! It makes rewriting so much easier! **_


	9. Chapter 9

I try to relax against the soft fabric of our couch, but I don't have it in me. Peeta left about an hour ago for the bakery. I wanted to walk with him, but he shot me down saying something about it being quick. I don't like to be alone very often now a days. Anything could happen this late in my pregnancy and I would rather have Peeta home with me.

I wander around the house aimlessly, pacing the kitchen wearing ruts into the floor. I would sit outside, but with the bitter wind, the last thing I need is a cold. I slowly make my way up the stairs and into the nursery. I lean against the doorway of the room that probably never be used after the baby is born. I plan to keep him or her arms reach away at all times, more so because of paranoia then practical reasons. Everyday I think about Snow. I think about how stupid I was for getting pregnant. This is the reason I never wanted children. Someone I love being so innocent ripped away from me. Damn it, I hate that I love this baby so much. I could never distance myself or stop myself from loving this baby. I know that it's dangerous and putting myself at risk if anything were to happen, but I can't deny that I love it. I will do whatever it takes to project our child. I would go to every length of this earth to shelter them from the harsh reality. However, Snow will always have the upper hand in this fight. We have to react fast enough to save ourselves, honestly I don't know if we can do that.

Snow can't murder Peeta and I, but he could kill our baby when it's young enough and say something like it was still born or caught a terrible disease and died. Leave us to deal with the grief of losing our child. That would be worse then dying. Leaving us to deal on own without the thing we fought the most for. It might be dangerous for him then, because we would have nothing to lose, and I have no idea how Peeta would react to that. He would probably kill Snow himself.

I turn on my heel and hustle back down the stairs. I need to get out of this house. I can't stand the quiet and the thoughts in my head.

I find one of Peeta's coats in the closet and wrap it tightly around myself. Even with the coat being three times my size my stomach still pokes out a bit. I slip into my boots and brace myself for the cold.

There is a light dusting of snow covering the ground, so I walk carefully down the path from Victor's Village towards town. Not many people are out which makes it nice considering I don't have to deal with their curious stares and awkward greetings.

I make it to the bakery, where I spot Peeta and his brother Rye at the front counter talking and closing up for the day. I pull the door open and I'm greeted with warmth and the aroma of baking bread.

"What are you doing out in the cold?" Peeta asks removing my coat and hanging it up on the coat rack.

"I was bored," I say flatly and move to drag a stool over to the counter. Except Peeta bats my hand away and moves it for me. I roll my eyes at his protectiveness and take a seat.

"You look like you're about to pop Katniss," Rye says.

Peeta gives him a pointed look, but I smile. "Yeah and it doesn't help that Peeta makes me whatever I want. I think I gained thirty pounds of fat."

Rye chuckles," Does Peeta do everything you ask him?"

"Yes he does. He is just so sweet." I exaggerate fawning over Peeta.

Peeta's face heats up at my words. I guess me talking about how much he does for me is something he doesn't want his brother to know, so I keep going. "I especially like when he gives me a foot massage."

Rye laughs harder, "Peeta will you give my feet a massage?" He asks pouting out his bottom lip.

Peeta punches his shoulder and Rye has to hide the pain. "Not until you are almost nine months pregnant with my child."

"Darn it," Rye snaps his fingers and smiles at me. "Since he won't give me a message, do I get say in naming the baby."

Peeta and I both bark out a laugh. "What would you name our child Rye," Peeta gasps.

"Well Rye Jr of course." This brings on another round of laughter from the two of us. "What is wrong with that?"

"What if it's a girl?" I ask him and he shakes his head.

"It doesn't matter. It works both ways."

"No it doesn't," Peeta, tells him. "But I have a real name for the baby."

"What would that be foot rubber," Rye teases.

"I was thinking Willow."

Peeta says the name and I like it right away. A tree that can bend in strong winds, but it doesn't break easily.

"I love it, Peeta," I say and lean over the counter and give him a kiss, while Rye makes gaging noises behind us.

"Please don't do that again," Rye pleads and Peeta gives me a wicked grin and kisses me again. Rye continues to groan. "Now I have to name your kid. Willow Rye Mellark. Has a nice ring to it."

"Sure it does Rye," Peeta rolls his eyes. "No boy names because it has to be a girl."

"Why," I ask him.

"Because I want a mini you, no options," he states like it's obvious.

"You guys are gross," Rye gags again.

I ignore him and say, "But there is a chance it will be a boy."

"Yes," Peeta agrees.

"So what will you do then?"

"I will still love him more than anything else in the world," Peeta answers.

"So you just are a wishful thinker?"

"Yep, now let's go home where we can kiss and not be bothered by a five year old."

"See you later Rye," I wave getting off my stool and putting on my coat. Peeta waves good-bye as well and helps me down the stairs and into the evening darkness.

The flurries have stopped, but the wind has picked up so Peeta tucks me into his side as we walk down the empty street.

I wiggle my toes in my wool socks trying to get some feeling back into them. The fire continues to crackle in front of me. I can hear Peeta moving around upstairs. We would usually be in bed by now, but I don't sleep anymore. Between the nightmares and the baby moving, it's never peaceful.

I'm startled when Peeta touches my shoulder and hands me one of his thick sweaters. I give him a grateful smile. He settles behind me, so I can lean back against his chest. I sigh contently and roll my head back so I can look up at him. He smiles and brushes the hair out my eyes.

"If you want to sleep on the couch I'll sleep on floor next to you," he whispers.

"No," I sigh. "I'll be fine in bed."

"Okay," he breathes grazing his lips across my temple. I lean into his touch, so he takes my lead to kiss my cheek, the side of my mouth, and finally he locks his lip over mine. It's short, but I want more.

I awkwardly tuck my legs underneath me and wrap my arms around his neck. I give him a challenging look before he finds my mouth with his again. We find a steady pace and only stop when we need to come up for air. I can feel the tension between us, and every touch is frenzied. We haven't done anything more then kiss since the night in the meadow. The first time was nothing fantastic, but maybe now that I love him it would be different. However, I highly doubt he would want to do anything like that now that I'm pregnant. I feel so heavy and ugly. I am huge and everyday it gets worse.

I pull away from him and avert his eyes and whisper. "Do you think you would…," I stutter. "Would you ever want to… you know…do." I groan at my inability to speak, but he must get what I'm implying.

"Of course I would," he says without batting an eyelash.

"Even me being like this?"

When I say this, he actually looks insulted that I would ever think that.

"Katniss, how often do I tell you how beautiful you are?"

"Everyday," I mumble. "But you just say that."

"No I'm not. I think you are more beautiful now then ever before. I will always think you are beautiful, and whenever I say it. Remember that I mean it. I really do mean it."

I feel my cheeks heat up and he grins when he sees the hint of red, and bury my head into his neck. "Well thank you. I don't really care what I look like. I just don't feel like myself anymore."

"Don't worry about it Katniss. Once you have the baby you'll feel much better."

"Yeah well, unless other people have anything to do about it," I mutter under my breath.

Peeta shakes his head and frowns at me. "Let's try not to think about that right now."

"Okay," I say ending the heavy conversation and killing the mood.

I settle back against his chest and try to enjoy this moment of peace we have together before someone rips this away too.

I sit on the kitchen table as instructed by my mother as she asks me a million and one questions about how I have been feeling. Now that the baby could come any day now she has been all over me. She comes over to check on me once a day, and a phone call after dinner. I know she means well, but when the baby is ready it will come, and I am in no rush. Peeta is jumpy and watches me as if I'm made as glass. His protectiveness has taken on a whole other level. He hasn't the left the house for more then an hour and has Prim or Haymitch over to babysit me.

It's annoying, but he means well.

Today he let me walk over to my mother's by myself and I relished in the few moments of freedom. However, the freedom feeling was short lived when my mother and Prim ushered me into the kitchen for an exam.

"I want to check the position of the baby. Katniss could you lay back and roll up your shirt," she said in her professional tone.

I do as she asked and stuff a pillow under the arch in my back to make it a little more comfortable.

She prods and pushes on my stomach while Prim watches on taking in every move my mother makes, and they both seem satisfied when she is done.

"The baby is head down and you have dropped so I would expect a baby any day now."

Prim smiles widely at me, and starts chatting happily about how she is going to dress up the baby, help us with feedings and everything that comes with an infant. I smile back at her and eventually get her to calm done actually have a two sided conversation. It's nice to hear about her schooling and I even get to her to spill on some thirteen year old drama.

I head back across the lawn to our house and as soon as I open the door, I can smell dinner wafting in from the kitchen. I smile and briskly walk towards the wonderful smell.

I smile again when I find Peeta bent over slicing some bread. He looks up at me and opens his mouth to ask me about my visit, but I beat him to it. "My mother said that everything looks good."

Peeta smiles even bigger and focuses back on his cooking. "Did she say anything about when the baby might be coming?"

"No, but it will happen soon. I'd rather not rush it." Peeta gives me a sad smile and nods.

I set the table and once Peeta has finished the large meal of turkey and potatoes we both settle down and dig in.

It's not much later that we are both laying in our bed with my head on his chest and his one hand resting my stomach. The baby is wide-awake, shifting, and kicking, but the movements fill more restricted now. The baby is running out of room in there.

I sigh and look up at Peeta. I can tell he is thinking about something, but I'm to lazy to ask what about. He takes my questioning stare and answer my silent question.

"If Snow wasn't "tainting" this experience with us and the baby, would you, I don't know, enjoy it more? You know the excited expecting parents, the race to meeting the new baby and the other normal stuff."

I think for a minute before answering him. I love this baby, but differently then most pregnant mothers I feel love their unborn child. I have a more fierce and protectiveness towards this little human being inside of me. I haven't been jumping for joy over the thought of us becoming a family, more so praying that it actually happens without anyone getting hurt. I only like being pregnant because I can better protect the baby. No normal mother has to think about.

"I think so. I mean everything about us and this has been tainted."

"Yeah there isn't any normal with us is there?"

"Nope," I laugh but stop short when I feel a slight cramp in my lower back. Peeta notices my discomfort and sits up next to me.

"Is everything alright?"

I nod my head and his face relaxes. "Just practice contraction or back pain. I can't really tell it was different though."

Peeta gives me a weary look before settling back down next to me. He tries to pull me closer, but I suddenly feel hot and I need to breathe. I pull away from him and he looks at me even more suspicious. "Sorry, I feel hot."

I get up slowly from bed and make my way to the bathroom. I splash some cool water on my face and then I feel a small gush of water run down my leg. I freeze and look down at my soaked pants. I didn't pee myself. My water just broke. This means I'm going into labor.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I hear Peeta call, but I can't respond. I'm frozen looking down at my soaked pants. It doesn't feel real. Nothing of these past months have, but its happening now.

When I don't answer he comes to me and looks shocked when he sees me. "Is something wrong?" He panics, looking over my entire body for some kind of injury. I shake my head no, and clam myself to reassure him.

"No, my water broke," I croak out and brace myself against the counter.

"Oh! Should I get go get your mom?"

"No not yet. Help me clean up," I mumble and start to strip out of my wet clothing. Peeta turns on the warm water. I throw off my over sized shirt and step under the steaming water.

Peeta stands right outside the shower the whole time with a towel and he only leaves to retrieve a fresh shirt and pair of pants for me.

I dry off and change into the fresh clothes. Peeta cleans up the mess in the bathroom while I get back in bed. I stare blankly at the ceiling trying to think of anything that was a sign that this was happening today. I don't remember any abnormal pain. Nothing that I haven't felt in the pass couple of weeks. I look down at my mound of a stomach and sigh, rubbing my hand repeatedly in circles praying that nothing goes wrong.

I must have dozed off because I open my eyes sometime the next morning and find my mother and Peeta in our room talking quietly about me. I must have been asleep awhile, because the bags under Peeta's eyes are evident from across the room. I imagine he ran over there as soon as I was asleep to get her.

"You were having some contractions in your sleep, I think. I watched you and at least twice an hour you would grimace and it looked like you were in pain," Peeta explains and I look at him surprised. Did I really sleep through that?

"I would like to see if you dilated at all," my mother says walking over to the bed.

I nod and roll onto my back. I strip until I am bare from the waist down and my mother drapes a blanket across my bottom to cover me. Before I would never let my mother see me like this, but I don't really have a choice in the matter now.

She puts on a pair of gloves and does the exam. I watch her face scrunch together and then she looks at the clock. "When did your water break?"

"Right before bed last night," I say looking at Peeta and he nods.

"You are three centimeters dilated now." She says and I feel all the blood drain from my face. I don't have much time. I have seen mothers go from three centimeters to delivery in a couple of hours. All the screaming and most would cry from the pain. I can't do this! I look over at Peeta and he notices my anxiety. He sits on the edge of the bed and takes my hand. I let out a deep breath and focus on the now.

My mother looks at us strangely for a few moments, but shakes her head slightly and continues talking. "She isn't far along, but it's started. I want you both to rest for as long as possible. I have a feeling this might take awhile."

We both nod and she leaves our bedroom. I stare up at the ceiling terrified that our time has run out. I will have a baby by the end of today. I really can't do this. There is no way I can push another human being out of me. I won't be able to care for it. I won't be able to protect it. I am not ready. I need more time. I need another week or two. I can't do this.

"Hey Katniss, don't cry. You can do this. Don't worry I won't leave you alone through any of this. I promise everything will be okay," Peeta whispers climbing under the covers next to me.

I curl up in a ball and nestle into his chest. I take deep breathes and focus on his heart beat. The steady rhythm calms me.

"I'm scared," I admit and he holds me tighter.

"I know you are, but you will be a great mom. Think about seeing our baby. That's all you have to think about."

"Please don't leave me," I croak and look up at him. He is steady and confident. I feel better knowing that at least one of us is prepared.

"I won't leave you, ever. Now sleep."

I listen to Peeta and the next time I wake, it's to blinding pain. I grip onto the sheets to anchor me while the pain washes over me and after a few moments it subsides and I open my eyes.

"That's the first one that woke you up. I'm going to get your mother." Peeta hustles out of the room and Prim walks in a moment later with a basin of water and some towels.

"How are you?"

"Fine I guess. How long did I sleep?"

"Ever since I've been and that has been three hours." I nod and roll onto my over side. She sits on the edge of the bed. "Do you want me to re-braid your hair? I can't imagine you want it all over the place for later."

I agree and she helps me sit upright. The feeling of her small fingers combing through my hair is so relaxing, and she only takes a minute to redo my braid, so the enjoyment was short lived. I'm about to lie back down, but I notice I feel better sitting up. Some of the pressure that is on my pelvis feels more distributed.

"Prim could you help me stand?"

She looks at me oddly, but he helps me nonetheless to slowly stand up, and I feel much better. I put my pajama pants back on and start to pace back and forth from the bed to the window. Prim hovers near me incase I need her, but I don't until a couple minutes later when another contraction hits. I grit my teeth hard and hang onto Prim's hands like a vice. I lean on her and she doesn't falter.

I let out a deep breath when it passes just as Peeta comes back with my mother in tow. "Why are you out of bed?" Peeta ask wildly and my mom sets a hand on his shoulder.

"Moving around will help speed things along. Why don't you help her walk up and down the hallway while we prepare the bed?"

We both nod and Peeta leads me out into the hallway. I loop my arm through his and we slowly make laps up and down the hallway. He keeps whispering encouraging things to me and every once and a while pulls me closer or kiss the top of my head. I listen to him and each time we pass our bedroom door I look at the clock on the nightstand.

I have my next contraction after ten minutes of walking. It is much worse then the one before and I have to wrap my arms around Peeta's neck to stop myself from collapsing. After the pain fades away, we continue to walk.

I get two more contractions before I have to stop. My legs feel like jelly and the contractions are only getting worse.

I sit with my back against the headboard and wait the next few moments before another contraction starts. When it does hit I crush Peeta's hand in mine and try to keep my breathing steady. I feel like I'm being ripped in two. I don't know how much more I can take of this. The pressure of the baby pushing down is getting larger with each contraction too. I am only having contractions minutes apart. It has to be close.

"Mom," I whisper after the pain subsides. "Could you see how far along I am. I feel like I need to push."

She simply nods and quickly does the exam. "You are about fully dilated. Wait for a few more contractions until the sensation to push gets stronger. You will know when it's time."

We wait through two more contractions that are horrible before I can't wait any longer. She yells for Prim and gets Peeta to sit behind me so I can rest against his chest. I have to pull both my knees towards my chest and when the next contraction comes down I bare down and push.

I keep pushing and listen to Peeta chanting in my ear to keep going. I block out everything else. The pain is too much and I keep seeing spots, but I continue to push. I don't know if I scream or when I start to cry, but the best thing I have ever heard is when my mom says that I just need one more push. I give it all I have and then nothing.

I don't open my eyes until a loud wail comes from the end of the bed. I slowly open my eyes, and it has to be the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. The wailing infant with it's red face and wrinkly body, who is perfect and healthy. I lean heavily against Peeta and he wraps his arms around me.

"It's a boy," my teary-eyed mother announces and carefully hands him to me. She then takes Prim and leaves us alone.

As soon as he settled in my arms his crying stops and he is so peaceful. Having him in my arms makes all the worry I did seem useless. He is here now and I love him so much. The dark fluffy hair that covers most of his head looks like mine, but it could very easily change. I trace his scrunched up face with my finger, and when I touch his palm, his tiny fingers wrap around my finger. He slowly opens his eyes to reveal a piercing blue similar to Peeta's. This could change as well, but it might stay the same too.

I smile and Peeta sets his chin on shoulder. He surrounds my arms holding our son with his own and my tears come down harder. "I love you two so much," I whisper.

"I love you two, too. I am so proud of you Katniss."

We don't move from this position and I could live in this moment forever, Peeta protecting both of us from any and every danger in the world.

Once the baby starts crying again, I start to panic until Peeta suggest he might be hungry. He gets my mother, and she shows me how too properly breast-feed him. Once he is done I let her hold him some and Prim comes in to see him again as well.

"What is his name?" Prim ask us and I look up at Peeta.

"Do you have a name in mind," he ask me and I nod.

"Oliver"

He looks at the baby in Prim's arms and then back at me. "I think it's perfect."

"I like it too," Prim says and hands him over to Peeta.

"Oliver it is," I finalize and everyone smiles.

I dress Oliver in an outfit and a diaper Effie sent us and put him in the bassinet. I clean myself up, while my mother helps Peeta with the dirty linens. I'm so sore that putting on pants is hard, and once I am done I find that my mother and Prim have gone home to leave us alone. I was hoping she would stay and help some more, but I have to learn how to do it on my own now.

Peeta is holding Oliver on the bed and I shuffle over to them and sit down next to him. Peeta looks so nature holding him. The way he gently touches Oliver's face and the look of amazement at every noise Oliver makes. He is such a good father already. It was something he was born to be.

"I was thinking of making something for supper. I imagine you are very hungry."

As he says that, my stomach rumbles. "Yes very and soon he will be too."

"Okay then how about some cheese buns," he suggests and I nod.

We all go down stairs and I sit at the kitchen table with Oliver and watch as Peeta takes out some premade dough and quickly gets it in the oven.

Peeta sits down next to me and Oliver opens his eyes and starts to look around the kitchen. He seems to be looking at everything around him and then focuses back on us. I smile and look over at Peeta.

He's smiling too, but I can tell he is thinking. "Could we call him Ollie for short?"

"I like that," I agree and he smiles even more.

"Why did you pick the name Oliver?" I think for a minute before answering him.

"I picked his name because it symbolizes peace. After everything we have been through that is all I want, for us, for him. I want to find peace. I know it might not be soon, but someday I want peace. I want less violence, no threats, and no games. I want a safe world for him. Like you, I am being a wishful thinker."

Peeta smiles sadly at me and says, "That's the best way to be."

We eat and I feed Ollie once more before laying him down in the bassinet. When Peeta and I climb under the covers and my head hits the pillow. I am asleep before he can kiss me goodnight.

I wake up confused an hour later to a little cry, but then I move quickly scooping Ollie out of the bassinet. He shouldn't be hungry yet, so I take him to the nursery, change his dirty diaper, and then spend the next ten minutes coaxing him back to sleep.

I throw myself down on the bed and Peeta grins at me. "You should have made me do it."

"Don't worry you can get the next shift," I mumble before falling back to sleep.

I wake up four more times until the sun rises that morning. I only slept a total of three hours. Every time he would cry softly until we would pick him up, and even though Peeta changed each diaper without compliant. I still needed to feed him twice, that's the one thing Peeta can't help me with.

The next morning we move from the bedroom down to the living. Peeta cooks breakfast, and drinks three cups of coffee, while I hold a sleeping Ollie at the kitchen table. He has been awake most of the morning, and has only cried once, which is very surprising considering I feed and changed his dirty diaper. I guess he only cries when he really wants to get our attention.

Peeta dishes out a large meal and just as we are about to eat. Haymitch comes through the front door. He looks rather clean and recently shaven, which is a good sign, and considering how early it is. I would have to guess he is sober and hangover free.

He waves to the two of us, but focuses mostly on Ollie. He analyzes him head to toe, and I could swear I see the traces of a smile ghosting his lips.

"What's his name?"

"Oliver," I answer. "Do you want to hold him?"

He looks hesitant, but he slowly nods. I transfer Ollie into his arms and instruct Haymitch on how to support his head, but after a second, he figures it out.

I sit back down in front of my plate and start to eat along with Peeta.

"I haven't heard anything from the Capitol, so I'm assuming they don't know yet," Haymitch says and Peeta frowns down at his plate. In our blissful day, I have almost completely forgotten about Snow.

"I hope it stays that way for a little longer," Peeta says and we both nod.

"I know, but you two don't have much time. With the month almost being over everyone will be expecting news about the newest Mellark."

I sigh and push my plate away from me. "What is going to happen now?"

"Well I'm sure news will get out by the end of the week. After that we sit tight and are ready to do anything." Haymitch shrugs and looks back down at Ollie. "But I know one thing nobody is going to hurt this little cub."

Peeta and I both laugh. "Little cub?"

"Yeah, little cub because his mother is a real grizzly," Haymitch exaggerates. I give him my best scowl and Peeta coughs to cover up his laugh.

My mother comes over with Prim later to check up on Ollie and me. Peeta gets Prim to help bake some cookies leaving mom and I alone. It's strange to think that I now a mom too. I'm still a kid myself. I love Ollie with all my heart, but I can't imagine that this is what my mom wanted me to do at sixteen.

I look over at the sleeping baby in my mom's arms, a twinge of guilt rips through me, and I can feel the tears gathering in the corner of my eyes. I hastily wipe the moister out of my eyes and my mom gives me a worried look.

"I'm sorry," I croak and she shakes her head confused at my apology.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"No, I'm only sixteen and I disappointed you. I made a mistake an-," I sob, but she stops me.

"No. You haven't disappointed me. I love you, Peeta, and Oliver. You have been a parent long before Oliver. I will never be able to make up the time when I left you two. I think about that everyday. I am so proud of you, and I know you're young. I would have rather you have waited, but so much horrible has been in your life. It's nice to have something that is good." This makes me smile and Ollie takes this lull in conversation to make his presence known.

"Thank you." I tell her and take an upset Ollie from her arms.

After I change the tenth diaper of the day and fed Ollie one last time, I collapse on the bed, exhausted. Peeta kisses Ollie's forehead again before sitting down next to me. He rubs his hand up and down my back, leaving a trail of goose bumps as he goes. I roll over and he leans down to melt his lips with mine. I smile against his lips and he surrounds me in his arms. He dips his hand underneath my shirt, but I pull away.

"Don't touch my stomach. It's all weird now."

"It's not weird. You had a baby two days ago, and you barely have a stomach any more."

I look down at myself and shrug. "I guess, but it feels weird. I can't believe that he's here, and not in there anymore." I glance over at Ollie sleeping in the bassinet and smile. "We're parents now."

"Yeah we are, and it feels like just yesterday we were trying to stay alive long enough to meet him, and now he's here. He's also asleep, so try and get some rest too." Peeta tells me kissing my forehead and snapping off the bedside lamp. I curl against his chest and he wraps his arms around me. I have missed this closeness with him. I love being able to rest my head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. I start to drift into darkness, but Ollie's sharp cry startles me.

"Bring him," I mumble and I feel Peeta's arms ease out from under me. The crying soften I open my eyes slowly at Peeta with Ollie curled on his chest with his tiny head nestled into the crook of Peeta's neck.

"I guess he was lonely," Peeta whispers and I nod, dragging myself so I can rest my head on Peeta's shoulder. I pull the blanket up to cover the three of us. I can feel myself slipping again and this time nothing stops it.

I'm barely awake when I feel Peeta ease Ollie into my arms with a pillow underneath my arm. By instinct I go through the motions to get Ollie to latch onto my breast, I shudder when the cool breeze from the open window hits my bare chest. Peeta puts his arm around my shoulders blocking me from the cold.

"You're amazing," I hear him mummer and kiss the top of my head. I can feel him watching me, and it would have made me uncomfortable before, but now it's the complete opposite. I look up at him and there is nothing judgmental in his gaze. He is in complete awe. I have seen this before when he first held Ollie, but I never thought he would ever look at me this way. I wish I could view myself in the way Peeta does. I'm a plain girl from the Seam. Before I was pregnant, I had a body closer to boy rather than a curvy woman. I never thought myself to be desirable. I never even thought about how I looked and if any boy would like me for my figure. I dressed practically and only worried about my body when my ribs grew prominent from malnutrition. Now with my nursing and always having food I have filled out, but I'm still losing weight from carrying Ollie. I guess it puzzles me in what Peeta really sees in me, but I don't want to question him. I never want to see a day when I can't be with him. I feel like I belong right here with him. I felt drawn to Peeta ever since the day in the rain. I would catch fleeting glances and the boy with the bread was on my mind more than I would ever admit to anyone. Even if it wasn't for Ollie or the reaping we would have still found each other.

**So so so sooo sorry for the months I made you guys wait! The summer was crazy and school left me with no free time! I hope to update whenever I can! Please review to let me know what you think! **


	10. Chapter 10

It is a little after five o'clock when I hear a knock on the front door. I shift Ollie in my arms and go to answer the door, but Peeta beats me to it. He yanks the door open and Haymitch burst right by us into the kitchen.

"Are we supposed to follow?" I ask Peeta and he just shrugs and heads in the direction of the kitchen.

We walk in find Haymitch digging through all the cabinets looking for what I'm not sure. "What is it?" Peeta ask worried and I sit down with Ollie at the table.

"The Capitol found out, and is in a whirlwind of celebration over the cub. Effie called me about ten minutes ago asking for a photo for us to send or you can count on a million photographers coming here on the first train to get a glimpse of the new baby."

"Oh," I sigh and look over to Peeta who is staring down at Ollie. I know he doesn't want to give up a photo, but it has almost been two weeks since Ollie was born. We haven't left the house since he was born, only speaking to our families since. I guess Snow got tired of waiting and used all his resources to find out what was going on. I can't imagine having to deal with cameras waiting outside on our front lawn hoping to catch a glimpse of the new edition.

"You could just give them one of your paintings. It just as good as the real thing and I'm sure they would love it even more than us just taking a regular photo."

Haymitch nods in agreement and Peeta mulls over for a minute before sitting down in the chair next to mine. He scoops Ollie from my arms and sighs. "I guess we don't really have a choice. It's not like we could hid him forever. Could we just give it to you now and you handle it?" He says to Haymitch and he nods.

"Yep I want you two to stay right here. I will keep my ears to the ground and listen to any rumors coming from the Capitol. Oh, and you have don't have to worry about those bugs anymore. I got some people to take care of those today. I mean there was only one way for Snow to find out about the baby. "

"Thank you, do you care which one I pick to give to him," I ask Peeta and he shakes his head no. "Okay, come on Haymitch."

He follows me to Peeta's studio and I look through the smaller canvases until I find one that is just Ollie. He has a little green hat on with a piece of his dark hair sticking out, and his crystal blue eyes. His arms are curled up underneath his chin with a content grin ghosting his face. I trace the outline of his chin with my finger and I notice the tearstain at the corner of the picture after Haymitch sets his hand on my shoulder. I hastily wipe my eyes. "Sorry it's just hard."

"I can't imagine sweetheart, but everything will work out. I have a plan, but it needs some time still, just don't do anything stupid in the mean time," he says lightly but with a serious undertone.

"I won't ."

"Good now go enjoy your kid I will deal with all this crap." I nod and walk Haymitch out.

I shuffle back into the kitchen and stop in the doorway. Watching Peeta with Ollie has to be my favorite thing in the world. He is so tender and patient with him. When he is holding him nothing else matters. I watch as he pulls down his blue knitted cap and nestle him in the crook of his elbow while Ollie tries to find his thumb. He started clawing at his face a few days after he was born and I couldn't figure out what he was trying to do. He would constantly be stabbing himself in the eye and it got to the point where I put a pair of mittens on so he wouldn't scratch his face. This made Ollie frustrated and he would let out a little whine in protest, trying to get the fuzzy mittens off. This was until my mother suggested that he wanted to suck his thumb, but he couldn't find it. Her solution was to use this small rubber nipple with a plastic button so it would rest on his mouth and he wouldn't choke in it. Ever since we started using it, the random fussing has stopped.

Seeing Ollie fusing, opening, and closing his mouth I know what he wants. I hand Peeta the small pacifier and once he gets Ollie to keep it in his mouth, Ollie relaxes and nestles into Peeta's chest.

Peeta looks up at me and gives me a sad smile. I take a deep breathe and close my eyes," we should get married."

He looks taken back and confused. "Katniss we can't do that. Especially right now, I don't even want to leave the house let alone have to go to the Justice Building."

"Peeta a piece of paper for Capitol is the last thing I want. I want a toasting with the three of us, and it would only be us. No more bugs, no more spying on us," I fade off hoping he understands this is what I truly want.

He finally smiles. "There are some logs in the bin next to the fireplace I will start on the bread," he says in a rush before getting out of his chair giving me a kiss on the cheek. I take Ollie from him and go to the fireplace. I set Ollie on his blanket on the floor and start with tending to the fire.

Once I get a decent flame going Ollie starts to fuss and I notice the large wet spot running down the side of his onesie. I hope this is pee and not something else. I gather the crying baby, trying to avoid the pee and past Peeta washing the flour from his hands.

"Smells good in here, unlike this stinky thing," I say and Peeta laughs.

"It won't be much longer," he says eagerly.

"Well as long as he doesn't make it difficult to get him dressed I will be back down in a couple minutes. Could you warm up one of his bottles?"

He nods and I hustle up the stairs while Ollie continues to whine, and I have to agree that peeing on yourself and your mom isn't a comfortable experience.

I quickly unbutton his onesie, but find that it is the worst-case scenario. This outfit cannot be saved.

"What am I going to do with you love," I mumble, digging out a clean onesie and diaper along with a handful of wipes.

I finally get him cleaned up and redressed. I stop by our room and think about changing into something nicer then sweat pants and a t-shirt, and when I look down to see a mysterious stain on my shirt, my idea is now necessary.

I walk back down to the kitchen bouncing a now content baby, and in a clean t-shirt. "Someone made a nice mess," I start but am cut off when I see that Peeta isn't in the kitchen. The oven is off and cooling already and I poke my head in the living room and smile at the sight. Peeta has lite a couple of candles and has a slice of bread sitting on a plate in front of the blazing fire. "How did you?"

"I had some premade dough and I couldn't wait any longer," he says and walks up to me. Easily taking Ollie in one arm, and weaving my fingers with his free hand. He leads me over to the blanket set in front of the fire, and helps me sit down. He eases himself down next to me with Ollie rested against his chest. "How should we do this?"

"I'll go first." I say confidently, but I am shaking inside. I've never been good with words and I don't want to ruin this. I look up when Peeta rest his hand over mine and gives me an encouraging smile. "Sorry, it's just that so much has happened this past year that it's hard to wrap my head around it. I never knew how this was going to end. Finding out I was pregnant was the scariest moment of my life. I made the plan to raise him on my own, but you changed all that." Peeta smiles at me and Ollie makes a strange gurgling sound. "I love you and right now I know we aren't safe, but I could have never left that arena without you. I just hope that we survive through anything that Snow has planned. I love you and I know we will figure something out, together."

I finish and Peeta is smiling so wide that I think he might crack. He pulls me to him and kisses me hard on the lips. I grin and pull away from him ready to hear what he has to say, but his mouth is just hanging wide open. "I can't…I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, but I love you and Ollie so much. Please remember that whatever happens that I will always be protecting you, no matter what. I love you Katniss."

We kiss again and Peeta puts the piece of bread close enough to the flame to so it will brown, but not burn. We wait in silence for a couple minutes until Peeta takes the piece away from the fire and back on the plate. I break the piece in half and hold one-half towards Peeta. "I will love and protect you, always," I say feeding the bread gently to Peeta. He smiles while he chews and picks up the last half.

"I have always loved and protected you, and I will never stop until the day I die," he says this and I know he means every word. It reassures me and scares me at the same time.

He slowly feeds me the toast and I feel the first tear hit my face. "Thank you," I whisper kissing him, and snuggling into his side, his scent of cinnamon and dill over whelming my senses, and a touch of Ollie's new baby smell. I lean down and brush my lips against Oliver's temple just under the brim of his knit cap. He opens his eyes and looks up at Peeta and me, but loses interest and slowly closes his eyes again.

We stay seated on the floor until the fire burns down and Ollie stirs from his sleep. I get up taking the crying baby from Peeta and help him off the floor. Slowly we make our way upstairs. Peeta helps me get Ollie changed and settled. We both kiss him goodnight and I head to the bathroom to shower, but Peeta stops by the bed. I turn around and hesitate about asking him about the one thing that has been on my mind.

"Peeta," I whisper and he looks at me in the doorway. "Remember how we talked about doing it again," I trail off my face burning red.

He looks confused, but then something must click. "Yes and I do remember saying I would love to, but are you ready? It has only been two weeks since you had a baby and I'm not sure it would be a good idea to jump right into things married or not." He finishes and I nod what he is saying does make sense. "But we could do other things?" I raise an eyebrow and he moves closer to me. "Will you trust me?"

"Of course"

"Perfect," he whispers and it doesn't take long for me to understand how great other things can be.

It's been a week since we had our toasting and nothing new has happened. The painting of Oliver is everywhere in the Capitol, apparently. We haven't picked up the phone at all. I feel bad because it might be Cinna, but we made a rule to have minimal contact with the outside world. Haymitch relays us important information, but besides that, we talk to our families when they come over for dinner a couple times a week.

I have been itching to get out of the house and into the woods, but I know I couldn't risk it. Ollie would be fine with Peeta for an hour or so, but Snow is always a taunting thought in our minds. Knowing there are no bugs in the house is a small relief, but as time goes on, I feel like we are getting closer to figuring out his plan.

"Katniss," Peeta calls from upstairs where I can hear the cries from Ollie becoming increasingly louder.

"What's wrong?" I walk into the nursery and Peeta is bouncing the red-faced baby.

"I think he needs to eat and," he says, I cut him off.

"Got it," I wave him off without any more questions. I quickly go through the routine of feeding Ollie and settling down into the rocker in the nursery.

Ollie eventually dozes off and I slowly rest him against my shoulder and rub his back until I hear a faint burb, and then I feel his spit on the back of my shirt. "Forgot the towel," I mutter to myself walking to my bedroom. I lay the sleeping baby in the bassinet and change my stained shirt for a clean sweater that belongs to Peeta.

I consider taking Ollie downstairs with me, but he barely slept last night, and I got even less sleep then him. I make sure that he is all right before going to find Peeta. He is sitting on the couch with his feet propped up on the coffee table, and his sketchpad resting in his lap. He looks up and grins.

"I'm assuming he threw up on your shirt and then fell asleep?"

I nod sitting down next to him. "What are you working on?"

"The daily picture of Oliver," grins and shows me his rough charcoal drawing. He must have just started because he only has the outline of our baby sprawled out sleeping peacefully. I lean my head against his shoulder and he wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Take a nap; I'll wake you if he wakes up."

I nod numbly aware of what he is saying, but between the fire roaring, warming the room, and Peeta holding me I fall asleep quickly.

I wake up later to find the fire burned down and the sun setting behind the trees. That was the most sleep I've had without interruption this week. Peeta left at some point during my nap, and draped a blanket around me.

I peel back the wool blanket and stand stiffly. I fold the blanket and shuffle into the kitchen. I am surprised to see Haymitch sitting at the kitchen table while Peeta is pacing around with Ollie.

"Looks like someone slept well," Haymitch states, but I ignore him.

"Does he need anything," I ask Peeta.

"Nope I made dinner; I put a plate for you in the oven."

I give him a grateful smile and pull out the hot plate of roast with a dishtowel. I dig into my hot meal while Peeta and Haymitch continue their mundane conversation. My ears do perk up when Haymitch mentions a special announcement.

"Something tomorrow night and I haven't been able to figure out what it is," Haymitch tells us, we both nod. "Until then the same as always," with that Haymitch makes his way home leaving Peeta and me in anxious silence.

"I'm not ready to fight." I admit looking up at Peeta, pushing my now cold food away from me. He hands me Ollie and his weight against my chest comforts me.

"I know." He moves swiftly around the kitchen cleaning up and putting things away. "But you and I both know that we will when the time comes."

I nod and trace Ollie's chin with my index finger. He scrunches up his face, and then looks up at me confused. I smile down at him. "We will do what we have to do," I agree knowing that it's our job to protect him, and as long as he is safe I will always be happy.

That night we both lay awake holding each other. Peeta has Ollie on his chest right next to my head. Ollie doesn't cry once, he would slowly open his eyes staring directly at me. He would almost pout and I knew he needed something. We watch the sunrise, but we don't get out of bed until late morning. We emotionlessly go through out routine watching the clock and dreading when it will be time for the announcement. The only thing that breaks us out of our fog is when Prim and my mother stop by after lunch. Prim happily takes Ollie into the living room making funny faces and talking to him animatedly.

My mother tries to fill the silence with small talk about the town, but neither Peeta nor I respond with anything besides one-word answers. The time seems to slip by slowly, but eventually we all sit down at the table for a big meal that Peeta prepared. He cooked enough food to last us the rest of the month, but I know he did it to keep his mind off tonight.

We finish shortly after we started because none of us has much of an appetite. Ollie falls asleep against my chest so I wordlessly take him upstairs to the small bassinet next to our bed. He fidgets in his sleep, but soon stops, his breathing evened out.

I join everyone else in the living room, taking the empty spot next to Peeta. He switches on the tv, and in the middle of a stupid Capitol entertainment show it switches to Snow, standing behind a large podium with an avox standing at his side holding a small brown box.

"It's the reading of the card," my mother says distantly. We all look at her imploring her to explain more. "It's for the Quarter Quell, it basically is the theme or sick twist for these games."

My stomach sinks at this information. No matter what happens in the games it's going to be terrible, Peeta and I having to mentor kids that will have little to no chance. Considering how much we are hated and how dangerous kids from twelve can be to Snow. I wouldn't be surprised it there wasn't another victor from twelve ever. Leaving us star-crossed lovers in the spotlight out who lives, then the nightmare of when Ollie will be old enough for the games, if we even live that long.

I have drowned out the words coming from President Snow's mouth until I catch his last couple of words, "_the tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of victors." _

I gasp and double over with only one thing registering in my mind. I'm going back into the arena, and I am going to die.

_**There ya go! The next chapter is in the works now so review and let me know what you think! **_


	11. Chapter 11

I don't hear what my mother is saying or the questions coming out of Prim's mouth. I feel so distant from everything. I can't feel anything. My blood has gone cold, and everything feels like it's playing in slow motion. I don't know when I run up the steps or how I make it without falling. I fly into our bedroom where Ollie lays sleeping peacefully in the bassinet. I would feel terrible for waking him any other day, but I need him. I carefully pick him up and when he nestles into my neck, I lose it. Snow has pulled the rug out from underneath us. I have thought of many different deaths, but going back into the arena never crossed my mind. He isn't directly killing us, but instead is making us relive our nightmare, then dying at the hands of another tribute, a sure way to have a slow and very painful death.

I hold Ollie close to my chest and focus on his soft breathing, the way he slaps his lips together, making these content sighs, snuggling closer to me. He trusts me with his life and I don't know if I will be here for him much longer. Even if I would survive, the arena that would mean Peeta is dead. I don't think I could live without him. I would never abandon Ollie, but I wouldn't be the same. Peeta makes me so much better. He makes me a better person, parent, and caregiver. Wherever I fall short, Peeta is there is help me. Without that, I could fail our son. I wouldn't be able to protect Ollie from Snow without Peeta, and I wouldn't be able to protect everyone I love. Peeta is the stronger one. He needs to make it back to our son. I could easily become my mother to overcome with grief to be of any use. I know Peeta would do anything to make sure Ollie lives a happy and healthy life.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. Peeta. I have left him all alone for who knows how long since the announcement. I have been thinking about how much I need him, but I haven't gone to him. I ran away from him, more proof that he is the superior person. It makes my decision that much simpler in my mind. He will survive.

"I'm sorry," I croak out and he immediately pulls me into my lap. His arms encircle mine with Ollie cradled by both of us.

"It's fine. I know you needed him. I walked your mom and Prim home. Don't worry about me," he whispers. "We will figure something out. I love you so much," he chokes out and kisses the top of my head.

"I love you too," I whisper and he holds me tighter.

I don't remember anything for the rest of the night besides Peeta laying us back down on the bed, and at some point wedging Ollie from my arms. I miss the warmth he was providing me with, but then Peeta gathers me up in his arms, and I cry myself to sleep.

I wake sometime later when Peeta shakes me awake and presses a hungry baby into my arms. I'm still half asleep when he finishes eating, falling back into a deep sleep before Peeta gets him out of my arms.

The next morning I wake up to Peeta looking at me as if I'm going to break. I take a deep breathe and collect myself. I am going to take every day one step at a time. It would no good to become a blubbering mess now. I need to make sure Peeta is going into the arena prepared to fight, and I am going to push myself to help him.

"I'm alright. Thank you for taking care of me last night," I whisper and Peeta runs his hand up and down my arm.

"Don't worry about it. We can talk to Haymitch about our next move today if you want." I nod in agreement even though I already have a plan. He laces his fingers through mine under the blanket. "When we go back in the arena you have to know that I'm going to do everything in my power to protect you. I know you are going to do the same for me, but either way one of us is coming back for him. We have to do what's best for him." I swallow the lump in my throat. He would never accept my willingness to die for him, but he will have to get over it. We both want the best for our son, and the best is for Peeta to survive.

"I know," I breathe out. I do not want to die, but I don't have many options. I'm leaving so much behind. I know Peeta will suffer greatly from my death, but he is strong. He will pull through and be the best parent possible. I'm not sure I could be do that.

Silence follows our heavy conversation, neither one of us moving until Ollie wakes up and lets out a small cry. We move silently getting ready for the day. Peeta and I shower in shifts. I shower he gets Ollie ready and when he showers, I finish getting him ready. Peeta makes us a meager breakfast and then we make our way to Haymitch's house. Surprisingly, Haymitch's house doesn't smell and is only slightly unorganized. Haymitch is sitting at his kitchen table clutching a bottle of white liquor between his calloused hands. He isn't hung over and isn't drunk. He is just staring at the blank wall, thinking.

I sit down across from him and Peeta sets a loaf of bread on the table and shifting Ollie in his arms, the wide-eyed baby taking in his new surroundings and lifting his legs up and down as if he wants to walk right out of Peeta's arms. Ollie manages to break the tension and drag a smile out of all of us.

Haymitch clears his throat. "Well, we got some work to do. First things you two are going to prepare yourselves. You need to start training like careers. Focus on getting into shape and work on you weaknesses. I have the base of a plan, but in order for it to work you two must stay alive long enough in the arena. Go back into the woods and start shooting again. Snow knows you can't run now with a baby and he has enough eyes to keep track of you two. He also can't kill you two before the games. He would have a revolution by doing that alone. I'm not going to tell you much, but you have to trust me that I will do anything to make sure you both survive. The less you know that safer you both will be in the long run."

Haymitch finishes his speech, taking a long drag from his bottle. I look over at Peeta and he is digesting all the new information. He finally returns my gaze and I know we are both on the same page.

"We trust you," Peeta says and Haymitch scoffs.

"Well I'm glad you trust your old mentor who saved all three of you before," he mumbles, Peeta and I both roll are eyes. "Not much else to talk about. If anything changes we will deal with it later."

We leave shortly after, walking hand and hand across the street, but I stop before we get to our lawn. I need to go talk to Haymitch. The reaping is an existing pool of victors he could be going into the arena too, highly unlikely, but still a possibility. I need to make some deals before Peeta sways Haymitch's opinion. Peeta gives me a weird sideway glance.

"I forgot to invite Haymitch to dinner. I'll be right back," I lie, turning on my heel quickly so he can't question me. I walk briskly back up Haymitch's front steps and through the front door.

"Miss me already?" He asks me.

"No, but if Peeta's name gets pulled," I trail off realizing I am asking my old drunk mentor to kill himself for my husband.

"I'll volunteer, don't worry about it. I'm planning for any out come," he states flatly.

"Thank you," I whisper and he nods in response. "But if he does go into that arena with me… he needs to survive for Oliver," I plead. "I don't care what happens to me in there, but he needs to live."

He frowns and then nods his head. "Okay."

I feel awkward considering everything he has done for us and will continue to do. I don't think before I walk around the table and throw my arms around his neck. "Thank you and you can come over for dinner if you want."

He pats my back and then we both pull apart. "Was that your lie to come back over here? I know you can't lie worth a damn."

"Maybe," I grin.

"I'll see you at the usual time," he mumbles and as I'm walking door he calls me back.

"What?"

"You know he asked me to save you last night," he sighs.

"Well I'm not asking you to save him. I'm telling you that you don't have a choice," I say sternly and walk out ignoring what he is saying to the back of my head.

I walk back into the warmth of our home and follow the noise of crying coming from the kitchen. Peeta is bouncing a crying baby and looks up at me with a small smile. "I wish I wasn't the only one who could feed him."

"Sorry, but until he eats something else," I reply unbuttoning my shirt and taking Ollie with the other hand. I go to the living room in search of something to support my arm. I grab one of the firm throw pillows off the couch and walk back into the kitchen, getting comfortable at the table without disturbing Ollie. I watch Peeta float around the kitchen taking out supplies and bowls, while following along to an old yellowed recipe book. He gets to mixing all the dry ingredients together when Ollie decides he is full. Peeta throws me a rag to throw over my shoulder, and I gently pat his back. He let's out a small belch, followed by another passing of gas.

Peeta stops and looks over at me in disbelief. "Did he jus-," he starts but is cut off by another very loud bout of flatulence from the tiny baby. "He really did," he grins and we both break out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

"He has done it before, but never that loud," I snort clutching my side while Ollie becomes slightly irritated letting out a high wail. Then I smell what we just heard. "I'll be back," I tell Peeta leaving us both laughing.

I lay a very upset baby on the cushioned top of the dresser in the nursery. I struggle to unbutton his outfit with all his carrying on, but when I get everything off I could understand why. I rid of him of the soiled diaper and clothing immediately rushing to bathroom with the squirming baby. I end of giving him a quick bath, and then pick out a clean and soft outfit from his nursery. As soon as I clasp the last button on his onesie, he is out like a light. I gently place him in the bassinet and shuffle back down stairs.

Peeta is still in the kitchen, but is covered in flour smoothly kneading out a large slab of dough. I lean against the kitchen cabinets and watch as he works, his forehead glistening with sweat, with his blond curls sticking to his forehead. I push back the long pieces and he gives me a small smile as he continues his task.

"That was fun," I say sarcastically, Peeta chuckles not breaking his focus. I watch his steady and confident movements. I start to think about how this calm will soon turn into anxious days counting down to the reaping. I wish we could just ignore the impending doom, and enjoy our time. Sure, we have to train and prepare, but I want to do it and still be happy with the time we have left. "These next couple of months," I start. "I don't want to be sad or whatever. I just want to enjoy this time that I know we have together," I tell him wistfully looking down at my hands. I can sense that Peeta's hands have stilled over the dough.

He slowly looks over at me and smiles a very genuine smile, and I soon feel my face mirroring his own. "I thought I was the optimistic one in this relationship," he grins and I loop my arm through his.

"I can have my moments," I whisper leaning in and meeting his lips halfway. He deepens the kiss and pins me between the counter and him. I slip my arms around his neck playing with the damp hair at the nape of his neck. Peeta settles his hands on my hips, but they slowly start to roam and I don't dare stop him. We break apart for air; Peeta continues to attack my neck with light and heated kisses. He lifts me easily onto the counter and I wrap my legs around his waist.

"The only thing I want is to spend as much time with you as possible," he admits huskily. Then he goes back to my mouth. A very hot tension starts to coil up in the pit of my stomach, and I desperately seek a relief. I want more of him and the thought of more makes the coil twist tighter and tighter. My fingers find the hem on his shirt and just as I am about rip off every piece of clothing and do what any other young married couple does when I hear someone gasp behind us.

We both spring apart, turning to find my mother looking at us wide-eyed. Both of us are beet red. Thankfully, I hear a cry from upstairs, but before I can excuse myself Peeta runs around my mother and bounding up the stairs.

"Sorry," I mumble and she shakes her head.

"I shouldn't be so surprised. I mean your married and have a baby," she laughs and I feel my face flush even more. Her face then takes a serious tone. "How are you?"

I hesitate to answer her. It's still strange for me to let her in. I'm so used to the cationic mother that didn't notice her children starving to death. Now her being actively involved and caring about me goes against everything I have grown accustomed to over the years.

"Dealing with everything," I answer honestly. "We are going to start training for the games. So if you wouldn't mind watching Ollie during most of the day it would help us. I'm sure Prim wouldn't mind." We both smile at that last part. Prim picking that moment to walk into the kitchen holding Ollie with Peeta following close behind her proving my point.

"Of course I will watch my nephew whenever you need it," she states proudly beaming down at Ollie.

"Well I wanted to tell you that I'm making a big dinner and I hope to see all three of you later," my mother says. "We have to go get started now." My mother tells Prim. Prim frowns handing Ollie back to Peeta. Prim turns slowly towards the front door with my mother only I few steps behind her.

"Oh, can Haymitch come?" I ask her quickly almost forgetting that I did offer him dinner earlier.

"Of course and Katniss," she calls back to me.

"What?"

"You have some flour on your…," she trails off. I look down at myself, and there are very distinct handprints up and down my thighs and on my rear. My face burns from my blush, she can't even see it, but I hear her and Prim giggling all the way out the door.

I turn around to Peeta who is smiling sheepishly. "We need to start locking the front door," I grumble and Peeta lets out a hearty chuckle before kissing my cheek.

_Filler chapter but I wanted to give you all something else. Next chapter will be up sometime soon. Please review! _


	12. Chapter 12

I stop abruptly throwing my head between knees wheezing trying to suck in all the air possible. I start seeing these little black spots dancing in front of my eyes when Peeta eases me back into the standing position placing both heads on top of my head. I take control of my breathing and focus on deep breaths in and out. We have been training for about two months. We have been running everyday, and everyday I push myself a little harder in turn pushing Peeta too. I push myself to do one more push-up, one more sit-up, and one more pull up with only one thought on my mind, protecting Peeta, for Peeta to survive in the arena. Of course, he can do more of everything than me, but he sees my hard work so he puts out just as much effort. I started going back into the woods too. Most of my time is dedicated to target practice, and when I get bored, I hunt. It feels good to be back in my element. However, it is still strange to be without a hunting partner. I haven't seen Gale in months. I purposely avoid the woods on Sundays. I know he has to hunt sometime. I just don't want to deal with that right now, but I will, soon. Instead, I sleep in and have one day of rest with Peeta and Ollie. Just thinking about Ollie puts a smile on my face. The way his face brightens when Peeta or I talk to him now. The way he smiles, it may be slobbery and toothless, but it's still the most beautiful thing in the world.

I take one last deep breath and open my eyes to a concerned Peeta. He hands me the small metal canteen he always carries with him when we train. I take large gulps and wipe the sweat from my brow. The days have slowly had becoming milder, which I welcome compared to the bitter cold.

"I think we can call it a day," Peeta suggest and I nod my head fervently in agreement.

"I think we can walk home too," I add quietly, inwardly groaning at the idea of jogging the two miles back on our loop.

"Perfectly fine with me," Peeta says looping an arm around my waist.

We walk at a good pace, but I grow impatient to get back, and end up jogging halfway home. It's mid- afternoon when we walk through the door of my mother and Prim's house. "Hello?" I call out as Peeta shuts the door behind us.

"Living room! Come quickly!" I hear Prim answer back excitedly.

We both hustle into the living room to find my mother and sister watching Ollie intently laying on a mound of blankets. Before we can ask what the rush was, Ollie starts to rock and twist his lower body and then all at once he rolls onto his back with a surprised noise. We all smile and laugh at his new found movements.

"You never did that before did you buddy?" Peeta beams proudly kissing Ollie on the cheek. Ollie smiles and then starts to twist again, but gets stuck on his back. I join Peeta on the floor and when Ollie twist, I put my hand up so he can push off, and he lands happily face first into the blanket. The happy baby kicks his feet into the ground at this achievement letting a big line of drool dribble down his chin with his toothless smile.

"You look just like your father," I tease Peeta and he nods.

"Yep look at this handsome young man! He will be crawling before we know it!" We all laugh and Ollie continues to move around connecting everything he has just figured out.

We all watch and let Ollie entertain us until I remember how hungry I am, and return to our house.

I follow Peeta upstairs into our bedroom where Ollie's crib is now sitting under the front window. The bassinet was becoming a tight fit for our growing baby. I wouldn't have done this before the announcement, but Peeta insisted he stay close to us. I didn't argue. It gives me peace of mind at night being able to see him. Besides, time is short for me being able to be with Ollie.

Now, I sigh at the sight of Peeta trying to pry the baby from his arms. Ollie has a firm grip on his t-shirt, and will not let go. Ollie is pushing away from Peeta's shoulder and then snuggling right back into his neck. I laugh and move over to help him. "Someone doesn't want to let go of his daddy," I tease, lightly tickling Ollie's side, he squirms, scrunching his face finally releasing his hold on Peeta's shirt. I lean down pressing a kiss right at his hairline, his soft tuft of hair brushing my cheek.

Peeta follows suit and kisses him once before stepping back and wrapping an arm around me. I rest my head against his shoulder. "Did I ever tell you how great of a mother you are," he whispers in my ear. Both of us focused on Ollie's eyelids slowly sagging, but he keeps pushing them back open, only for them to slowly slide closed once again.

"Well I'm nothing compared to your impeccable daddy status," I retort, Peeta chuckles quietly squeezing me closer to him. "For now I'll take the compliment."

"About time you take one Katniss, now, how about a late lunch?"

"Can it be a non-diet lunch…with cheese buns," I ask timidly. He gives me the boyish lopsided grin.

"Anything you want."

Our days follow a similar routine with training most of the day, and our nights spent lying low trying to relax. I thought I would be more of a head case, but in a way knowing what is going to happen is a relief. No more guessing games, now we prep. Peeta gets noticeable stronger, faster, and his hand-to-hand combat is what is the most impressive. His brother Rye is the one who helped the most with that. He hasn't offered his services as much recently because his losses are starting to pile up.

With only a couple weeks until the reaping, we haven't seen Haymitch much. Before I would have thought he was on a binge, but he has slowed his alcohol intake to where he can function before noon without being drunk.

I am itching to go over and see what he is up too, but Peeta is always with me, making it impossible to make a quick visit alone. I need to remind him that saving me is not an option.

After our morning workout I suggest that we stop early to see Ollie claiming that I miss him, which isn't a lie. I always miss him when I'm away, but I have a plan to sneak over to Haymitch's for a couple minutes.

Peeta and I walk through our front door hand in hand immediately finding my mother and Ollie in the living room. My mother suggested they just stay at our house and watch him so she wouldn't need to wake him before we left this morning.

Ollie is sitting propped up against my mother as she holds a brightly colored rattle just out of his reach. He wiggles and throws his arms at the desired object until she finally lets him latch on, and he puts it directly into his mouth. Ollie lets out a gasp that is starting to sound more like a real laugh now more than ever before. Peeta drops down and takes my mother's place kissing Ollie and rubbing his little belly.

"He almost figured out how to laugh, but that rattle takes better," my mother says moving into the kitchen. "Prim went into town to buy some bandages, but I still had to give her an extra coin for some peppermints." We both laugh at the thought of Prim and her sweet tooth.

"I actually need you to distract Peeta for about ten minutes. I need to talk to Haymitch, alone," I whisper, my mother nods.

"No problem he's with Oliver," she tells me pulling two mugs from the cabinet, and moving the tea kettle to the lit burner.

I give her a smile of appreciation and quietly creep to the front door, jogging swiftly off the porch, and across the lawn. Peeta won't even know I'm gone.

I make it to Haymitch's house and don't bother with the polite knock, I barge in on his slightly disgusting house, following the noise of his voice into the kitchen. He is sitting in what looks like day old clothing, his feet on the table leaned back in one of the old wooden chairs. He is talking with someone on the phone which is very unusual. I thought he ripped it out of the wall after we got back from the games.

He holds up a hand telling me he will just be a moment. I plop down in the chair across from him moving the half empty bottle of spirits out of my range of smell. I will never understand how he drinks something so vile.

He finishes the mumbled conversation slamming the phone back down onto the receiver with a grunt. "Why do people have to be stubborn? Nevermind you're the wrong person to ask," he snides and takes his feet off the table . "What do you need? "

"I just wanted to make sure you remembered our deal. No matter what he makes it out alive for Oliver," I remind him sternly and nods.

"I kept both of you alive once, I think I can do it again sweetheart."

"I know what you are capable of, but we are going against Snow. You can't believe you would ever get both of us out alive," I state.

"Can you have faith that I have a plan?"

I nod my head, but I'm still not at ease. "But, if Peeta's name is pulled at the reaping wou-," I stumble my speech before he cuts me off with a sharp nod.

"I won't even hesitate." He says permanently ending the conversation. I shift uncomfortably in my chair not knowing what to say after this man has offered to give his life for Peeta. Haymitch isn't a feeling person, but this is too much for a simple thank you.

"Don't you have other things to tend too?" He asks after another moment of silence.

"Yes," I answer getting to my feet. I pause before leaving his smelly kitchen. "Thank you."

He never says anything to me, but I know he appreciates it with his slight head nod and the shooing motion of his hand.

The weeks turn into days, and soon there are simply hours until I will say goodbye to District 12. I haven't been to the woods since before I had Ollie, and I never got to take him there once. The only thing I will regret, but I know that will when I'm gone Peeta will take him there. I wrote a letter to Ollie the other day while he was napping and Peeta was busy baking. I left a detailed description of where all my father's bows where, and tips my father told me when he first taught me to shoot. I know it might be useless, but that's all I have to give him, and to say I love him. I left the letter carefully in my hunting jacket address to Ollie, and it will be found at some point.

I run through my words in my head will I dry a sleepy Ollie's after his bath. I carefully put him in a new diaper and soft jumper, before carrying him to our room. Peeta has finished his nightly routine, and waits patiently in bed for me. I don't put Ollie in his own bed, but climb into ours with him still snuggled against me. I get under the covers and Peeta pulls us to him. I settle down and adjust the half asleep baby so he can lay comfortably on my chest. Peeta slowly strokes Ollie's back and I relish in his warmth and solid weight on my chest.

"I don't know how I am ever going to let him go," I whisper and Peeta pulls me tighter.

"I promise you won't have too. You might for a little while, but you will always get back to him," Peeta whispers so confidently, but yet I know that his promise will never stand true. It can't because the best thing is for Peeta to be there for him. That is the best thing for Ollie, and if I keep telling myself that then it will come true.

I don't answer Peeta mainly because this will only lead to an argument and make him even more determined. I enjoy the silence and only the gentle movements of Peeta stroking Ollie's hand with his seemingly too large index finger. I study his movements and imagine all the nights he will have to comfort our baby by himself. All the explanations and trying to fill the void left when a parent is absent. If anyone could love a child enough for two parents it is Peeta though. The only end game is for them both to be safe, and I don't plan on letting go of them until the moment my name is pulled from that glass bowl. I adjust Ollie so I know he won't roll away while he sleeps, and nestle my head into Peeta's chest. I inhale his scent and focus on his heart beat that slowly lulls me to sleep.

I don't remember anything from the moment I fall asleep to when I wake to Ollie stirring on my chest making soft noises leading into a round of random giggles, and babbles I smile and look over to Peeta who is tickling Ollies uncovered foot and making strange faces. I join in on making our son laugh until we are all gasping for air, and Ollie stops laughing to watch his crazy parents. He eventually gets bored of our antics and sits up trying to roll out of my reach. It's such a normal moment that I forget about what's to come. I crash back into reality and abruptly get out bed leaving Peeta alone. I mumble about changing Ollie and disappear to the nursery.

I can't think about this perfect picture. I have to focus on my mission of saving Peeta. In the first games I had less attached, but now he's everything. I am a completely different person. I haven't shot an arrow since leaving the last arena. We have trained, but I have spent majority of my time cuddling my son to sleep at night. The wonderful peaceful moments, and now I have to kill another twenty strangers.

I sigh heavily and clasp the last button on the soft jumper, and a bright eyed baby smiling back at me. " I'm going to do everything for you," I whisper softly deciding to focus on this moment for the rest of my life.

Effie leading us, Ollie situated on my hip resting quietly, while I walk between Haymitch and Peeta towards the square. My mother and sister follow closely behind in front of the five or so Peacekeepers. The only sound besides our shoes pounding the hard ground are Ollie's chatter to no one in particular. Once we reach the square I give Ollie's forehead one last kiss before handing him off to my mother. With my back to all of District 12 and my son I stand in the roped off section for female victors, which only includes me. I dare a glance at Peeta and Haymitch adjacent to me, and Peeta keeps bouncing his eyes between staring at me and probably Ollie behind me. Effie comes out on stage and gives the traditional speech and the nonsense video from the Capitol. Then comes the reaping. She wobbles over to the glass bowl with only one name inside of it. Effie looks out at with the most genuine look of regret as she twirls her hand until she finally grasp the single slip. I don't listen to my name being called, but I latch onto to Ollie's sudden crying at seeing me walk up on stage. I hesitate and look over my shoulder at my son as he reaches out whimpering for me to hold him. I have to push myself up onto the stage before the Peackeepers forced me. My mother and Prim try their best to calm him, but it's no use. Ollie can see me and until I'm out of his sight he won't stop. Peeta starts to move in his direction, but Haymitch stops him. Effie tries to push on, but Ollie is screaming louder than I have ever heard before. However, after a stern warning from a Peacekeeper the show goes on.

"Now for the men," she spits, trying to put any ounce of enthusiasm she has left, but not much. She twirls her hand around, but not as long as she did for mine. She plucks up one piece and walks back to the microphone. "The male tribute for the 75th Hunger Games is...Peeta Mellark!"


End file.
